Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-02-2011, 02:31 AM
sosexy78 sosexy78 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 2
Unhappy Poly couple in texas lonely--are we the only ones???

Hi Everyone,

My husband and I live in Austin, Texas and like many of you, hide our lifestyle from our families. We are so lonely and tired of being alone, but have no idea where to begin to look for that special someone to fill the ever widening void in our marriage. We have no kids and we work alot and are so lonely, mostly because we know nobody like US! We feel like aliens.

He constantly lies to women and says he isn't married because he dosen't want to scare them off, but then when things turn romantic he has to tell them and then it usually dosen't go well. I just avoid the question all together. The women usually just want me and me alone and at that, just for sex, not a relationship, and certainly not a package deal. Any advice or anything would be appreciated!

Thank You! Happy to find this site!
Signed Lonely in Austin.
__________________
Regards,
Taylor T/ aka Amber
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-02-2011, 02:55 AM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Right here. Right now.
Posts: 649
Default

Howdy, neighbors!

There used to be an active poly group in Austin. I/we live too far out to make it in often enough, but they used to have monthly meet & greets, movie nights, that sort of thing. Have a look in Yahoo groups.

And there are a couple of ads in the personals section of this forum, too.

Happy hunting! I hope you find what you're looking for. Oh! and Keep Austin Weird.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-02-2011, 03:09 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,186
Default

Welcome aboard.

In general, lying to prospective partners is a good way to remove them from being prospective partners. It's no way to engage in what is supposed to be an honest and ethical way of loving.

Next, expecting somebody to be interested in both of you equally--wanting a package deal--is going to limit the pool of potential partners a great deal. Single, bi babes looking to get involved with a couple are referred to as unicorns for a reason (they're quite rare).

I'll suggest reading widely on these boards. There are discussions of unicorns and meeting new people and so forth that can provide a good deal of information.
__________________
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-02-2011, 04:01 AM
sosexy78 sosexy78 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 2
Default Misunderstanding????

When I said that he has to lie---I meant that if he come right out when he meets a regular girl and tells her that he is "married" they are immediately uninterested in a long term relationship....as you guys well know most don't even know what poly is, let alone trying to explain it the moment you are asked what relationship status is..so what I was saying is that it is very difficult to know how to address the issue in everyday life and dating.

In no way was I saying that we are "fucking around". It is the exact opposite of that! Women want only sex from me and I want a relationship with them, however I want one that includes my husband, which is very hard to find as the person above you pointed out. My husband HAS NEVER has sex with a female and not told her that he was "married." Perhaps I should have been more clear when I stated that. I meant that as soon as a woman shows a romantic interest in him and it seems it will go there....he must be honest and tell her that he is married and then drop the poly bomb which then naturally dosen't go over well...

So, when I was asking for advice I was asking for advice on how to approach single women about poly relationships without deception or anything shady, but still having a chance at opening their mind to the idea or possibility. Maybe places we could go, or people we could talk to, anything helpful...even a community that is like-minded and local.

and thank you to the people that welcomed us without judgement..sometimes people don't word things right and assumptions can be made that aren't always correct, but I can see where one could get that idea by what I typed previously. Thank You.
__________________
Regards,
Taylor T/ aka Amber
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-02-2011, 05:41 AM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Right here. Right now.
Posts: 649
Default

I can see a number of miscommunications going on here.

I'll address the one that's easy to fix. The reference to "fucking around" is in Autumnal Tone's signature, and not a specific reference to this discussion. It appears as part of all of his posts.

As for the other areas you on which were seeking advice, there have been some very useful discussions on this forum on those subjects. I'd recommend doing some keyword seaches. Sorry I can't be of more help, but this is an area of poly life I just don't know much about.

Specific to Austin: if I recall correctly, the Austin poly meet-ups used to be held at Central Market, in the cafe. You might have a look at their calendar of events. And the meet-ups are weekly, not monthly.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-02-2011, 06:06 AM
NorCalK NorCalK is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Fran Bay Area
Posts: 11
Default

Glad to see you guys here! I haven't posted in awhile but I guess I am one of those "unicorns" mentioned... I had no idea I was, though, until I was poking around a dating site basically looking to have my first experience with a woman and fate was kind to me, in the form of a message from a wonderful male/female couple. I figured hey, why not have sex with a guy too, I know I like that and it will make it less awkward than just a girl and my pounding heart. After a few weeks of sex and hanging out and taking trips together, I realized I had feelings for both of them beyond sex, and they admitted they did too. Together ever since. So my point of this mushy story is that the perfect girl DOES come, although she may have never known what she wanted. The best would be to try to find a girl who is down for sex with both of you and actually wants to hang out, not just have drinks and bang. See where chemistry takes you all... Although I am concerned that you speak of a "widening void" between yourself and your husband... Poly triad relationships should only be had when the first (or primary... hate the connotations of that word though) coupling is secure in their relationship. It is a girl's worst nightmare to come into a relationship with a couple expecting lots of love and stability and then having to watch the couple throw proverbial dishes at each other all the time, get so attached to you they want to leave the other, etc... But I trust you are a mature adult, just wanted to put my warning out. No offense meant. I wish you two the best of luck.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-07-2011, 03:47 AM
Setxfamily's Avatar
Setxfamily Setxfamily is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 265
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fidelia View Post
Howdy, neighbors!

There used to be an active poly group in Austin. I/we live too far out to make it in often enough, but they used to have monthly meet & greets, movie nights, that sort of thing. Have a look in Yahoo groups.

And there are a couple of ads in the personals section of this forum, too.

Happy hunting! I hope you find what you're looking for. Oh! and Keep Austin Weird.
Actually Austin has the most active Poly group in all of Texas. They are actively involved in a place called the Human potential center.
http://www.humanpotentialcenter.org/

2007 Bert Avenue
Austin, TX 78704-7527
(512) 441-8988

Look up the place and I am sure you will at least find folks of a like mind.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-02-2012, 09:49 PM
RocknRollCowgirl RocknRollCowgirl is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 4
Default

I checked out the site for the HPC and didn't find anything for the Austin Poly group. I've been really wanting to go to a meeting. Any clue if maybe they are on meetup or Facebook or something?

Thanks.

and SoSexy78, feel free to contact me. I'm in the same boat!!! I know exactly what you are feeling!

:-)
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-02-2012, 11:08 PM
Setxfamily's Avatar
Setxfamily Setxfamily is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 265
Default

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/poly-a...guid=395886676

Here is a link to the Austin Poly group on Yahoo.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-02-2012, 11:10 PM
RocknRollCowgirl RocknRollCowgirl is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 4
Default

Thanks a bunch!!!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
couple, lonely, poly, texas

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:53 AM.