Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-19-2014, 06:58 PM
lady00rose lady00rose is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1
Default Starting with a hello

Hello folks,
I am a poly-intrigued/poly-curious college student. I am wanting to get to know more about poly community for a few reasons.
One being for myself, upon learning of polyamoury I have been drawn to more and more knowledge on the subject and it has become to feel more and more like something I would be interested in perusing as part of my life.
I also come to this forum with lots of questions. At my college I am on the executive board of the Queer Student Union who co-sponsors and event yearly called 'sextival' it is a one day event in which students can come and explore all different things about sex, sexuality, romantic orientation, gender, and so much more. I am wanting to sponsor a table about Polyamoury but I don't know where to begin with resources/a knowledge to share with my school. So if anyone knows a place where I can find tabling resources (ie brochures/handouts) or has any ideas of information that is must have within a trifold about polyamoury, I would gladly take the advice.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2014, 09:52 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,422

Greetings lady00rose,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I don't personally know of a source for tabling resources, and what constitutes "poly basics" tends to be a matter of opinion. But, I'll try to share some of the basics as I understand them.


Polyamory is (the ability/inclination to practice, and/or the actual instance of) (a) romantic arrangement/s or configuration/s involving three or more adults, with the knowledge and consent of all involved. It is one subset of responsible non-monogamy (a.k.a. open relationships).

A few recommended poly-related books are:
  • "Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships," by Tristan Taormino.
  • "The Ethical Slut: a guide to infinite sexual possibilities," by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt.
  • "Sex at Dawn: how we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships," by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.
  • "Polyamory: the new love without limits," by Deborah Anapol.
  • "The Polyamorists Next Door: inside multiple-partner relationships and families," by Elisabeth Sheff.
  • "Polyamory: roadmaps for the clueless and hopeful," by Anthony Ravenscroft.
  • "The Monogamy Myth: a personal handbook for recovering from affairs," by Peggy Vaughan.
  • "Open: love, sex, and life in an open marriage," by Jenny Block.
A few recommended poly-related movies are:
  • "December Bride" (1990).
  • "A Small Circle of Friends" (1980).
  • "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" (2008).
  • "Paint Your Wagon" (1969).
  • "Bandits (2001).
A few helpful web pages are:
A few poly-friendly dating sites:
Resources for finding local poly groups:
People often ask how you deal with jealousy and here are some web pages to help:
And some general poly guidelines I have heard of are:
  • Communicate; communicate; communicate.
  • Total openness, honesty, and transparency.
  • Careful empathy, respect, and objectivity.
  • Wait on the knowledge and consent of all concerned.
  • New relationships only when existing relationships are secure.
  • New relationships only if they benefit existing relationships.
  • Move at the pace of the slowest person.
Not every polyamorist/poly unit has "rules," but if you do, make sure everyone understands and agrees, and stick to them. Be ready and willing to renegotiate from time to time, but don't stray from whatever the rules are at the moment. Remember, asking permission ahead of time is a lot easier than having to beg for forgiveness after the fact.

When communicating, seek to constantly improve the way you communicate, and that especially includes improving the way you listen.

Take nothing for granted. Get confirmation. Never assume something's obvious!

Beware ... beware ... beware of NRE!


The above may give you a place to start and I can probably direct you to more info if you have specific questions. Also, please read as much as you can right here on Polyamory.com, and post to get more feedback.

Glad you could join us.
Kevin T., "official greeter"


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 04:26 AM.