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  #1  
Old 01-28-2014, 05:29 PM
lnms06 lnms06 is offline
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Default Seeking our unicorn

My husband and I are seeking a female. We are new to the scene, and have pretty clear cut ideas of what we want and don't want. We definitely do not want another couple! We are strictly looking for another female, or hell, two females. Lol. We are hoping to find someone we hit it off with, see what happens, and make it a long term thing. We recently had our first and only threesome, with another female. It was great. But it was her first time as well, and she feels as though she might cause problems or get attached to one of us, so she is very hesitant for a repeat. So obviously, we are looking for someone comfortable with the whole idea, and not afraid to get close, without causing drama. We are very secure in our relationship. And we LOVE the adrenaline, curiosity, sexual intensity and spice this brought! Any pointers on proceeding? How to approach people? Any advice on what to avoid? I'll take anything you can throw at us to help.
We are a very good looking couple, both 30 years old, and would like someone not much older than us, and not too young. Looking forward to any and all replies!! Thank you.
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Old 01-28-2014, 07:30 PM
northhome northhome is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lnms06 View Post
Seeking our unicorn
You are very brave to choose a title like that in a forum like this....
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  #3  
Old 01-28-2014, 07:48 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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I'll get my small rant out of the way:

You want a girl to be join you as a couple. You and everyone else. I'm a potential unicorn, that is I'm willing to date a couple. I see these ads all the time. And NOT ONCE have I ever seen the couple showing me what they have to offer me. It's all about them.

Always.

Dating a couple is risky. I might fall in love with the husband, and get kicked out by the wife, if I refuse to be intimate with her. I might develop attachments-- and find it difficult to find a "legitimate" partner who is accepting of my poly relationship. I might have issues telling friends and family. Unicorns get burned, frequently, and as a result, can shy away from future attempts.

It's a big thing you're asking for; what are you willing to give in return?
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Old 01-28-2014, 10:08 PM
lnms06 lnms06 is offline
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I completely understand your reasoning behind our rant.
I apologize if my post came across as us wanting what we want and that's all. That is not the fact. We have discussed the whole situation 100's of times prior to acting on anything, and our main priority is everyone's comfort, and definitely the fact that we don't want ANYONE feeling left out. We are adults, and agreeing to do this requires that we be ready and prepared for anything. We obviously want To fulfill this again....but ultimately only if its the "right" girl and we hit it off. Our other main thing, is that we DO NOT want multiple females, or random one night stands. I see many couples posting for hookups! This is not our intention....we want a companion with similar interests! Not only will this female want respect for their potential lover....she deserves it and from both of us! We will consistently treat you as an equal....and NEVER want her to be treated as an object or toy. Thank you for your feedback!! I can honestly say we are very different from the millions of other couples. Much higher risk with random multiple hookups!
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  #5  
Old 01-28-2014, 10:47 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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No,your quest is common as can be, on this board!

Please read this article: "So Someone Called You a Unicorn Hunter?"

http://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 36), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years
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  #6  
Old 01-29-2014, 12:11 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings lnms06,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

As far as where and how to look for "potential unicorn candidates," there's a few poly-friendly dating sites:
We also have a Dating & Friendships subforum that can be useful for your search.

Buuut ... might want to consider removing the word "unicorn" from your vocabulary; it means Bad Things to some people and may misrepresent what you have in mind. Perhaps you might try an ad along the lines of, "We are hoping to become an MFF triad?"

Besides the article Magdlyn mentioned, consider also reading A Proposed Secondary's Bill of Rights.

I'm sure your motives are sincere, just make sure that potential candidates know you are 100% prepared to treat them as an equal and be flexible towards their situation and needs.

Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
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  #7  
Old 01-29-2014, 07:53 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
I'll get my small rant out of the way:

You want a girl to be join you as a couple. You and everyone else. I'm a potential unicorn, that is I'm willing to date a couple. I see these ads all the time. And NOT ONCE have I ever seen the couple showing me what they have to offer me. It's all about them.

Always.

Dating a couple is risky. I might fall in love with the husband, and get kicked out by the wife, if I refuse to be intimate with her. I might develop attachments-- and find it difficult to find a "legitimate" partner who is accepting of my poly relationship. I might have issues telling friends and family. Unicorns get burned, frequently, and as a result, can shy away from future attempts.

It's a big thing you're asking for; what are you willing to give in return?
A "unicorn" posted on facebook this morning she was dumped by her couple via email. Guess they didn't have the guts to tell her to her face and she's hurting bad now, probably even more, by not having it done in person.
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  #8  
Old 01-30-2014, 12:29 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Here's another recent unicorn thread.

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=62800
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 36), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years
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  #9  
Old 01-30-2014, 06:56 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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OP, as you can see, posts like yours actually get posting on a fairly frequent basis, please do read fully the threads suggested and take time to process what is said to you before replying, there is a reason why these threads garner a lot of negativity, please take this opportunity to learn why this might be.

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