Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-29-2009, 12:19 PM
Catfish Catfish is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: America's High Five
Posts: 300
Default new and unsure

Where to begin? My wife and I have recently had some serious discussions about starting a poly life style. We are both excited and unsure, but we're communicating openly and honestly.

It's very reassuring to know that there's a community out there like this one to explore the pitfalls as well as the advantages of opening our hearts and bodies to others.

I have many questions, but first I wanted to introduce myself. So, hello. I'm a 33 year old straight man living in the midwest. I come from a generally conservative background, but I've always been a liberal thinker and open to new ideas. My wife is gorgeous, smart, artistic and loving. I am a pretty lucky guy. Compersion seems natural to me, but I still have lingering fears of becoming jealous when the moment comes.

You are all beautiful and I hope to make some friends here.

Thanks for being who you are,
Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2009, 01:46 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

Welcome to the forum Catfish!

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2009, 03:47 PM
Rarechild's Avatar
Rarechild Rarechild is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: SW Michigan
Posts: 600

My Darling,
Thanks for saying all that and for your bravery and love for me. You are a rare and beautiful phenomenon and I have begun to really revel in revealing myself to you, bare and hopeful, and watching as the stars align and we become fantastically free and full of love.
Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2009, 04:06 PM
Nyx Nyx is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: north america
Posts: 53

Welcome! I am fairly new here as well, though my situation a little different. I am monogamous with a man who is poly. It has been rough, but I'm hopeful.

I just have a question: what made you and your wife decide to have an open relationship?
Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2009, 04:47 PM
Catfish Catfish is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: America's High Five
Posts: 300
Default Well...

Like all good relationships, ours has not been easy. We had some infidelity issues last year that really shook us up. She moved out and, unsure of whether we would stay together, we both started to prepare to live alone. During those months apart, we continued to talk daily and actually grew closer. We became more honest with ourselves and each other. I suppose having divorce on the table as an option made it pointless to try and protect the others feelings, so we really opened up our hearts without fear. And so we began to heal. That honesty lead us here.

We've both considered this lifestyle before. We've both read about it. (Read The Ethical Slut) I even had a conversation many years ago with a girlfriend about it, but neither of us were anywhere near mature enough to handle a healthy open relationship. And to be completely honest, I'm still unsure it's right for us, but I see the advantages and I'm open to explore them as long as we communicate well and both understand what's at stake. I think we do. Time will tell.

Less than a week ago, my wife came to me with this idea. She told me of someone she was interested in and I was immediately jealous, but really impressed that we were talking about it instead of breaking up because of it. I am keenly aware that people can love more than one person at a time, and I wouldn't dream of denying her an experience that would make her life richer. I guess the way I look at it is this... If one of us falls in love with someone else and wants to leave the marriage, it's going to happen whether we are in an open relationship or not. This is a gift of honesty and understanding we can give to each other. I believe it will make our relationship stronger. In fact, it already has.

I hope that answers your question. This is still very new to me (us) so I imagine our views will change as we delve deeper into the possibilities. There are still many hurdles to overcome before this is a real part of our lives. Hopefully, we'll we'll be better people for it.

Best of luck,
Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2009, 04:48 PM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 369

Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2009, 06:44 PM
foxflame88's Avatar
foxflame88 foxflame88 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Birmingham, AL, USA
Posts: 582

Welcome to the group!
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. ~Woody Allen
Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2009, 05:16 PM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 346

Welcome, I think you'll find lots of great support from many happy to help people here.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 12:06 PM.