Dating Ideas?

[CaityandBen]

We are a couple, 19F and 28M, looking for a girlfriend. We have no clue where to look! As much as we'd like to simply pick up women in a bar...I (the 19F) am not allowed in the bar...nor do I really like to drink.

My first question is where have other people looked and found? And how are easy ways of introducing polyamory to someone we may be interested in? So I'm simply asking for stories and experiences and advice.

We have weighed the pros and cons of this lifestyle. We could not imagine anything better than having more love in our house and someday to have a big family!

[NeonKaos]

Well, for starters, you can join the unofficial "Unicorn Hunters' Club" that we seem to have here.

I mean that with the utmost respect!

Srsly. Maybe someone would start a Social Group for this. It might help; the topic keeps coming up.

[Quath]

Or you could just go around just asking random women to join you two. You will get slapped, rejected and yelled at 49 out of 50 times. But that 50th time is oh so special.

There are a few poly dating web sites in other threads. (We should probably have a sticky thread for poly dating and social websites.) You could also try to see if you have any friends that may be interested. Or join some social groups that exposes you two to more people.

[redpepper]

I had an ad on okcupid, plenty of fish, alt.com, adultfriendfinders you name it. I still get emails from them, which is annoying. There are poly dating sites too. But I don't have experience with them.

If you ask around people who date they will know what is popular for your area. Be sure to be very specific in your ad about wanting poly. There are more people into cheating, open relationships (ie. finding a one night stand), and swinging than poly. You'll have a lot of wading to do. Keep honest and patient. Take your time as there are a lot of one offs that think they know what they want, but when it comes down to it, just want to get laid and move on.

There are a lot of couples on those sites looking for the same thing as you. That doesn't mean it doesn't exsist, but can be very defeating.

[CaityandBen]

Originally Posted by redpepper

I had an ad on okcupid, plenty of fish, alt.com, adultfriendfinders you name it. I still get emails from them, which is annoying. There are poly dating sites too. But I don't have experience with them.

If you ask around people who date they will know what is popular for your area. Be sure to be very specific in your ad about wanting poly. There are more people into cheating, open relationships (ie. finding a one night stand), and swinging than poly. You'll have a lot of wading to do. Keep honest and patient. Take your time as there are a lot of one offs that think they know what they want, but when it comes down to it, just want to get laid and move on.

There are a lot of couples on those sites looking for the same thing as you. That doesn't mean it doesn't exsist, but can be very defeating.

yay! okay, so we do have an AdultFriendFinder account, but it's hell trying to find someone local, we find people we could fall in love with in a heartbeat but they live half way across the world. Did you have to travel or something?

[CaityandBen]

oh and another thing, with our AFF account, we get too many swingers and masturbating men asking just to sleep with me!...
or "swappers" and we have it posted on our profile that we're interested in a polyamorous lifestyle and it seems no one cares to read it. we have no x-rated images on there except myself in new bra and panties that I had purchased...whereas everyone has they're bottoms up in the air!! We have tried to make our profile as clean and serious as possible...

ps., i'm totally digging polyamory.com I enjoy venting!