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  #1  
Old 10-09-2013, 12:56 PM
Lottie Lottie is offline
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Question Throuples (three-way relationships)

What are peoples experiences with throupling?
This may be a potential for me soon but either way I am craving info, experiences and advice. I can't find much anywhere.
The only hiccup with this potential throupling I may enter into, is that I am in a poly primary partnership and we may invite another woman in who is a little younger than us and completely inexperienced with polyamory, though hesitant yet keen! It is a fairly even situation. She began seeing my partner but now I have become involved and we're crushing.

thanks pals!
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  #2  
Old 10-09-2013, 12:58 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Default Throupling?

Okay, I just can't make myself call it that I can't.
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  #3  
Old 10-09-2013, 01:08 PM
Lottie Lottie is offline
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oh c'mon. Its like supple couple times three. Throuple yes. Throupling, maybe not.
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  #4  
Old 10-09-2013, 01:34 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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good god, I can't use that word, either.

Then again, if you search for triad, you'll find a bunch on this site. That's how I got started as I was trying to find out more information about the triad that I've been (happily) stumbling into. Sounds like you're doing the same - happily crushing on each other. Woo hoo! Enjoy!
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  #5  
Old 10-09-2013, 01:50 PM
Indygirl78 Indygirl78 is offline
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Not a fan of the word myself. But what you are suggesting is a triad where everyone is involved with everyone else, yes?
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  #6  
Old 10-09-2013, 02:43 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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I remember reading somewhere a 'thruple' (agree damn stupid word) was defined as a threesome where everyone joined together at the same or nearly the same time and there was no primary couple previously existing and therefore no couple privilege.

I know it's totally made up but I like that definition. Anyhow what you are thinking of is more commonly referred to as a triad, probably a super bad idea to get involved with your metamour but that never stopped anyone.
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  #7  
Old 10-14-2013, 03:24 AM
peabean peabean is offline
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I realize its all just anecdata to most of you, but I've been a triad for nearly 3 years. It started as the serendipitous type of triad. We are very happy, stable, raising a family etc.

We have absolutely no poly friends, have never been to any poly meetups, and don't know any poly people in real life.

I am the only one of the three of us that bothers to go on poly boards, read poly blogs or listen to polyweekly etc. My husband sometimes reads polyinthemedia. Occasionally I find something particularly interesting and send it to my partners, then they both read and we discuss it.

Although I frequently read this board, I rarely write on it. Truthfully, I realize my poly is not the norm. I can't relate to people with primary/secondary models or solo models. Much in the ways that bisexuals are not accepted in the gay community, triads seem to lack acceptance in the poly community. I feel we've navigated the waters of integrating our family into the everyday world of jobs/childcare/vacations/etc. I'm hesitant to open myself to criticisms from within what most people would consider my natural 'community'.

With that said, I am very interested in providing support and answering questions for people entering relationships like mine. I remember having so many questions, and just researching, researching, and coming up with few answers. I would've loved to have a good long chat with someone in a long term triad during those first months.

So, OP please ask away. Feel free to PM me if you prefer.
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  #8  
Old 10-16-2013, 05:39 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peabean View Post
Much in the ways that bisexuals are not accepted in the gay community, triads seem to lack acceptance in the poly community.
Oh, no, it's not that triads as a configuration are not accepted - it's just the unicorn hunters that get the most shit flung their way because they come with a list of demands and want/expect their dream bi babe to fulfill all their hopes and wishes. And because it does seem that many triads do blow up in the faces of people who purposely sought out someone to fit into the role of "third," that polyfolk will caution those who look for it and bust chops. And then of course there are the very sad but laughable situations where a triad is pursued by a straight MF couple only because the male can't handle the idea of his straight female partner being with another guy, so he makes it a rule that she has to be with a woman, and she does it to make him happy even though she's not attracted sexually to women, or it's the new chick who goes along with having sex with the guy's bi female partner, even though she's straight, just because that's the only way she can be with him. These are pitiful stories we see here again and again.

It's the prescribing of a triad to help a marriage or fill a perceived lack, or whatever, that is pooh-poohed, NOT a triad in and of itself!

Hell yeah, if you are happy and in a triad that came together organically, that is a true success story and we can celebrate it and applaud you for it! Happy for you, Peabean, truly!
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Last edited by nycindie; 10-16-2013 at 05:44 PM.
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  #9  
Old 10-16-2013, 09:30 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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Hey, Peabean, thanks for your post. I have started reading some of your past posts because of you writing in here. It's great for someone like me, stumbling into a situation that I might as well call a triad, to read the stories of those who have gone this path before.

And NYCindie, thanks for the response. I sometimes feel defensive about this whole "triad" thing, mostly because of the vibe you describe. I CERTAINLY wasn't looking for it. (Since when is my monogamous wife interested in another person? Since when is my very straight wife interested in a woman? What alternate universe am I part of, right now?! and how could I not have known how happy we could all be?) But with all the questions, comments, pronouncements, and such, I start second-guessing what feels to me to be pretty normal and relaxed. It's nice to read your clarifications about what pushes people's buttons... thank you.
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  #10  
Old 10-17-2013, 01:45 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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I only have issue with the unicorn hunters.

Heck people who want others to fill a certain role in their lives in general. Instead of allowing relationships to develop naturally. The people who want to saddle some else with rules and regulations in which they get no say.
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