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  #1  
Old 11-28-2013, 01:04 AM
d0r0thea d0r0thea is offline
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Default New and feeling naive

We officially opened our marriage 2 weeks ago. Prior to officially opening the marriage I met 2 men online. Older and single. I had sex with one of them after our 3rd date. The other one was in town for business and due to time constraint we only made out. But I know next time he is in town we will have sex. My sexual experience is zilch. I was a virgin when I got married.

Common sense tells me men want sex. A no brainer. I think what I want is just to have some fun, meet interesting people, experiment, new experiences. The 2 men I have already met have become good friends.

My issue is I am on OKCupid. I have met a crap load of men who are looking for someone like me. Sex with not strings attached- Which I am ok with. BUT here is my problem. They keep pairing me with men just like my husband. Sex driven, overly confident, over achievers and aggressive. Makes me wonder what that says about me;D. I don't want to be the most popular girl in school because "I put out"

I guess I am just asking for tips on the whole online dating thing. What boundaries should there be. I have no experience.
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  #2  
Old 11-28-2013, 01:42 AM
graviton graviton is offline
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ummmm how about having more respect for yourself and stop feeding the hyenas? You don't have to have sex with everyone. If you're afraid they will lose interest then so much the better. Stop going after the guys OK cupid suggests and go for the low % match guys. They will most likely be different from your husband. You may find that just because someone answers those silly questions differently than you doesn't mean they are less fun or interesting. Who wants to hang out with people identical to ourselves anyway?
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  #3  
Old 11-28-2013, 02:18 AM
Norwegianpoly Norwegianpoly is offline
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I don't see the problem. Is not "putting out" the whole point of sex with no strings attached (or any sex)? If you want to wait with sex or have no sex at all then follow your heart and insticts.

If you want to date different kinds of men, then search for them. You might consider looking at different kids of sites, or other channels of meeting men.

Last edited by Norwegianpoly; 11-28-2013 at 02:21 AM.
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  #4  
Old 11-29-2013, 01:30 PM
london london is offline
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Have as much sex as you want to have and don't worry about what other people think. Don't have sex with someone becAuse you feel obligated to and don't refuse sex with someone you'd like to have sex with because society says it's too soon.

Last edited by london; 11-29-2013 at 01:32 PM.
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  #5  
Old 11-29-2013, 01:38 PM
d0r0thea d0r0thea is offline
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thanks for the advice . i am still trying to figure all this out.
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  #6  
Old 11-29-2013, 04:49 PM
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TheRealDeal TheRealDeal is offline
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Default be yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by d0r0thea View Post
thanks for the advice . i am still trying to figure all this out.



My advise to you is don’t let hypocritical people behind a wall who could be putting out even morhan you sexually but telling you to deny enjoying sex which is the best thing in life that is free. Even if you are a sex addict like most of us you are not a drug addict. You are not taking drugs or hurting children or any adult intentionally. Keep on having as much sex as you can and want because if you stop you will be stressed because that who and what you are and cannot be or do otherwise. Its better to have more than less. Unless you preffer to be stressed and depressed! Sex is a remedy for your complain and to not have sex would make you become depressed.

Just do it safely and discreetly. However stop putting out for men who someone choose for you. Find yourself capable studs-bulls to feed you sexcitingly because the reason why you have to be putting out for so many different men is because you need to find four or more good capable sex partner with big cocks (not mini cocks) big cock bulls black or white to bulls you right at will. A combination of physical/oral sex is the menu for you. After all you cant turn a zebra into a mouse. So what you need is sex sex sex (smile) but not quantity, quality is what you need. . You need to find a few capable well endowed open minded bulls to service you consistently right physically and orally in a kinky and freaky manner and that will prevent you from indulging in quantity.

So your problem is not because you are puttion out, or because you are addicted to sex. Its not what you do its how. Have sex as much as you can and want. Just make sure you put out for well endowed bulls black or white with big cocks and kinkey minds so they will sex you physically and orally right in order to stimulate your mind/body and soul. Its not less sex you want, its just a lot of good quality sex sex sex. Just do it safe and discreet with big cock men black and or white.

