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  #1  
Old 07-24-2013, 04:15 AM
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dmaustjr dmaustjr is offline
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Default Poly in Comedy

Hello friends,
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I don't see any better place so... I am a comedian and I am in a polyamorous relationship. Like many comedians I take my life experiences and turn them into humor for others to enjoy. Likewise I talk about subjects that are considered hot button or "taboo". As I'm sure many of you know comedians often make light of a serious subject to make people see how ridiculous the mainstream "popular" view is.

I am writing some material on my poly life and I would like to ask for some help from the poly community on what specific points should be addressed. If you had just 5-10 minutes a night to tell a captive audience of a few hundred people the most important things about the poly lifestyle and how ridiculous it is that it is so negatively viewed in our society, what would you tell them?

I'll start... for me the key points are that being poly is all about loving everyone and just as I don't have limits on how many of my children I can love, I don't limit myself in the adults I can love either. Second, how everyone has to deal with jealousy issues, but much of why most of us feel the way we do is simply because we were raised to feel and believe that if someone is with another person it means something negative about ourselves, which is not reality.

What I don't want to get into is compersion, except for maybe in passing to note that it exists. I believe it is an advanced topic that to dive too deep into would cause me to lose the audience. I also don't want to get caught up in the minutia of the different flavors of poly (polyfi, polygamy, etc etc.) for the same reason.

Any ideas about how to approach the subject from different perspectives, religious or otherwise would be especially welcomed.

Already, just in typing this up and thinking this over while rereading my notes a few times has helped.

Thank you,
Dennis Aust
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  #2  
Old 07-24-2013, 05:46 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Are you asking people to write your material for you? Are you offering compensation?
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Old 07-24-2013, 06:00 AM
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dmaustjr dmaustjr is offline
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I think I was pretty clear about what I was asking for.

What is important to the poly community and it's members in the message to be delivered to outsiders.

I will write the material that will then make it funny.
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Old 07-24-2013, 10:11 AM
TRBG TRBG is offline
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Speaking as someone who's also done a bit of comedy I have to ask what open mic or showcase are you playing that gets "a few hundred" in the audience?
I found your clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzC9hlnYxHc). With all due respect you really do need to work on writing your own material. Just keep writing and bouncing ideas off your friends, it'll formulate.
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Old 07-24-2013, 02:18 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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You're a guy. Write jokes about your dick. That usually works.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #6  
Old 07-24-2013, 03:45 PM
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dmaustjr dmaustjr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
You're a guy. Write jokes about your dick. That usually works.
LOL, Thank you Cindie.

I do have some jokes about my dick and they go over huge at the shows. Okay, maybe not huge, but big. ;-)

I'm sure there will be one or two in my poly material as well.

Dennis
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Old 07-24-2013, 04:11 PM
london london is offline
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this guy told me recently that in Israel, where he lives, his friends saw his wife out with another man. they staged this intervention type thing where they broke the terrible news that his wife was cheating on him. He then had to explain to them that they have a poly relationship and it's fine. They eventually accepted this, or so he thought, until his best friend phoned him in tears saying that he knows he made that up on the spot to save face and that he is here when he is ready to talk.

Another funny thing I have heard was that a guy was chilling with a regular date at his house, she was browsing his fridge and came across some leftover Shepherds pie which she asked if she could eat. Now the guy, being a guy perhaps, didn't think about this before telling her to go ahead. After, she commented on how delicious it was and asked if he had cooked it, to which he replied that no, his other partner had (obviously the poly part was all in the open from the get go) and she totally freaked out and acted as if she had been poisoned.
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Old 07-24-2013, 03:40 PM
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dmaustjr dmaustjr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRBG View Post
Speaking as someone who's also done a bit of comedy I have to ask what open mic or showcase are you playing that gets "a few hundred" in the audience?
I found your clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzC9hlnYxHc). With all due respect you really do need to work on writing your own material. Just keep writing and bouncing ideas off your friends, it'll formulate.
Wow!! So far 2 out of 3 replies have been more criticism than help.

1st of all you grabbed a video from a showcase where almost my entire set was brand new material. Props to you for looking me up. I tried to look you up too, but apparently you are too good to post your real name. You won't find videos of my polished material. I don't publish those videos for anyone searching to find. I suppose you probably feel the same way as well which is why you didn't bother to pose a link to a video from one of your sets. Find a bootlegged video of even big named comics such as Patton Oswalt and the likes, trying out brand new material in front of an audience. It's not pretty. As someone who's done a "bit of comedy" I would expect you would already know that. As well, I would expect you to know that this IS working on writing my own material.

