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  #1  
Old 12-29-2013, 04:19 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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Default NRE how long to do begin worrying?

I'm all a flutter. I finally met someone who I'm deeply attracted to online. He said it's mutual. He is traveling and set up a date for when he gets back. He's been emailing me everyday - said he might not have access for awhile, but kept emailing. Then, he asked me to send more pictures which I did. I really haven't gotten a response since then.

Advice: Should I worry? Does this seem "headed south?"

The bigger question is am I ready to "do this again?" I get so "attached" so quickly. I'm still getting over my last boyfriend who I haven't seen in six months or spoken to in a few weeks.
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Old 12-29-2013, 04:24 PM
london london is offline
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It's going to be a rough ride if you develop attachments and expectations from people you've only emailed
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Old 12-29-2013, 04:32 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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O no, that's not quite what I mean...I mean we have a date set up. Place, time, act. It's a date we made. In my experience, men flake out or change their minds. Sometimes they disappear. What would "reasonable" expectations be for you regarding emailing? I have been asking myself this question both for how men treat me and how I treat them. For example, there is a guy I mailed for about two weeks. Finally he sent a picture. I was not attached. What would be the most civil procedure. 1. Not respond. 2. Respond and say I don't feel it.
3. Lie 4. Go meet him anyway because he's terribly funny.

I think the anonymity creates a lot off behavior that people wouldn't ordinarily do. I'm just trying to navigate that and also pressure myself to act with kindness and civility.
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Old 12-29-2013, 04:40 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Nothing is real until you meet face to face. Don't get all twitterpated by someone you have never met.
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Old 12-29-2013, 04:41 PM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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I can't ever judge my attraction or not off of a picture. While I may take note of a person's physical attractiveness, I never feel sexual attraction until I get to know them, and a connection is made.

I would go anyway. But you know yourself better than I do.

And besides, if there is no chemistry, he could be a friend.
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  #6  
Old 12-29-2013, 04:49 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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Excellent advice all! Thank you.

How do you deal with it when you write to people for awhile and then lose interest. Do you just blow them off or send them a note? Do any of you send messages after the date (whether you like someone or not)?
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Old 12-29-2013, 04:56 PM
london london is offline
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I try to make sure I've sent the last message to people I'm attracted to so I know when they've petered out
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Old 12-29-2013, 07:53 PM
Toruchan Toruchan is offline
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bofish,

How long it's been since he sent you an email?


In your OP, you mentioned he might not have an access to get in touch with you... Could this be the reason he hasn't emailed you? Do you have other means to contact? i.e. via cell phone/text?

I don't know what you can do at this point. You sent him an email, so the ball is in his court. Maybe wait for a while you think is reasonable for YOU since I don't know when he is coming back....then if he doesn't write back, move on with your daily life without spending too much time thinking about it.

It may not be easy, but thinking too much of anything, in my opinion, is not a good idea. I have tendency to overthink/worry so it's something I need to work on personally.


As for picture sharing, I very much dislike doing that. I know I will form some preconceived idea even when I try not to...just by how he looks on the picture. I prefer to meet people blind date style. I met my boyfriend (whom I met online) for coffee without exchanging pictures.




Oh, hello everyone! I'm Toruchan from Northshore/Massachusetts. I've been enjoying this forum for a while. So much great information.
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