Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-25-2013, 12:35 AM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 65
Default Shot and sweet..this is me.

Hey, everyone! Okay, so I am short. Sweet is, I suppose, up to interpretation.

I've been in poly relationships of various kinds for most of my adult life, though also in some more traditional dyads.

Currently, I am in an "accidental" FMF V.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-25-2013, 05:21 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 5,862
Default

Hello GreenAcres,
Welcome to our forum.

It sounds like you're pretty comfortable wearing your poly shoes, even though you don't have to.

I guess you could say I am in an "accidental" MFM V.

Hope you enjoy your time on your site, have a look around and see what calls to you.

Regards,
Kevin T.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-25-2013, 11:59 AM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 65
Default

Thank you for the welcome, Kevin!

Overall, I am fairly comfortable in the poly life, but I am currently in a very uncomfortable V that I am going to be ending. I posted in the poly relationships thread, but I think it's still in moderation. Short version: totally in love with him, can't deal with her, and have never been comfortable in a polyfi V that is set up this way, especially with the Drama Queen, passive-aggressive metamour. I'm pretty heartbroken about ending it, but it's getting unhealthy for me.

Now I just have to figure out how to end it. I've never had a breakup like this before (it's going to be painful and messy, because he and I are still very in love, very compatible).
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-25-2013, 02:28 PM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 145
Default Clarification

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenAcres View Post
Thank you for the welcome, Kevin!

Overall, I am fairly comfortable in the poly life, but I am currently in a very uncomfortable V that I am going to be ending. I posted in the poly relationships thread, but I think it's still in moderation. Short version: totally in love with him, can't deal with her, and have never been comfortable in a polyfi V that is set up this way, especially with the Drama Queen, passive-aggressive metamour. I'm pretty heartbroken about ending it, but it's getting unhealthy for me.

Now I just have to figure out how to end it. I've never had a breakup like this before (it's going to be painful and messy, because he and I are still very in love, very compatible).
Do you mean that you and she are both dating him? If so, you appear to be referring to breaking him and her up. Usually trying to break up other people's relationships is a bad idea and it's generally not considered acceptable to anyone poly (that's an open relationship, but it's not a poly situation). Or do you mean you are going to break up with him?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-25-2013, 03:47 PM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 65
Default Breaking with him

FC,

He's the hinge. And no, not breaking them up (I would never try to do that to someone else's relationship, regardless of how I felt about the metamour). Breaking up with him. The three of us tried a triad for a while, but it didn't go well. For a variety of reasons, even though I am deeply in love with him, the current functionality of the V is really unhealthy for me, and I need to get out of it. I don't want to break his heart, and I don't want to break mine; but, I don't feel I have a lot of other choices. I've never had a breakup like this before, and I am trying to find the best way to go about it, causing the least amount of pain to all parties involved.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-25-2013, 03:52 PM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 65
Default Of note

They are actually married, not just dating. He would like to marry me, as well (clearly not legally, since it's not recognized in the US; but, in every way possible to make things fair and stable); but, given the rest of the situation, it's not a solution I think is workable long-term. I didn't go into this looking for a V situation, or even a triad. It was all very accidental. Lesson learned.

I don't mind being in a Vee, but I don't like being secondary if it's more than just casual and fun, and I definitely am not okay with the probability that I would stay secondary forever, and I don't like the drama she brings to the Vee, which gets very difficult for me to deal with (there's a lot of scheduling involved since we're on different shifts and work at different places, and her drama directly affects me a lot because of this. He is unwilling to put a stop to it, in part because he has a very hard time understanding why the drama is an issue for me).
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:14 AM.