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Old 08-19-2013, 08:46 PM
northhome northhome is offline
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Default BBC: How does a polyamorous relationship between four people work?

Monogamy and the Rules of Love will be broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on Monday 19 August at 20:00 BST

Article: How does a polyamorous relationship between four people work?
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:05 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Good article, at least that makes up a bit for that hatchet job that they wrote the last time.
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:16 AM
northhome northhome is offline
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Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Good article, at least that makes up a bit for that hatchet job that they wrote the last time.
Indeed.

"And every time you out yourself, you risk losing a friend," adds Charlie. "I'm preparing for 30 years of being made fun of."

He's a realist - nice.
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:17 AM
london london is offline
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I didn't like the implication that vetos and the like are what makes this poly thing work.
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:22 AM
northhome northhome is offline
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I didn't like the implication that vetos and the like are what makes this poly thing work.
I didn't read it that way. The quad indicated that a veto agreement was THEIR setup, but I didn't see it generalised to all poly relationships.

The counsellor was quoted as saying:

"You can live in a monogamous institution and you can negotiate monotony, or you can live in a non-monogamous choice and negotiate jealousy. Pick your evil.

"If you are opening it up you have to contend with the fact that you're not the only one, and if you are not opening it up then you have to contend with the fact that your partner is the only one."

which I feel was a reasonable thing to say as a general poly observation. That didn't imply a veto I think.
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:46 AM
london london is offline
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The way I see it is this: the title says "How does a polyamorous relationship between four people work?". Okay, so this article is going to tell us how a poly relationship works, right? They then go on to say:
Quote:
If any of the four want to get involved with someone else, they have to run it by the others - all of whom have a veto.
It just seems as if it is this veto that protects the people involved. I'd have preferred if they explained that a veto is something they do, they need, as with the permission to date other people rule they have is. It isn't something that people need to have successful poly relationships. I just think to the layman, it would appear that it is the veto that keeps this running smoothly.
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