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Old 11-25-2010, 01:58 AM
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Jodi Jodi is offline
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Default domination & humiliation

potential partner is into things that i have no experience with. it's even hard for me to write, a little bit, and i'm not really shy.

but, ok. like femdom..never heard of term b4...i don't know if i can do that. i wd possibly try.

just feeling ambivilant, i know i will wind up doing what i'm comfortable with, but i feel like such a novice. i'm not used to being called, my lord or humiliating people, it's u;sually my nature to make people feel comfortable. but, to laugh and make a man beg, or whatever else.., lol.

well, thanks for reading. this would be a new partner that i'm considering who wants me to have an alpha male and young lover as well.

my boyfriend would not go for this, he's private...so wouldn't get him involved..but, i'm willing to recruit a more dominant male. as long as fetish guy is ligitimately a nice person & i'm attracted to him, i think it's worth trying.

need advice on how to be dominating. not sure if it's in me.
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Old 11-25-2010, 02:44 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,217

I don't think that D/s is something that can be taught. I think it's like art - you either have it or you don't. I know there is a difference of opinion about this. Some people feel that naturally dominant people can be taught to be submissive and vice-versa, but I think it's like being gay, straight, or bisexual. You can't "teach" someone those things.

You can teach TECHNIQUE, like safe ways to do bondage and discipline, but you can't teach what turns someone on or gets someone off, IMO.
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Old 11-25-2010, 03:36 AM
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polychronopolous polychronopolous is offline
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^ This.

Meh, If this is not something you have a desire for, you probably won't excel at it.
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Old 11-25-2010, 04:02 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by polychronopolous View Post
^ This.

Meh, If this is not something you have a desire for, you probably won't excel at it.
As a small caveat to this. But it is a small one. There are both subs and doms who enjoy that aspect of sex because their partners do. My best work comes out when I am with someone who gets off on it.

I don't really feel the need to practice it myself, but I can be right into it, with the right partner.
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Old 11-25-2010, 05:54 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I would suggest starting by talking the talk. Try something out. If it isn't feeling right, sitting right with you, then maybe its something to sit out on. At least you might have a chance to figure it out before jumping right in. If the talking is good, then see what comes out of it and take small steps.
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Old 11-25-2010, 08:33 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

I would suggest doing a google search and reading about it.

I dropped a few links in another thread about this earlier today...


Check out information about the topic and you can get a feel for what you are or aren't willing to do.
Then-as RP said-try out things you think you can handle.

I spent nearly a year reading before I made a single move in the "FemDom" world.
That reading was essential and liberating.
I've no regrets to the steps I've taken.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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