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  #1  
Old 11-27-2010, 11:21 PM
sunflowershower sunflowershower is offline
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Post Breaking the ice

Hey guys! So, being I'm pretty new at trying to form a triad, I was just wondering...how do you meet people? Probably a question asked many many times here, but I don't know where to start! Obviously starting off as friends would be a plus, but how do you know if someone you are interested in would be even open minded to a different type of relationship? I'm in a small town right now so I'm sure looking in bigger cities would be of help. Is it something that just happens? Are there any poly dating sites out there? Thanks!
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Old 11-28-2010, 03:50 AM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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I think rather than trying to form your ideal relationship, it's easier to just see what happens. I think the only way to really know if someone is interested in the poly lifestyle, would be to talk about it with them.
Letting a relationship flow into place, I think is definitely the best idea though. It's when we try to control things that they can really go wrong.
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Old 11-28-2010, 04:20 AM
sunflowershower sunflowershower is offline
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I do agree with you. It's just hard to sit and wait lol But I wouldn't want to rush anything.
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Old 11-28-2010, 04:31 AM
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I know some people here have tried dating sites - OK Cupid is popular. I just joined it, very recently - no luck yet but I met another poly woman there who has had some luck with the site. The nice part there is that you can write that you're poly in your profile, and not have to worry about when to bring it up.
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Old 11-28-2010, 07:11 AM
sunflowershower sunflowershower is offline
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I have heard alot of positive things about OKCupid, and thought about starting a new profile. Actually, funny enough, I met my fiance on there....lol So, who knows? It couldn't hurt to try it out in a different context.
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Old 11-28-2010, 04:13 PM
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My wife, our new interest, and I all had OKC accounts before we all met. We have since deleted them. For women, they tend to get messages from guys who just want a quick hook up, and for men, we tend to only get women who are....not attractive. This has only been MY experience with OKC.

Generally speaking (and I really hate to do that) men see the word "polyamorous" in a womans profile, and they read it as: "desperate", or "easy", or "slutty", or "fucks on the first date".

Women who see "polyamorous" in the profile, read it as: "weird", freak", "cheater", "only out for sex".


My wife and I have been wanting to help develop a poly dating site, but are not computer savy enough to do it alone. And the only person we personally know of who COULD do it, is ellusive, at best.
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Old 11-28-2010, 07:18 PM
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Its really a shame that some sites have used the term "polyamorous" to mean "open." Now the term has become something other than love, which is what the literal meaning of the word polyamorous is. Otherwise its just sex.

On my okc account I highlighted polyamorous but also added other terms that would indicate I am not interested in cheaters, casual sex or swinging. I make it very clear. As soon as anyone starts talking to me on any other thought I tell them I am not interested and stop acknowledging them. They aren't worth any more of my energy at that point. Really, its always going to be that there are undesirable people to you on dating sites. That is just how it is. Not everyone is compatible to others. So shrugging it off and going in a different direction means not wasting your time.
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Old 11-28-2010, 08:01 PM
Iktomi Iktomi is offline
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you could also check out meetup.com for local poly meetup groups. many poly people are also into BDSM, gaming, Paganism, GLBT community, etc... so if you are interested in any of those things as well you can possibly find poly people in those settings.
i've had luck on okcupid as well as datehookup.com, i'm also on polymatchmaker but had absolutely no luck with that. bisexual passions is another one...
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  #9  
Old 11-28-2010, 08:28 PM
sunflowershower sunflowershower is offline
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Thanks for the recommendations. I found a couple of friends on Bisexualpassions. The main problem I've had is that on the strictly poly sites, there are usually all of only 1500 users, and none close to where I live (not that it that truly matters). Someone should DEF make a poly dating sites...it would be a hit!
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  #10  
Old 11-28-2010, 09:15 PM
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There is one.

http://www.polymatchmaker.com

It's not like OKC in that it's not a meat market. It has interesting forums like here. It's free. Premium members ($5 a month) get things like chat, unlimited winks, unlimited email, etc. Free I think it's 3 emails per 24 hour period, same for winks. Everyone can access the forums as long as they have a subscription there, everyone can access profiles.

I'm a moderator there so I do have Premium access but I enjoyed it with the free access as well.

Here is the run down below on what you can do with a free membership vs premium membership vs no membership.

It wouldn't let me post it because I exceeded the icons allowed so here's the link to the plans page. http://www.polymatchmaker.com/main.m...L&Page=compare
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