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Old 10-30-2013, 04:07 AM
AllDayEveryDay AllDayEveryDay is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 9
Question Very Lost

The man I am interested in is Poly. I, myself don't identify just yet.

Recently things have been sort of rocky with us, now he has a new girl. I love him to pieces, but with everything being so rocky with us, this new girl is a bit of a shock to my system.

I want him to be happy. I don't wish anything ill on them at all. I guess I am just having a lot of trouble with it and I don't entirely know how to handle it.
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Old 10-30-2013, 11:21 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

I am sorry. Relationship issues are tough no matter whether they occur in a monogamous or non-monogamous configuration.

Are the issues between you due to the fact that he is poly, and as of yet, you are not? Or something else with new poly dynamic added?
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Old 10-30-2013, 12:02 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,474

What, specifically, bothers you about him seeing someone new? How long have you been with your guy? Are you jealous? Is he all twitterpated and paying her too much attention? Is he seeing you less? Is he spending YOUR dates texting her? It's boundaries time. What would help you to feel more secure?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's bf for 5 years
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Old 10-30-2013, 01:00 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,134

Handle WHAT?
  • Your emotions?
  • The rocky problems?
  • Were you both dating each other exclusively and he broke that agreement by dating this new person?

I'm not clear on what's going on but I am very sorry you hurt.

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Old 10-30-2013, 08:20 PM
AllDayEveryDay AllDayEveryDay is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 9

Things have gone pretty fast for us. We have known each other for around 2 months, though "I love you", "I am in love with you" has been thrown around a lot.
He only just started dating her and I might just be over thinking it. They haven't had sex yet, but she stayed the night on their first date, and now he is spending Halloween with her. Granted Halloween was up in the air for us and we didn't think we were going to be spending it together, I still feel a bit left out of the picture.
I get to see him this Friday and I am hoping that things haven't changed between us.
I have the confidence that I give him things that, to be honest, she may not be able to.

In the beginning I had been under the impression that we would have the chance to get comfortable with each other first and then introduce others. I thought that he understood that since this is my first poly relationship, that I needed him to give me some time...
He went on one date a few weeks back, with a girl he had been best friends with for forever, but it didn't pan out. I was even able to talk to her and it made me feel much better about the entire thing. Though with this new girl, I don't know if he is comfortable with me talking to her. I would love to hear from her, so that I know more about her. Right now, in my mind, she is essentially a living replica of a brunette Barbie...
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Old 10-30-2013, 08:36 PM
AllDayEveryDay AllDayEveryDay is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 9
Default Epiphany

I think I might feel left out.
She is REALLY cute and I don't say that about many women...
I don't think I am jealous of her, I think I am jealous of Teel.
I want to kiss her. *pout*
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help advice, new poly

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