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  #1  
Old 11-23-2013, 09:58 AM
mialush mialush is offline
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Default Is this arousal normal?

My husband has started seein this girl for about 4 months. She knew that he was married and is ok with that. He has fallen in love with her and she has moved in with us.

He has always been honest with his feelings and would talk to me about how he feels about her and how it is to make love to her. He says that they have incredible sex and that he's totally satisfied. Now that she lives with us, I see them kissing and witness them having sex. I find myself very aroused watching them together.

Is this a normal reaction? Does this happen to others too? We are new to this.

And what should I do?
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  #2  
Old 11-23-2013, 10:08 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Just....enjoy the feeling?

I don't know what exactly you want to hear, you're aroused and not to be dismissive but, so? Lots of people get aroused when they see physical intimacy, that is why there is a porn industry, of course it's normal.
Some people would consider it a plus, you are not feeling jealous but instead feel aroused...huzzah!! Result, enjoy it, go off and masturbate!
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Old 11-23-2013, 10:11 AM
london london is offline
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I think that people are either turned off, Indifferent or turned on by their partner having sex with other people. Being indifferent or turned on can only support a polyamorous relationship.
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Old 11-23-2013, 12:37 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Eh, what's normal, really? Doesn't sound weird to me. A scientist recently released results of a study she conducted in which it was found that most women get turned on by images that suggest the promise of sex. So, enjoy it.

My only question about your situation is, why did the gf move in with you? And why after dating your husband for only four months? That is the part that strikes me as rather odd, premature, perhaps a bit foolhardy, and where I would wave a yellow flag, just to be cautious. You hardly know someone at that early stage, even if he is "in love" with her. You say you're new to poly - were you under the mistaken impression that poly relationships mean everyone all has to live together? Do you have another relationship yourself? Hope you don't mind my asking - I'm just curious.
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Old 11-23-2013, 02:17 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Hi again, mialush. You posted almost the same thing in May of 2012.

Quote:
I can't believe how excited I get thinking about him falling in love with her again. Making deep passionate love to her. Letting him know that I would support him in following his heart.

Is this normal?
People said, yes, that is compersion. Or what you might call vicarious pleasure.

I gather from your posts, you don't want another lover, male or female, and are just content with your compersion for your h's loves. That is fine, as long as your needs are being met from just your husband.

But I also wonder, like NYCindie, why you both decided moving a new person in only 4 months into the relationship was a good idea. Could be very awkward if things go bad after the new relationship energy wears off. After all, sounds like that last relationship he tried in May 2012 didn't work out...
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  #6  
Old 11-23-2013, 10:05 PM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default It's only a problem if they are not aware you are watching

Leaving the door open is one thing, if you're walking down a hallway and they obviously aren't trying to hide anything, I believe it cold definitely be labeled healthy,normal arousal. If you are watching from some tiny hidden video than no, it isn't healthy at all unless they are aware and desire or at least willing to not care whether you watch.

Otherwise it is violating your other people's privacy, and out of all the private activities for you to violate -- sex if probably the worst one to be violated -- but that's my system /belief on severity of privacy violation, the only thing worse would be to then further violate by sharing or inviting others.

But honestly that's a moot point because that is not what you are asking, and even if you were, it would be their call as to whether or not they are offended.

Just make sure you don't interupt, and ask before you approach
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