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Old 04-25-2013, 11:03 PM
Rix Rix is offline
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Default Gentlemen, should I be concerned?

Long story short, my husband finally had intercourse with our new (and first) girlfriend, and now he seems to be having a bit of trouble getting as excited with me as he used to when it's just me and him. But he can get hard at just the sight of her. I am not too worried about my own satisfaction in this case, just worried about him because it seems to be upsetting him. He's always had a drive to match my own, and he assures me his attraction for me hasn't faded and that he's just excited about having a new partner. Does this happen sometimes with NRE?
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Old 04-25-2013, 11:57 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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I think NRE is the most likely explanation. Everyone is different, so what shakes things up for one guy might not affect another.

There are things you can do to compensate, include meds such as Viagara or Cialis. It is nothing to panic over, it is just a change of circumstances.
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Old 04-26-2013, 01:19 AM
RunicWolf RunicWolf is offline
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As a male who this has happened to on occasion I can say it's nothing to worry about. Best way to describe, from my own experience, is that it's like his penis has a shiny new toy and wants to play with it, but after a few weeks or a month or so the feeling of newness fades and everything goes back to normal. If he is like me, he'll have more sex drive for both of you once things settle down.

I'd say give him some time and it should sort itself out.
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Old 04-26-2013, 03:12 AM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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If you aren't concerned the just make sure he knows you are not worried. I had a bad experience with a woman who was NOT okay with her man having NRE and getting it up easier with me than with her. There was lots of catty behavior and hurtful underhanded things going on and I was left confused since I had no idea it was even an issue! He might be concerned about secret jealousies and issues arriving because of it.

I can understand even that there are times people's libido waxes and wanes and sometimes while it's waning with me, it might be waxing elsewhere! As long as it's not a purposeful ignore, it should be fine! I remember being horndogs in the beginning of our sexual relationship, I think that's natural for most people!
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Old 04-26-2013, 07:49 AM
Rix Rix is offline
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Thank you, everyone! I just wanted to see if this was a common enough thing. I really have no issues with it and he was only slightly upset because his body is not doing what he wants it to do when he wants. Our solution? Just have all three of us together as much as we're comfortable with. Simple, effective, and fun for all of us!
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:21 PM
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NutBusterX NutBusterX is offline
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Hi Rix,
I'm Jim. He may be struggling (unknowingly) with some backward feelings of guilt over having another partner. I'm not saying he feels that it's wrong, and from what you've written here it appears you are ok (supportive even) with the other partner. If previously he has always been mono, (or tried) and this is new to him, his body might be exhibiting symptoms brought on by his former taboos. Just a possibility and I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Best of wishes to all of you
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:34 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rix View Post
Thank you, everyone! I just wanted to see if this was a common enough thing. I really have no issues with it and he was only slightly upset because his body is not doing what he wants it to do when he wants. Our solution? Just have all three of us together as much as we're comfortable with. Simple, effective, and fun for all of us!
Wait, so you're saying he doesn't get hard? I originally took "excited" to mean "interested" or "enthusiastic". You were using "excited" as a euphemism for getting an erection.

If he is actually INTERESTED and ENTHUSIASTIC (mentally) and WANTS to please you when it's just the two of you, why not just quit focusing on the almighty penis? There are plenty of other body parts you can do penetration with (well, 2 hands, 2 feet, 10 fingers...), if that's something you need in order to feel satisfied that you'd "had sex". You can also use toys, you can masturbate yourself to orgasm while he watches, you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT - it's YOUR sex.

It makes me really sad when people, men and women, equate "having sex" with erect penises. If you are thinking that, please try to use this as a learning experience to try new things you might be missing out on.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 04-26-2013 at 08:37 PM.
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