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  #1  
Old 11-24-2013, 10:18 PM
JustUs JustUs is offline
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Default Living Together - V's, Triads, etc.

My wife's boyfriend will be moving here in the very near future. They have been together long distance for 4 years and he and I get along great.
I'm just curious of others living arrangements. Sleeping arrangements? does everyone have their own space?
We all have a pretty good idea of our arrangement, but we are all flexible and very open to new ideas or thoughts.
Any stories or suggestions always welcome.
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  #2  
Old 11-24-2013, 10:43 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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I live with my husband and my boyfriend (both straight) in a one-bedroom house. We share one king-size bed - I get the middle. When Dude's girlfriend stays over we sleep four to the bed (either MFMF or MFFM - MrS's request is that he gets an end).

When no-one is using the bed for sleep - any combination can use it for sex. If someone is using the bed for sleep then the sex-having people need to find another location. (We don't have kids, so this isn't an issue.)

Outside of the bedroom/bathrooms - we each have areas of the house that are "ours" - to retreat to, to decorate, to determine its uses, etc. The eventual plan is to build an addition with another bedroom and space for "private entertaining" without encroaching on the "common spaces"...but that is probably a few years off.

Both of the boys are WAY more social than I am...and would like to have "outside" people over on a more regular basis than I am comfortable with (my house is my "cave" - I have a short list of people that I am ok with having in my "cave" - the addition would address this.).
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


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  #3  
Old 11-24-2013, 10:52 PM
JustUs JustUs is offline
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That sounds like a very good arrangement that works for all 3 (4) of you. We did originally all 3 sleep in our kind size bed the first year or two when my wife's boyfriend would visit (which was usually 2-4 weeks at a time), which worked ok for awhile, but we all decided him having his own space as well when he visited, seemed to work much better.
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  #4  
Old 11-25-2013, 12:24 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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I think that it all depends on the people and dynamics involved. I think our set-up works better than expected because Dude and MrS are best friends as well as metamours (and were before the Vee formed). In addition, neither is homophobic or has "personal space" issues.

Some people need more "personal space" than others. Some people are uncomfortable sleeping (i.e. actual sleeping) with people that they wouldn't have sex with. (Whereas we are all ok with sharing a bed with anybody we are close enough to to invite to our private dwelling...or random people that are "not creepy"). Sleeping/bed-sharing =/= sex/intimacy for me/us.

In the long-term - people have their own preferences. Dude is fine sharing any and all things and does not find the lack of "personal space" constricting. I'm the most "restrictive" - I don't want people in my house if I am not willing to let them peruse my "stuff". MrS is somewhere in between...

PS. We are are excellent sleepers...we can sleep anywhere, anytime, with any people...8-10-12 hours - no problem. We tease each other that we are training for the "Interspecies Sleep Olympics" (MrS and my terrier, M, are competing for the "reigning champion" title...)
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 11-25-2013 at 12:30 AM.
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  #5  
Old 11-25-2013, 08:58 AM
london london is offline
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I would want everyone to have their own room. We might end up all sleeping together, but I think having your own space is necessary.
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Old 11-25-2013, 09:22 AM
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Mya Mya is offline
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I live with Hank. When we moved in together, I had been with rory longer than him and he is open to having another partner as well, so that was something that needed to be considered. So we moved into a two bedroom place and both have our own rooms. That has worked pretty well so far. When rory visits, the three of us hang out for a while but then we go to my room to have private time for the rest of the evening. We've talked about the possibility of one day living together with rory (if her current living situation changes for some reason) or some future partner we don't know about yet. We're open to the idea, but remain in the position that everyone would need to have their own space.
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Old 11-25-2013, 10:35 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
I would want everyone to have their own room. We might end up all sleeping together, but I think having your own space is necessary.
Agreed.. if possible. Even if the space isnt a bedroom. But .. everyone needs somewhere. Well at least anyone I know haha..
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