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  #1  
Old 06-19-2013, 07:10 PM
MZTERY MZTERY is offline
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Default Desperately seeking guidance

Hello everyone it has been awhile since my last post and I have a very serious concern/question. I am having trouble being satisfied intimately with my primary partner . Now the thing is also I am not HIS primary. To him I am equal to the rest of his partners. I respect that and appreciate his honesty with this whole relationship but I feel that his is interrupting my "mojo" with him. I use to feel complete with him. Our sex life was always great! I never had a complaint to this magnitude and am frustrated and very sad To add he has expressed wanting to have children with each of them and we already have two of our own. We were technically not "living" together for a long stretch of time (that is when he made his other connections when he kept telling ME he was working on OUR future) but anyway! LOL and now my kids have their father, a big beautiful home, everything runs pretty smooth for the household but I am afraid that as my relationship hurts because of our status my children will eventually hurt too because of the kids and the husrt going around them! I don't want to hurt my children and I don't want to feel used! (sorry i brought up two topics in one, let me stick to my initial concern) Sex is more about unity, love, and feeling as one together, atleast to me it always has been and I don't feel connected like that anymore. Our relationship use to feel so sweet and now I feel like an obligation. I actually feel like HE feels obligated with each of us and that makes me sad for him and each of us. I don't thinkbringing more kids to the equation is a good idea at the moment and I feel no one is really prepared for the HUGE change that that will bring! My relationship with him just HIM is not the same. I get along with the girls fine I find them each very attractive and as people I think they are great intelligent sould that have much to offer the world. I am grateful, although sad at times, that he has them because they have made him happy. I am sad because I feel I could be the "perfect" woman for HIM and I am restricted to love and act the way I want. I have told him about my sexual frustration with im and that I have even wanted to have sex with the girls too which has also frustrated me! We hae participated all together once and from what I hear the two girls have been together on their own as well. The girls shared a "relationship" for some time so I feel that helps contribute to their closeness more and even more with him because they have all shared a roof longer and more consecutive than I have. I ahve also spoken to the one girl about all this that I feel more comfortable with speaking to. I have received positive feedback verbally but actions definitely speak volumes! Having sex with him feels like its on a schedule and I don't like that. I want to be able to do IT whenever wherever I want and especially in OUR bedroom which WE barely EVER get to do!! They I AM SURE take advantage of the fact that my work hours are on times that they each have alone time with him sooooo they get to do it wherever however and that pisses me OFF! UGH! I dont want to feel this sh*t anymore I want to fulfill my own desires somehow but am so lost and confused as to how I know I am blabbering but I am just letting it all out and I am praying to hear as many pieces of advice as possible! Thank you for your time. God Bless! Namaste to all
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  #2  
Old 06-19-2013, 07:32 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MZTERY View Post
Hello everyone it has been awhile since my last post and I have a very serious concern/question. I am having trouble being satisfied intimately with my primary partner . Now the thing is also I am not HIS primary. To him I am equal to the rest of his partners. I respect that and appreciate his honesty with this whole relationship but I feel that his is interrupting my "mojo" with him. I use to feel complete with him. Our sex life was always great! I never had a complaint to this magnitude and am frustrated and very sad To add he has expressed wanting to have children with each of them and we already have two of our own. We were technically not "living" together for a long stretch of time (that is when he made his other connections when he kept telling ME he was working on OUR future) but anyway! LOL and now my kids have their father, a big beautiful home, everything runs pretty smooth for the household but I am afraid that as my relationship hurts because of our status my children will eventually hurt too because of the kids and the husrt going around them! I don't want to hurt my children and I don't want to feel used! (sorry i brought up two topics in one, let me stick to my initial concern) Sex is more about unity, love, and feeling as one together, atleast to me it always has been and I don't feel connected like that anymore. Our relationship use to feel so sweet and now I feel like an obligation. I actually feel like HE feels obligated with each of us and that makes me sad for him and each of us. I don't thinkbringing more kids to the equation is a good idea at the moment and I feel no one is really prepared for the HUGE change that that will bring! My relationship with him just HIM is not the same. I get along with the girls fine I find them each very attractive and as people I think they are great intelligent sould that have much to offer the world. I am grateful, although sad at times, that he has them because they have made him happy. I am sad because I feel I could be the "perfect" woman for HIM and I am restricted to love and act the way I want. I have told him about my sexual frustration with im and that I have even wanted to have sex with the girls too which has also frustrated me! We hae participated all together once and from what I hear the two girls have been together on their own as well. The girls shared a "relationship" for some time so I feel that helps contribute to their closeness more and even more with him because they have all shared a roof longer and more consecutive than I have. I ahve also spoken to the one girl about all this that I feel more comfortable with speaking to. I have received positive feedback verbally but actions definitely speak volumes! Having sex with him feels like its on a schedule and I don't like that. I want to be able to do IT whenever wherever I want and especially in OUR bedroom which WE barely EVER get to do!! They I AM SURE take advantage of the fact that my work hours are on times that they each have alone time with him sooooo they get to do it wherever however and that pisses me OFF! UGH! I dont want to feel this sh*t anymore I want to fulfill my own desires somehow but am so lost and confused as to how I know I am blabbering but I am just letting it all out and I am praying to hear as many pieces of advice as possible! Thank you for your time. God Bless! Namaste to all
I made it about half way through this wall and just couldn't follow it any more. What is the short version? The one where you press "enter" every now and then...
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  #3  
Old 06-19-2013, 07:38 PM
MZTERY MZTERY is offline
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Default Desperately seeking guidance

