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  #1  
Old 11-22-2010, 02:13 PM
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Jodi Jodi is offline
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Cool just lovely

i just found out in confidence from my close friend & wife of my boyfriend that she is having affair. i mentioned on here b4 that it is a double standard and he wouldn't agree to let her have another lover. little did i know that she already have one.

i had been talking to my boyfriend about his jealousy and how it wasn't fair, blah blah. etc. etc.

i found out this way...this young guy i went on a date with...well, he's 30, young for me. she was answering his text while we were all out partyingat a girls night, local pub. she invited him! anyway, i didn't sleep w/ him and wasn't planning on for a while. i wanted to wait and see if he & i were a good fit.

turns out, she drove him home, bcz he isn't driving right now & with me in car too. so, he started kissing us...i really didn't want to have sex bcz. tbh, i'm not that into him.

but, i wanted to do it for her....bcz her husband won't let her have another man. afterwards, is when she confided in me that she was sleeping w/ someone for over a year!!!

i feel duped. wtf. sigh. i'm still grateful she lends me her hub, but now i know it's not out of total generosity, but..something else, like i suspect, so he is preoccupied. i kind of feel used. but i still get the attention from hub, barely, tho, he's not that "wild", errrr.

thanks for letting me talk. jodi.
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  #2  
Old 11-22-2010, 02:15 PM
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Jodi Jodi is offline
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sorry one more thing...now i don't know this fucking guy from adam.

the guy she's been fucking.

how do i know he isn't having sex w/ another woman, isn't diseased.

i'm pissed off when i think about this.

i almost feel like pulling out of what was a good thing. fucking a.
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  #3  
Old 11-22-2010, 04:46 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Sorry. What a drag. Sounds like your good thing is over.

It looks like it's time for a serious dose of responsibility and enlightened self-interest on your part.

First things first: Maybe you can have a frank discussion with the young guy and have a LOOK at his recent std test results. (Don't take his word for it; he's already demonstrated a proclivity for deception.) If he can demonstrate that he has a clean bill of health, you have no worries, at least not on the health front.

Otherwise, you need to get tested, for your health and well-being. And your metamour and bf (her husband) need to be tested too.

Moving forward, you know now that the behavior of your metamour lacks honesty, integrity and respect. As does the behavior of the young man you are/were dating. Not polyamory at all, but just a variation on garden-variety cheating. Sorry.

The good news in this mess is that YOU haven't compromised your integrity. If it were me, I would put my cards on the table with all parties and then withdraw from the relationship. Your bf and metamour have serious work to do on their relationship to either repair or dissolve it, and I wouldn't want to be in the middle of that. Too much wailing and gnashing of teeth on all sides. And as for the young man, meh! Invest the time finding people who are worthy of you.
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Old 11-22-2010, 08:40 PM
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Jodi Jodi is offline
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tnx fidelia. i feel better having talked about it here.
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Old 11-22-2010, 08:41 PM
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Jodi Jodi is offline
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Thumbs down

when i told my metamour "he better not have stds". she laughed and said that he didn't.

it's the laughing that pissed me off. i told her i didn't think it was funny.
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  #6  
Old 11-22-2010, 09:07 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi View Post
when i told my metamour "he better not have stds". she laughed and said that he didn't.

it's the laughing that pissed me off. i told her i didn't think it was funny.
Its an odd conversation. Could be nervous laughter...

If you don't like it, you could request results. We do this within our grouping. We get tests and share results with those we are with. Completely reasonable request.
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  #7  
Old 11-22-2010, 09:10 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Aww HELL No, that's not funny.

Is she delusional?

Time to schedule a doctor's appointment.
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