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Old 08-25-2009, 02:56 AM
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Default Why and how did you get into poly?

Good Evening Everyone,

I was just curious about how you came across the ideas or concepts with in polyamory? And why/how you chose to make those Ideals your own (or why you choose not to)?

I'll start:

My first encounter with the idea that there was other ways a relationship and indeed a family could form would have to be when I read the Novel by Robert Heinlein - Time Enough For Love.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Enough_for_Love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_A._Heinlein
Now before you ask yourself..> what is a young man doing reading romance novels..? Its not a romance novel, its a science fiction Novel, and it is the second book by R.Heinlein that I ever read (certainly not the last). I must say, the ideas in this book changed my life forever, I fell in love it, and with the main character, my hero, champion and guide - Lazarus Long.
I continued to read more and more of Heinlein's books, until I came across another book which rocked my world again..> Stranger In a Strange Land.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stranger_in_a_Strange_Land
This book has so much to give, and so many ideas.. im reading it through for the second time now.

So anyway that is where I got my first exposure to some of the ideas and concepts which exist within polyamory.

If you have never heard of Robert Heinlein I urge you to check out the links, and further more>> read some (or many) of his books.
*But on a final note, I never knew these Idea(l)s had a real name, as I said in my post on the introduction board, I first saw the actual word "Polyamory" while I was reading Richard Dawkin's book - The GOD Delusion.

- Thanks for reading -
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Old 08-25-2009, 03:12 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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I think my exposure came from Three's Company and Star Wars. They both had a love triangle(ish) subplot. (Though Star Wars went icky as the story progressed.) Everyone talked about Jack or Leis having to choose who they wanted to be with. I thought that was unfair. After all, they were all friends, why not let them all stay together. I didn't want the adventure/friendship to end.

I also read a lot of sci-fi (but didn't read Heinlein until long after I identified as poly). Lots of sci-fi has poly oriented material.

Most women I dated were bisexual and being a typical guy, I wanted to help them explore their bisexual side (and watch/join in). That idea led me to consider swinging, but I wanted it to be more of a relationship. After a bit, I fially discovered polyamory on the internet and I realized that described me perfectly.
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Old 08-25-2009, 05:32 AM
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Redpepper..simple and plain. Without her I highly doubt I would ever have gotten to know the word let alone be in a poly relationship....without her I wouldn't go into another one.
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:30 AM
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I watched "summer lovers" from the early 80's about a man and his girlfriend going to Greece for the summer and his falling in love with a neighbor. Not only did I ponder the idea of being the man, but also pondered the idea of going to Greece... haven't fulfilled that dream yet.

My other lover/intimate friend lent that movie to us about a year ago, it has lost it's appeal in light of the fact that we have come so far compared to the characters in the movie... I think it has Darryl Hannah in it?

Next was "the Lunatic" a Jamaican movie I owned and watched a million times. I liken myself to the German woman (Olga Schmit) in many ways! Again, had no idea why I loved that movie so. I thought it was the soundtrack, but something captured me. I was a lesbian at the time too.

I don't read, but a lot of people I know read sci fi and came to poly from various things they read.
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:57 AM
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For me, it just seemed natural. It wasn't spurred on by any media I had read/seen. Just all my life, even though I was raised very conservatively, in the back of my mind I couldn't make sense of monogamy.
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Old 08-25-2009, 02:46 PM
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I didn't learn about it until AFTER I was already in a poly relationship. We had just, fallen in love, and knew we all HAD to be together. We didn't know there were others like us out there. Not until one day I was feeling a bit remenicant and looking through old gf's letters and decided to contact one.

Her and I got to talking and she told me she was married (to a man) I KNEW her, so i asked about a gf, and she went on to tell me about her triad. My jaw nearly hit the floor, I couldn't believe it.

That's the first time I heard the word polyamory. We were so excited that there were others like us out there, in sucessful poly relationships. So yeah, we didn't even know this world existed We were thrilled to find it to say the least!
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Old 08-25-2009, 11:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricavaler View Post
For me, it just seemed natural. It wasn't spurred on by any media I had read/seen. Just all my life, even though I was raised very conservatively, in the back of my mind I couldn't make sense of monogamy.
This is very much me too.... I always knew I was poly, but didn't know there was a name for it until a few years back.
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Old 02-04-2014, 10:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quath View Post
I think my exposure came from Three's Company and Star Wars. They both had a love triangle(ish) subplot. (Though Star Wars went icky as the story progressed.) Everyone talked about Jack or Leis having to choose who they wanted to be with. I thought that was unfair. After all, they were all friends, why not let them all stay together. I didn't want the adventure/friendship to end.
OMG! I totally felt this way, too! Granted, I was too young to really get the sexual part of it, but it has always made perfect sense to me that three (or more) people could all love each other.
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Old 02-04-2014, 10:33 PM
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Heh, I could say much about how increasingly disappointed I've become with the Star Wars saga over the years (What? Too bad? No more original versions? Han can't shoot first anymore? What?), but I definitely agree that would have been so cool if Han and Luke could have both shared a romance with Leia. And I agree about Three's Company too. In fact the show might have been trying to *be* poly -- to the extent that it could get away with at the time. Ah well, there'll be an out-and-out poly sitcom someday.
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Old 02-04-2014, 10:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Heh, I could say much about how increasingly disappointed I've become with the Star Wars saga over the years (What? Too bad? No more original versions? Han can't shoot first anymore? What?), but I definitely agree that would have been so cool if Han and Luke could have both shared a romance with Leia. And I agree about Three's Company too. In fact the show might have been trying to *be* poly -- to the extent that it could get away with at the time. Ah well, there'll be an out-and-out poly sitcom someday.
Dare I admit this? Only the first Star Wars trilogy really counts in my head.
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