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  #1  
Old 09-14-2013, 01:40 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Default Holy crap... I have two husbands... when did that happen.

I figured I would try my hand at bloging.. But I warn everyone now my life is pretty boring.

It has been 18 months since Murf came into my life. Today it hit me... I have two husbands. When in the hell did that happen. It was pointed out me today after Murf called me distraught over the brand new bedliner in his truck is peeling not even a week after it was installed and he needed he to handle it. The truck has less than 500 miles on it. I had it taken care of within 30 minutes . Had both the installer and Line x offering solutions immediately .

This evening when talking to Butch he said was my wifely duty...I answered... "What are you talking about. He went to list all the above and beyond things I have done lately for Murf.

I translate the cryptic legalese filled letters from his employer, investment , etc. I help make financial decisions for him. Call and make appointments. Clean his house ,cook..I can go on.

Butch is right I have a second husband. I go to him with everything too along with Butch. His opinion means just as much.

This blog will be a chronicle of my so called poly life.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.

Last edited by Dagferi; 09-14-2013 at 01:46 AM.
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  #2  
Old 09-15-2013, 02:07 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Right now Butch disgusts me.

His work schedule sucks. So does Murf's but Butch's is worse. Only once every 6 weeks do Murf and I get a weekend alone without the kids. Yesterday Butch says oh next weekend I am going out. I asked if it was Thursday. Murf is working that day. He answers with no during the weekend. I remind him I have plans. I get told tough shit.

I do not care if he goes out. I have an issue with the lack of respect for me (an on going issue) and for long standing agreement between Butch and I.

I am so over his passive aggressive bs.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #3  
Old 09-20-2013, 12:09 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Spending the weekend solo with Murf.

Going to enjoy some quality time.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #4  
Old 09-23-2013, 07:33 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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I am at home 1 after a long weekend at home 2 with Murf.

Still feeling a huge disconnect with Butch. I do not know how to fix it. Or if it is fixable. But we are not hostile or fighting so that is good.

My weekend away was a bit of a roller coaster. Murf wanted to get the new engine into his Camaro. It didn't go as planned. But we reconnected after a rough day Friday and my avoiding him Saturday due to his temper which was directed at the car not me. But I have habit of taking little comments he makes too personal . We reconnected though and everything is good.

I admit I miss him already. I am an INTJ personality. I have never been like this over any man. Especially not after 18 months. I usually get bored and move on.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #5  
Old 09-26-2013, 12:55 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Trying to wrap up some menial household chores. Going to go spend the night with Murf after Butch gets home. I won't get there till after midnight but will stay tomorrow until early afternoon.

Tomorrow night I have a shift at the local vet er. Will be nice to work in my field again.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #6  
Old 09-26-2013, 06:55 PM
Cherub Cherub is offline
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Hello Dagferi,

I hope that all is or will soon be going well for you (all) – and especially in the vet er.

If I may so bold as to ask, did your revelation of now having two husbands truly come as a surprise or was this something that you desired or at least considered as a possibility? If not, did you have other expectations where your relationships were headed?

How is the dynamic between your two guys? Do they get along well, have similar personalities, etc?

Is it possible that your husband is in some ways troubled by your time with your new guy and may this be the root of the scheduling complications?

This is a significant aspect that I’m concerned about with my wife’s interest in finding a bf. I truly enjoy her presence and miss her when she’s not there when I return. If she ends up spending “too much” time with her new guy, and I felt neglected or like someone boring and stale, I might respond if in a negative mood by making things more difficult for her to be away or be more withdraw if feeling self-conscious – at least until the time was right to tell her what was really bothering me. I don’t know how your Butch would respond if he had similar feelings, but possibly he might have similar feelings and reactions?

Respectfully,
-Cherub
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  #7  
Old 10-15-2013, 06:17 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Unhappy

This week has been just blah...

Got called into job#2 Sunday to cover for a co worker who injured her leg. So I picked up her shift Sunday and yesterday. Taking yesterday meant not seeing Murf. But unfortunately we need the money for both households. Plus Christmas. Feel guilty about being away from Moose and Squirrel three nights in a row despite the fact they seem fine with it. We do not hide family finances from them.

So I won't get to see Murf until this weekend. I haven't went this long without seeing him in over a year. Feeling out of sorts.

But i love what I do and I am good at it. The hours kind if suck but yet they don't. The kids see me. I get to do homework and feed them dinner every night.

Butch is respecting my boundaries. He is happy with me being bossy. Without bringing in bdsm. I am happy to allow him to take off my shoes and rub my feet and legs after a long shift on my feet. I am hoping this happy compromise is one that lasts. I do love him and enjoy his company.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.

Last edited by Dagferi; 10-15-2013 at 06:19 PM. Reason: damn you autocorrect.
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  #8  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:31 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Home from Murf 's house.

It was a so so weekend. Friday was fine. We spent a quiet evening in had pizza for dinner and the kids watched tv. (We haven't had tv at the other house in 6 months due to finances and the fact the kids really don't need to be glued in front of it.) I slept like the dead but I always do when I am with Murf.

Saturday I lost several hours with Murf Directv was scheduled to come between 12-4. Why Butch scheduled the service call then. I do not know. Especially since he had to leave at 2 for work. Long story short.. they didn't show up. They sent the technician to the wrong address. Then wouldn't talk to me about fixing the mess even though I am Butch 's legal wife. Yet when I helped Murf get it they gave me no issues as the girlfriend.

Today we showed the 1969 Olds 442 at a local car show. I got snuggle time on the couch watching football. Unfortunately the kids and I had to head for home. They have school tomorrow.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #9  
Old 08-20-2014, 11:26 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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What can I say life is pretty good.

I am dead tired a lot lately and life is busy. I recently picked up a second full time job. My only complaint is it cuts into my time with Murf lately. I just need to find a balance and a routine. I love what I do and two households to support.

My marriages are stronger than ever I love both my guys immensely.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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