Well short and sweet LOL...not really..the whole thing is my story...but I know you MEN like to get to the point SOOoo I am sexually frustrated, LACKING INTIMACY (IGNORE THE CAPS I CAN'T REMOVE THEM AT THIS MOMENT) AND I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE KIDS. MOST IMP I WOULD SAY IS OUR RELATIONSHIP GETTING TO A COMPLETE UNISON WHICH I DON'T FEEL IS THAT WAY. IT IS LIKE EACH GIRL WANTS A SEPARATE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND EVEN THOUGH OTHER WISE IS BEING SAID I DON'T FEEL IT NOR SEE IT. IF IT IS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK THOUGH READING THE FULL LAST POST WOULD REALLY BE MORE HELPFUL AS IT IS PURE THOUGHT PROCESSS AT WORK AND TRULY MY IN DEPTH FEELINGS
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  #4  
Old 06-19-2013, 07:42 PM
MZTERY MZTERY is offline
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Default How do you create your own posts/threads

i FORGOT HOW I DID THIS THE FIRST TIME??? PLEASE HELP THANK YOU
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  #5  
Old 06-19-2013, 07:49 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by MZTERY View Post
i FORGOT HOW I DID THIS THE FIRST TIME??? PLEASE HELP THANK YOU
How about we make a deal. You turn off caps lock and use paragraph breaks, and in return we'll teach you the complicated process of starting your own thread. That sounds fair.
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  #6  
Old 06-19-2013, 08:05 PM
MZTERY MZTERY is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 17
Default How do you create your own posts/threads

OK sounds fair! thank you I get the paragraph and "enter" comments now!! LOL I am so sorry I just get so into what I am saying I don't stop writing....not even to hit enter.. I am not trying to be gramatically correct or even trying to make what I am saying any easier for anyone to read. I am simply expressing my thoughts and am hoping for kind hearted, open minded souls to take interest in my topic to care enough to read and help me out someway.

I don't meant o sound rude either I am just speaking truth, but I will do my very best to be clearer as you both are right. It makes it so much easier and clearer to understand.

Last edited by MZTERY; 06-19-2013 at 08:10 PM.
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  #7  
Old 06-19-2013, 08:05 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Do not thread Jack...
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #8  
Old 06-21-2013, 04:45 PM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
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Hmmmm. Looks like you're a monogamous type, who feels she must share him in order to have him at all. Which sounds about right for the situation. However, the other girls seem to be much more poly, enjoy time together, with him, are okay with him being with you.... Guess you have to find out for yourself if he's really worth the share. Because in their minds, they're likely not sharing HIM....they're all sharing each other.
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  #9  
Old 06-21-2013, 08:45 PM
MZTERY MZTERY is offline
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Thank you Flowerchild. I read your story and I totally understand what you are feeling. And I also do enjoy their company I am really just trying to get this to work better for all of us. It has been very difficult realizing allt he things I have realized , but at the ame time relieving. I know that the reason why I am not having any "fun" is because I'm NOT having any fun...I am not pursuing the relationship as it should to become what it really is meant to be. I am starting to truly feel that once I take action on the things that will fill me then things will be different and better. I hope I am right!
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