Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-09-2009, 10:17 PM
aussielover's Avatar
aussielover aussielover is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Home Sweet Home :D
Posts: 262
Default Need help

Ok, so as you know I'm seperating from my ex atm. She is still living here until sat. then she's leaving.
There has been a lot of bad blood as she sees my leaving her for sg & ab, which is NOT the case. Sg told a 'friend' about our situation, as I outlined somewhere else on here, can't remember where. She is nothing but a bitch and has tried to cause problems for us. Recently she contacted my ex, and now they're talking.
This morning I was bad. She left her computer unattended and I snooped. I found msn chat logs between these two and sent a copy to myself.

Upon reading them, I find both of them talking shit about both me and Sg, another friend, and our relationship. There were talks about reporting me to the Australian government, immigration... I am not a threat to the country, but this could cause me problems trying to get there. Hassles more than anything.
Also, I come to read, that she was planning on writing a letter to my parents basically 'outing' me. Now I fully intended on telling them in a few months once things settled down. It's not her place to tell them.... Near the end of the chat log, I read that she has ALREADY called my father and told him. This would have been wednesday, now my parents left thursday morning to go to a family reunion, so i can't get in contact with them. I don't know if she was just saying this to that woman or if it was true, and now I'm freaking out because I'm relying on them to help me get there, and if she's told them, I may be fucked.

I'm afraid to tell her I've found these logs, afraid to confront her because she has been violent in the past, and who knows what other problems she could cause for me.

I dont know what to do! I'm freaking out and I sent the logs to Sg and she's fuming as well... What should I do when I'm afraid for my saftey and my future? I would say try to keep my mouth shut but I need to know if my parents know for sure so I can try to repair any damage she may have done!!

HELP!!!
__________________
"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Home
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-10-2009, 01:20 AM
DestinyWaits's Avatar
DestinyWaits DestinyWaits is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: East Texas
Posts: 50
Default

oh, honey, this isn't good but not something that can't be fixed. All you have to do is tell your parents the truth or as much of it as you see fit (I wouldn't lie but do they really have to know the whole truth?). Just explain to them if your ex did say anything that she is just upset with you and trying to find ways to keep you here and tell your parents that she is trying to control you and this is one of the reasons you want out of the relationship with her because she is mentally abusive to you. Don't freak out too bad or she will win. stay calm and use your head.
__________________
There is no life without freedom, the freedom to be who and what you are.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-10-2009, 01:33 AM
aussielover's Avatar
aussielover aussielover is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Home Sweet Home :D
Posts: 262
Default

They already KNOW she's been emotionally abusive.
*sigh* I had a bit of a talk with her and told her I had a bad 'feeling' about some things... Like intuition. She swears she hasn't told them anything and would never call immigration on me. She was crying too and she looked sincere, so I don't know what to think now.
I don't know if she was just trying to show off to this bitch or what. *sigh* I guess I'll know for sure when my parents come home. I'm not going to lie to them, but I should be the one to be telling them, not her. *sigh* I dunno.
Thanks for your reply btw Destiny
__________________
"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Home
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-10-2009, 04:09 AM
Sunshinegrl's Avatar
Sunshinegrl Sunshinegrl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 227
Default

Im fuming..thats an understatement I was shaking so bad. Sitting pretty for the moment. Safest thing For you If we do.
__________________
I donít get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here...
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know that I am
I am, I am
The luckiest..
~ Ben Folds five ~
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-10-2009, 04:11 AM
foxflame88's Avatar
foxflame88 foxflame88 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Birmingham, AL, USA
Posts: 582
Default

What an awful position to be in... and even more awful that she is creating trouble for you. ((hugs)) I think Destiny had some good advice. Good luck and be strong. Don't let her get the better of you.
__________________
Alli
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. ~Woody Allen
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-10-2009, 04:58 AM
ThirdWheel's Avatar
ThirdWheel ThirdWheel is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 12
Default Holy Cow!

Just get away from the psycho. If she's out on Saturday, go stay with a friend, take anything of value you have and put it in your car and go to a hotel if you have to.

I've dated women like this before and you just don't know what is truth, what is just talk, and what they will or won't do. You say she's been emitionally and physically abusive in the past, so just get away now and make this psycho part of your past right now.

Once she's gone, break all contact. Don't give her the time of day. Don't try any retribution to "get back" at her. Nut jobs like that will just view that as you wanting them back in the picture. Ignore them completely.

I'm willing to bet that anything she might tell the Austrailian Immigration beaurocacy will just be swallowed up in the black-hole of beaurocacy. If you really think that she might actually do that, contact them yourself and tell them you are planning to move there on the work study program and a jealous friend has threatened to mess it up. Get your side of the story to them first.

Good luck to you and remember these types thrive on conflict, don't give her any.
__________________
Anything worth having will take a great deal of effort!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-10-2009, 05:11 AM
Sunshinegrl's Avatar
Sunshinegrl Sunshinegrl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 227
Default

Unfortunately there is NOWHERE She can go ..which is why she is still living in the same house. Counting down till she will be gopne and She will be safe. This has gotten beyond a joke and Its killing us to be so far away. I feel so fucking helpless.
__________________
I donít get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here...
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know that I am
I am, I am
The luckiest..
~ Ben Folds five ~
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:01 PM.