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Old 01-18-2011, 03:02 PM
detritus's Avatar
detritus detritus is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 34
Default New to poly in Seattle

Hi everyone. I'm a bi woman married to a straight man. We always agreed more with Goldie Hawn's thoughts on marriage ("I wake up every day knowing I can walk out at any moment. It [that knowledge] that keeps things fresh.") but when great health insurance benefits were waved in our faces about 8 months ago we decided to get married. Romantic right?

That same sentiment that our relationship should be a choice we make every single day is part of what made us consider polyamory, although neither of us feels like we are necessarily intrinsically poly and can't have a mono relationship. Since we first started dating five years ago, we regularly talk about crushes we have, flirt with other people, etc. without feeling jealous (even when other people tell us we should feel jealous). So we thought a lot about why our commitment to each other means sexual exclusivity and decided to try opening our relationship about a year and a half ago. My husband had a brief prior experience with poly in a past relationship, but this is all new to me.

Until fairly recently we were just open in theory. Well, kind of. He went on two dates with a woman about a year and a half ago and that fizzled out of it's own accord--but both of us handled it poorly and we decided to do a lot more talking about our expectations and assumptions before trying again. Fast forward to now when it's a lot more real. He has been dating another woman for about 3 weeks, and my emotions are all over the place in ways I never really expected. So I decided to join this board to get some advice and support because I don't feel like there are lot of people IRL I can go to.

Last edited by detritus; 01-18-2011 at 03:03 PM. Reason: clarification
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Old 01-19-2011, 12:25 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,018

Welcome to the Forum.

You're in luck as there's a very active poly scene in Seattle, with several different social groups for mutual support. I'll have to find the information I was sent, and get it online here.

But the Forum is still cool too...and the people on it...even after you get the chance to meet the IRL versions, should you chose.
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

How did I get here & Where am I going?
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Old 01-19-2011, 06:18 AM
detritus's Avatar
detritus detritus is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 34

Thank you! I have several friends who are poly, and though I've never gone to any of the poly groups in town I'm aware of them. Definitely will check out at some point.
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Old 01-19-2011, 05:59 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Clearwater, Fl.
Posts: 907

Oh how I miss Seattle. My wife and I dated another couple there for almost 4 years. Then we moved here to Floriduh. Here, we met another couple who we dated for 3 years, recently broke up with htem, and have been seeing singles since. Not really activly "dating" though.

I miss Seattle so much! LOL But I'll never move back.
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...
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jealousy, new partner

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