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Old 05-22-2013, 12:00 PM
LadySFI LadySFI is offline
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Default Handling Kids

I have an 8 year old son and am currently in a V relationship. We all get along well, and whenever my husband and son are in town (I am a student that lives almost 5 hours away from him) we all spend time together. This is a new relationship, just shy of 2 months (the husband, 13 years).
However, I spend more time with the boyfriend than the husband because of proximity. Both of the guys get along great too. I am not sure what this is going to develop into over time and don't know how to handle our situation with my son around. How do others with kids work it out?
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:24 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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I have an 8 year old and a 6 year old. I just live my life around them. Honestly they don't care at all what the grown ups do. If your son asks you questions answer him honestly. You are his parents, however you live your life will be his normal.
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:33 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Only the 14 year old knows. The other kids don't pay attention. 14 year old was like "if you're fixed why do you buy condoms?" Lol duh
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Old 05-22-2013, 03:46 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Have you done any searches for past posts? You can do an Advanced Search or a Tag Search and find a wealth of information. There is a very long thread here about children and polyamory. Lots of insights and experiences shared there: Children and Polyamory
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Old 05-22-2013, 05:21 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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My kids are 10 and 6. They just do their normal kid things.

They met Murf after we had been together 6 months. They didn't even bat an eye. Murf goes along to the kids events like sports and school functions. The kids introduce Butch as Dad and Murf as my Mom boyfriend. The way the current world works no one bats an eye. I an sure people assume Butch and I are divorced.

My kids spend holidays and etc with Murfs family after we celebrate here at the house. Butch and my closest family is 10+ hours away. Butch usually has to work most holidays anyway.
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Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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Old 05-22-2013, 06:41 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
"if you're fixed why do you buy condoms?" Lol duh
What an awesome question!

Kids will let you know when they are ready for something because they'll show interest. They don't need to be spoon fed reality - unless the goals is to raise them to be dependent on us.

Live your life, let them live theirs, answer their questions when they ask them.
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Old 05-22-2013, 09:39 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Just gonna add a ditto. Kids are self-absorbed, they care about how adults treat them, not about the nuances of the connections between those adults that don't pertain to them. I've read a number of accounts of kids raised in poly families, and it doesn't seem to bother them, with the exception of parents who start doing poly when their kids are teens and have already formed their values, in which case I've heard of a story or two where a kid was very offended and judgmental. Its like kids raised by gay parents. It may not be the norm to the rest of society, but to them it's normal, versus if you come out as gay to them when they're mostly grown, you can't necessarily predict their reaction.
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Old 05-23-2013, 12:39 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Mostly we just live our life.
The one caveat is that our youngest daughter (21, 17, 13, 6) gets emotionally attached very easily.
So we have an agreement that new POTENTIALS don't meet the kids. Only at the point where someone becomes a serious prospect does that happen.
This agreement came after 2 of Maca's potentials turned into disasters. The resulting emotional turmoil of our daughter (they were both kind to the kids) wasn't worth it for us. Much easier to just wait until we know someone is at least going to be around as a friend before letting the kids meet them.
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