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Old 12-26-2010, 05:50 PM
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Default fluid bonding/bareback

What are your stories of being fluid bonded? What do you think the best way of handling the transition is in terms of other lovers concerns, testing, boundaries? What does fluid bonding mean to you and what does it indicate within your relationship?
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Old 12-26-2010, 06:04 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
What are your stories of being fluid bonded? What do you think the best way of handling the transition is in terms of other lovers concerns, testing, boundaries? What does fluid bonding mean to you and what does it indicate within your relationship?
Fluid bonding is pretty critical to us. Lacking it just takes soooooooo much away. For us it's both erotic and intimate which is something we desire in a lover. Actually, it's literally a fetish for us.

We admittedly are more fortunate than many, so we have a bit of luxury in establishing it. Our circle, or network, predominately consists of people who's sexual travels are somewhat more limited, both geographically and culturally. A less risky environment shall we say. However, it's something we get into VERY explicit discussions over right on day one and take what we feel are appropriate precautions. It's worked for us. Never so much as an externally sourced yeast infection yet ! Of course, as I say, were we in a different culture or area, this would likely have to change.
But we need all that fluid ! Bask & bathe in it

GS
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Old 12-26-2010, 07:29 PM
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I am really interested in reading others' posts about this. When I started becoming sexual, as a young woman before AIDS and HIV were concerns, I always loved the "sticky" aspect of sex -- all our fluids intermingling on our bodies, tasting, touching -- such a turn-on! Then, during the late 80s and '90s, before I was married, condoms were such the norm and understood to be a requirement, not something to balk at. I didn't like it as much but really never had a problem with anyone not wanting to wear one, or keeping their hard-on. Recently, however, I am finding it odd that two men I've been with have been reluctant to wear them (but they did), and going a bit soft when it went on. I would think guys would be used to it by now, and would want to be more vigilant, with everything we know nowadays. Of course, I'm solo and just starting off in these relationships. So, I'm curious how it is handled when you transition to fluid-bonded status. I understand there must be a huge amount of trust involved. And reliable birth control. Sorry, I think I'm rambling a bit.
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Old 12-26-2010, 09:03 PM
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Condoms were never a big part of my life and never one that I liked. Keep in mind I was only with one sexual partner from the age of 19 to 36. I find condoms adversely affect my erection and make it near impossible to orgasm. I also find it more connecting and spiritual to fill my partner when I cum.
Now the other way.... As far as not being fluid bonded with respect to my partner's fluids I am a very oral person. One of the biggest turn ons for me is consuming my partner's excitemnt...juices are everything...more the merrier!
The idea of licking/sucking on a dental damn sounds more frustrating than fun.

I would be very disapointed if I had to take a break from fluid bonding. I don't have sex just for the sake of it.....I'd probably just wait until we could resume fluid bonding.

There is also the aspect of spontaneous sex. I will do it anywhere any time (except in group settings LOL) and can't iimagine needing a condom for everytime I get to penetrate my partner being very easy....or financially wise
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Old 12-26-2010, 09:49 PM
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I didn't know what it is to fluid bond until I met Mono. Except with women that is. All my partners wore condoms. PN and I have always used condoms. I have never been on the pill (which is why old boyfriends wore condoms) and he doesn't want to get snipped, so we carry on perfectly happily. I don't want his cum in me actually. He goes down on me though and trusts that I keep myself healthy. I don't give him blow jobs. Only Mono.

We talk about it in depth at our house as PN is ultra concerned. Its a topic again now that Derby's husband has a girlfriend that is dating a guy who is intimate with quite a few people in our community. The chances of the trickle down of any sexually transmitted issues are rare to nil, but we do talk about this kind of thing anyways. Its important to be aware and tested often just in case. Better to be overly cautious (which reminds me, testing time coming up again soon I think). Some might find it paranoid, but whatever, each to their own. The more we talk about this sticky stuff the better I think. I don't think safe sex is talked about or considered enough actually. I suspect that quite a few people don't engage in safe sex as often as is expected or safe because condoms are not a real turn on for most guys. I too find it surprisingly surprising the lack of acceptance and knowledge.
Mono and I are very fluid bonded. Its important to us and creates a huge amount of closeness and connection. It is indeed a kink for us too. Its actually a large part of why I am fine with restricting my sexual activity to those in my life now. The thought of losing that far outweighs the thrill of new sexual conquests. It just has not been worth it to me. Fluid bonding is a huge reason for me to be poly fi sexually and carry out asexual relationships out side of that.
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:45 AM
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I think fluid bonding is important to me. I think both partners feel it a lot better and it brings them closer at the same time. It's good to get checked for diseases before you go into a sexual relationship with someone. Saying that, I haven't done so yet. But if ever asked to do so, I would do it without even a second thought. There are plenty of perfectly working birth controls better than a condom, so that should never come up as a problem.
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Old 06-22-2013, 01:49 PM
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N is the only man I would go barrier free with. I'm not on birth control, will nit be getting on birth control so bareback isn't even an option for me. I'd honestly rather not have anyone ejaculate inside of me, it really grosses me out to be honest.

N and J go barrier free but both use condoms with all other lovers. N got a vasectomy last year because he doesn't want anymore kids.
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Old 06-23-2013, 12:37 AM
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Rude is talking with food in your mouth or watching Youtube videos on the bus without headphones. Making decisions about whom and how you allow access to your body isn't on the same plane as rude and polite.

I would question anyone's motives who claims it's "rude" not to let them have some special kind of access to your body.

Never mind fair or rude or what this person or that person wants. It's your body. What do YOU want?
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Old 06-23-2013, 01:18 AM
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Rude isn't a term I would apply to deciding who I allow to have any given sexual practice with me or not.

I am fluid bonded with both partners. However-neither of them have any other partners and being fluid bonded may change if that status changes. It's my body-my choice to say no. Likewise-either of them could say they no longer want to be. That's not rude-it's reality. Personal preference and that activity requires both parties to be ok with it.
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Old 06-23-2013, 01:50 AM
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Our "rule" is condoms for penetrative sex other than between the three of us. If someone decides that they are not comfortable with that rule any longer then they have to share that decision with the other two, who then get to decide how to respond.

For me, if Dude decides he wants to bare-back with some other girl...then it will be back to condoms for the two of us. (I am not willing to expose MrS to some STI on Dude's whim). IF she decides that she is willing to get tested and agrees to condoms with any other partners (and we, ALL THREE, trust her to this extent) THEN the "rule" could be revised to condoms for penetrative sex other than between us four.

Hasn't come up yet...but we have discussed it A LOT!

JaneQ

PS. The boys have their own reasons for needing to use protection re: baby juice. I am on birth control - they are NOT fixed. I am NOT willing to subsidize babies that they make with other women...take that for what it is worth.

PPS. Yes, I know that there are STI's that are spread through other than penetrative sex. We have discussed this. I have tested positive for HPV in the past (although not recently) - they know this. I believe I got it via MrS from his ex. We presume that Dude has also potentially been infected (as have most people who have ever had sex - get vaccinated folks!). In addition, Me and Dude have had outbreaks of HSV-1 (oral). We take reasonable precautions during an outbreak (or the pro-drome) and leave it at that. This is disclosed to 1.) anyone who asks and 2.) anyone that we might get intimate with.

PPPS. I don't see where "rudeness" comes into it - full disclosure and everyone decides their own comfort level. Most restrictive comfort-level trumps all others. No conflict.
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Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 06-23-2013 at 02:04 AM.
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