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  #1  
Old 09-02-2013, 08:43 PM
polywannacrackeryo polywannacrackeryo is offline
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Default Gifting a book about polyamory: good or bad idea?

I'm in a V with a married couple, and all of us are new to poly. I've been reading "The Ethical Slut", and it's incredible. It's really helping me to alleviate some of my fears and insecurities. Today, while at the bookstore, I found a copy of "Open", by Jenny Block, which is written from the perspective of the married woman in a V. I bought it, thinking it would be perfect for my girlfriend. But I'm now wondering... is it presumptuous of me to think she may want/need to read this book, that is technically categorized as "self-help"?
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:03 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polywannacrackeryo View Post
I'm in a V with a married couple, and all of us are new to poly. I've been reading "The Ethical Slut", and it's incredible. It's really helping me to alleviate some of my fears and insecurities. Today, while at the bookstore, I found a copy of "Open", by Jenny Block, which is written from the perspective of the married woman in a V. I bought it, thinking it would be perfect for my girlfriend. But I'm now wondering... is it presumptuous of me to think she may want/need to read this book, that is technically categorized as "self-help"?
There is no way for us to know that. My wife and gf love books like that, don't view them as self help and just simply for outside reference. They wouldn't think I was trying to "help" them.

I know others who would make that assumption. Only you can answer this question imo.
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Old 09-02-2013, 11:35 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I've read 'Open' and it is not really a self-help book. It's an account of one woman's journey into open marriage and eventually poly. One can learn things from it of course but it's more memoir than 'how to'. I enjoyed it.
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Old 09-03-2013, 12:11 AM
polywannacrackeryo polywannacrackeryo is offline
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Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
I've read 'Open' and it is not really a self-help book. It's an account of one woman's journey into open marriage and eventually poly. One can learn things from it of course but it's more memoir than 'how to'. I enjoyed it.
Thanks a lot! I read the introduction, and I thought it would be perfect for her. Although, our relationship is really new, and I'm not sure if she feels the need to research and analyze everything like I do. Haha!
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Old 09-03-2013, 12:18 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Could return the book and change it for a bookstore gift card.

Then give it with a card telling her how much you love "Ethical Slut", were interested in "Open" and had a nice time at the store. So here's a gift card if she wants a copy of those, or any other book she might enjoy on you so she can have a nice time at the store too. Yay books!

Unless on a wishlist, I wouldn't gift self help books to people. Some people enjoy that, some do not. Seems easier to just let them pick their own reading material.

Galagirl
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Old 09-03-2013, 12:31 AM
polywannacrackeryo polywannacrackeryo is offline
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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Unless on a wishlist, I wouldn't gift self help books to people.
After some thinking, I'm pretty sure I agree. As the person above said, it's technically a memoir. Would that change your mind at all? I'm still undecided. Maybe I should just read it and then recommend it as something she might enjoy?
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