By the way have you taken black men as yet? I have a girlfriend who use to have the same problem as you do because she was into quantity not quality. Then she took my advise snd found and start sexing black men, along with a few choosed reasonable big vanilla flavoured men with good size cock. She now have 2 big cock black bulls plus the etc and now she said, my god i went from putting out for men men men trying to get satisfaction, now all i do is sex none stop discreetly with only a few big cock men and she is soooooooooooo feeling good.

Quality not quantity is the remedy for your complain. Go into your futuring puttion our or sexciting adventure with a more open mind culturally find yourself a few cable big ciock bulls sex them discreetly and making sure its safe sex and i gurantee you will find the remedy for your complain. No you are not doing anything wrong by having plenty sex lol. You are not the only one on this site who is putting out, or opening your legs fro different men. There is nothing to be ashame of. Its just that you are too much into quantity and whats needed is quality.

Last edited by TheRealDeal; 11-29-2013 at 06:48 PM.
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  #7  
Old 11-29-2013, 01:53 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d0r0thea View Post
We officially opened our marriage 2 weeks ago. Prior to officially opening the marriage I met 2 men online. Older and single. I had sex with one of them after our 3rd date. The other one was in town for business and due to time constraint we only made out. But I know next time he is in town we will have sex. My sexual experience is zilch. I was a virgin when I got married.
How long have you been with your husband? I assume you have sex with him, so your sexual exp. is not zilch. It's just limited to one guy.

What led you to cheat? Is your husband fine you did? Was he cheating himself? Are you both really totally OK with your spouse fucking others? What if feelings develop between you and one of your lovers, or between him and his, if he has any?

Quote:
Common sense tells me men want sex. A no brainer. I think what I want is just to have some fun, meet interesting people, experiment, new experiences. The 2 men I have already met have become good friends.
Good friends you can fuck. FWBs. So, why do you need more? Need to sow some wild oats, after being a virgin on your wedding night?

Quote:
My issue is I am on OKCupid. I have met a crap load of men who are looking for someone like me. Sex with not strings attached- Which I am ok with. BUT here is my problem. They keep pairing me with men just like my husband. Sex driven, overly confident, over achievers and aggressive. Makes me wonder what that says about me;D. I don't want to be the most popular girl in school because "I put out"

I guess I am just asking for tips on the whole online dating thing. What boundaries should there be. I have no experience.
I've been on OKC for almost 5 years. Especially when I first joined, I was deluged with offers. I am picky. I want to be safe! I always insisted on a public first date (with a couple rare exceptions after really good honest open chats for weeks). I am not going to go to his place, or invite him to mine, or go to a hotel unless we talk in public first. A screening, an audition, if you will. Lot of weirdos out there.

I assume you won't fuck just anyone. So spend your time determining just what kind of man you want (if your current 2 lovers and your husband really aren't enough), then go and search for him. If you don't want a man who only wants sex, find a guy who also meets other criteria, shares other interests of yours, is open to doing activities outside the bedroom. At least dinner first! Cuddling on the couch, walks in a park, a movie, museums, concerts, whatever floats your boat. It can take a while to find these people, so be prepared to be patient and do the "work."
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #8  
Old 12-03-2013, 02:22 PM
ChrisandS ChrisandS is offline
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Default Ok, had to reply

Hi, I'm Chris from this little place called Holland, very libererated place but moved recently.

I have been in the swinging scene for 25 years, reading your story I regocnized something.

Are you doing this for you or someone else? It looks like you are not doing it for you, let no one push you that is not love.

If you want to discover and you're comfortable, yeah fine it is ok to be nervous, undecided, but if you are pushed, don't go there.

I was Lucky and had lovely partners during my discovery, we loved each other and saw it as the cherry on the top. If we had couples around and we noticed she was pushed, no way, no sex tonight!

We Always stuck to that, it should be fun, if one person isn't happy, no way!

Be good, take care,

Chris.
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