I perform primarily at 3 different clubs in AZ. One seats about 80, one about 100 and the other seats 550. At the one I do shows at that seats 100 I sometimes do two shows in a night. The smaller venues are usually range from very close to sold out to standing room only. The larger venue usually gets 200-350. While generally my talent level is that of an opener, I have featured a couple of times. So, no, I'm not yet headlining clubs across the US, but frankly, some of the "open-mics" in the Phoenix area get more support than most comedy shows throughout the rest of the US.

Frankly, I'm not sure why my talent and credibility are in question here. I merely asked for input from the poly community about the message people here would like to see delivered. Obviously, I didn't need to ask for the opinions of the community as I have clearly outlined what I thought was and wasn't key. If you're not interested in stating your opinion about those points or simply agreeing or disagreeing with my outlined points feel free to move on without comment.

I generally do not even bother to respond to these kinds of statements, but I feel that was over the top and needed to be addressed.

If you have any further non-productive, albeit respectfully due, comments you would like to share with me, TRBG, please feel free to send them to me via a private message. I will gladly entertain them there, but I would really prefer to keep this thread from getting bogged down with questions and concerns about me.

Thank you.
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  #9  
Old 07-27-2013, 02:51 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dmaustjr View Post
Hello friends,
Hello back at ya!

Quote:
Originally Posted by dmaustjr View Post
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I don't see any better place so...
Actually, I think this is a great place to post this. We usually think of "media" in terms of "news media" or "social media" but art and entertainment "media" would apply as well. There are actually organizations that are trying to "get the word out" about poly/poly rights. You might want to check out the Polyamory Leadership Network for more people interested in discussing this. (Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with or particular knowledge of this group - I'm pretty much a anti-social non-joiner - but some folks are into this sort of thing.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by dmaustjr View Post
I am a comedian and I am in a polyamorous relationship. Like many comedians I take my life experiences and turn them into humor for others to enjoy. Likewise I talk about subjects that are considered hot button or "taboo". As I'm sure many of you know comedians often make light of a serious subject to make people see how ridiculous the mainstream "popular" view is.
Nice job - using art and entertainment to inform and educate people about topics that they may have a strong (negative) reaction to in another setting. Hard to maintain "righteous indignation" when you are laughing your ass off.


Quote:
Originally Posted by dmaustjr View Post
I am writing some material on my poly life and I would like to ask for some help from the poly community on what specific points should be addressed. If you had just 5-10 minutes a night to tell a captive audience of a few hundred people the most important things about the poly lifestyle and how ridiculous it is that it is so negatively viewed in our society, what would you tell them?
For me - I agree with your key points about explaining what poly means IN a poly relationship (not limiting love, regular issues with jealousy, etc.) - and yes, definitely leave the details about configurations and compersion to an audience that would appreciate that (say you do a routine at a poly Meet-Up or whatnot). But I would want to avoid the impression that you are trying to "convert" people to try poly for themselves (think of the reaction people have to the mythical "Gay Agenda")

My focus would be on a.) just exposing people to the fact that poly exists - and that poly DOESN'T = tyrannical, religious, child-marriage, forced polygamy b.) suggesting what they might DO with this new-found information - namely talking about it and being tolerant of it if they discover it in the world around them.

So - you tell your funny stories, you make them laugh, you let them see that poly people aren't evil monsters that want to steal their children - and most people leave the show thinking "Wow, that is SO not for me, but...whatever...why would I care how other people run their relationships? That's one funny, nice dude." Subtext - just because someone is gay/poly/kinky whatever - doesn't mean that they automatically want to do that with YOU - who cares if they do it with each other. Tolerance, man. Live and let live. (The people who hear you and might be interested in the concept for themselves now have a word that they can Google and find resources for themselves.)

Hope that was along the lines of what you were looking for.

JaneQ
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MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (22+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
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Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 07-27-2013 at 02:54 AM.
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  #10  
Old 07-29-2013, 09:20 PM
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dmaustjr dmaustjr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
Hello back at ya!

*snip*

Hope that was along the lines of what you were looking for.

JaneQ
Thank you JaneQ!! Yes, this is exactly the type of feedback I was hoping to get!!

I already have a line written out that states I don't think poly is for everyone but you make a few good points that I hadn't considered and will certainly address.

Very awesome, and much appreciated.

Dennis
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