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Old 08-22-2009, 02:46 AM
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Default Is poly a decision or a person's nature?

I came across this blog today and it got me thinking.... here is what it says,

"Polyamory is a lie that people use to make themselves feel different. They puff their chests out and proclaim "I'm poly!" to be trendy or to justify sneaking around on their spouses.

Guess what? No one, NO ONE gets all or his or her needs meet in one relationship. If someone decided to get his sexual needs met through multiple partners, that is a decision, not something in his genetic code. And if someone decides to fill her romantic cup with more than one lover, then that is a decision, not some driven need. Having multiple sex partners and multiple lovers is common as DIRT!

If I get hungry several times a day, it is because I am human, not a polymealist. And if I sleep once a day, it is because I am human, not a monosleepist.

Get over it, people! You make your decisions how to live your lives. Don't go pretending that you are different from other people."

what do we all feel about this? Is poly a decision? or not.....?
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Last edited by River; 08-22-2009 at 04:25 PM. Reason: added apostrophe to title question
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Old 08-22-2009, 03:28 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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I think it is a combination of choice and genetics. I think polyamory is something to be proud of because it is an ethical way to express our desires as opposed to the cultural norm of cheating.
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Old 08-22-2009, 05:29 AM
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I have to agree with Quath. I think we do make the choice to accept our poly sides/natures but I know that there are some who fully choose to become poly by changing and adjusting themselves to the situation. So it is both.

The problem I have with what this person said is "or to justify sneaking around on their spouses." Now I know that some people will claim to be poly just so they can feel better about sleeping around, but poly is all about openness and honesty so there would be no "sneaking".
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Old 08-22-2009, 09:06 AM
CaityandBen CaityandBen is offline
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Well, I kind of decide that this is a choice...I could certainly live my life as in a monogamous relationship with my current boyfriend but I'm bisexual and I have needs that he knows he will never be able to fulfill. Also, as a human male, he needs variety, naturally. Therefore, this is a lifestyle for me that I have chosen.

Ben and I sat down and agreed that we are human beings. We need variety and that it's not really possible for us to be attracted to the same person...and only that person for the rest of our lives...

so maybe it's not a choice, naturally...You can live a miserable life, cheating and pretending to be something you're not...or you can be who you are and have an intimate relationship with your girlfriend and your boyfriend and get all your cookies!

We all know...or I hope that most of us here know that homosexuality and bisexuality is not a choice... and that's mostly the issue of poly relationships...right? one who is bisexual and needs both to be happy...and that's fine. Or sometimes you need that preppy hot jock guy with huge pecks and others you need that badass tattooed guy with the green mohawk.

It makes sense to me...
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Old 08-22-2009, 02:52 PM
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I think poly is nature... but we choose whether to live it.
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Old 08-22-2009, 03:03 PM
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Redpepper,

As a general rule, it is appropriate when quoting text found on the internet--especially lengthy quotes--to provide a link to the source material. Through a Google search, I identified the source of your quote in the opening post in this thread.:
http://poly-blog.blogspot.com/2006/0...olyamoury.html

As is very often the case with internet posts exhibiting rabid contemptuousness, the poster of these quoted words also exhibits flagrant disregard for reasonableness. I hope it will not be necessary to point out the many ridiculous flaws in reasoning in that bit of text!

I'll weigh in on the topic in a later post.
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Old 08-24-2009, 06:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaityandBen View Post
as a human male, he needs variety, naturally. Therefore, this is a lifestyle for me that I have chosen.
Really?
I'm not sure I agree with this statement. I think it is natural or not depending on the man, just as it is natural of not to be gay.
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Old 08-24-2009, 06:06 AM
CaityandBen CaityandBen is offline
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True I guess that does make sense. In our opinions, we feel like we need variety. So that is in our nature. Other people might be different...for instance, My mother feels she is completely monogamous and that sleeping with someone else outside of her monogamous relationship would be bad news.
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Old 08-24-2009, 06:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaityandBen View Post
Also, as a human male, he needs variety, naturally.
With all due respect I am going to flat out disagree with this statement...this is an extremely simplistic aproach which I am sure is used by many men all over the world..usually after they screw up.
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Old 08-24-2009, 06:23 AM
CaityandBen CaityandBen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
With all due respect I am going to flat out disagree with this statement...this is an extremely simplistic aproach which I am sure is used by many men all over the world..usually after they screw up.
I agree to disagree.. I can't say much more and I've typed literally about 20 explanations trying to be as reasonable and I can't. I feel this way and always have.
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