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Old 04-26-2013, 10:41 AM
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leelee22 leelee22 is offline
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Default Is NRE "a girl thing"?

I've been reading (sympathetically!!) some of AnnabelMore's posts about her lover Clay and how much she misses him and had to look up the term NRE -- what a smart term, and what a good way to acknowledge the relative value of the kinds of feelings we have in new AND established relationships-- but it led me to wonder, do men really feel the more challenging side of NRE, or is it a "girl thing"?

Thinking about all my relationships all the way back to high school, I can't remember a lover of mine ever admitting to me that he felt that kind of painful obsession/distraction/desperation at the beginning of a relationship.

I DO remember, of course, some boyfriends whining about having to wait to get together, but it was always from a perspective of "I'm so horny, I might actually DIE". Whereas what annabel describes (and what I know I've experienced, too) is not strictly a sexual thing... more like... "If I could just have ONE hug, and smell his smell, I think I could get through my day".

And I've had boyfriends suddenly get sort of obsessed at a point months or years into the relationship... as though the powerful attachment feelings that seem to come to us women right away (when we find the right guy) take, instead, months or years to develop in a man.

What do you think, guys? Is NRE a girl thing?
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Old 04-26-2013, 01:16 PM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leelee22 View Post
... that kind of painful obsession/distraction/desperation at the beginning of a relationship.
That sounds more like Limerance than NRE. Does contain a lot of uncertainty of the "does he like me or does he like like me?" variety? Does it go away somewhat after "I love you"s have been exchanged?

Here's a table with some points of comparison.
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:30 PM
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NutBusterX NutBusterX is offline
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Hi Leelee,
I can't say in absolute terms that all guys get feelings of NRE, but I can very much attest to the fact that at least some or maybe even many do.

I will however admit that I ( a guy ) am quite prone to be affected by the ever wonderful and tricky NRE bug.
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:39 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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I think everyone GETS NRE to some extent, but different people express/handle it differently. I don't think it's a man vs. woman issue.
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Old 04-26-2013, 04:33 PM
Octopus Octopus is offline
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I don't really think anything is a biological man vs. woman issue.
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Old 04-26-2013, 05:08 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
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Default Definitely Not Gender Related.

I have watched men fall catastrophically in love with me, with other women, and with other men. Same goes for the ladies. In some ways I feel like it has to do with the strength of both psychological and biochemistry, and others wil how prime/ripe people are for having a romantic experience. Also, having NRE for the first time in years/decades can totally catch a human being by surprise.

Last edited by CherryBlossomGirl; 04-26-2013 at 05:10 PM.
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