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Old 11-09-2010, 07:37 PM
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TrollE TrollE is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: southern ontario
Posts: 11
Default what defines a partner?

so, i think i hurt someones feelings.

someone considered us partners after i thought we had broken it off, and now im all scared that i might hurt someone elses feelings cause they might think we're partners and i just think we're friends,.

anyone know any good definitions or reaassurances? im worried about this labelling and how it can confuse things.


"The more you use it, the more it produces;
the more you talk of it, the less you understand."
- Tao Te Ching
Lao-tzu (abt.551-479 BCE) translated by Stephen Mitchell
in control without controlling

Last edited by TrollE; 11-09-2010 at 07:40 PM.
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Old 11-09-2010, 11:09 PM
Jade Jade is offline
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Sometimes the truth does hurt, and there's no way around it. Deliver it in as loving a way as possible, with the full knowledge that you may be bringing pain. Honesty with compassion is the best we can give sometimes.
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Old 11-09-2010, 11:25 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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So sorry, this person thinks of you as lovers and you think of them as friends?

No real way around it, just tell the truth and be kind.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:37 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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that's a tough one. Some coffee dates I've been on have been considered "dates" by the one I have been out with... it's hard to know so it's best to be honest and say things with an air of friendship instead of flirtatious intent... like "do you want to go on a friendly coffee date... hahaha... I know it gets confusing, so I thought I better through the "friendly" in there" might help next time
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:08 PM
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Jodi Jodi is offline
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perhaps say that you have to focus your energies somewhere else right now or that you don't think that you're a good match. it's hard to do i'm sure. good luck. nobody wants to hurt anothers person's feelings, maybe you could even say that.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:16 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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There are some great, very useful threads on here about definitions, etc. Look for the stickies at the top of each of the various fora here.

But you don't really need definitions from outside sources nearly as much as you need some clear, open and honest communication with this other person.

Be kind and loving, but be clear. Find out how s/he sees your relationship, and express your view of it.

Here's one possibility for an opener, if you're having trouble getting started: "It seems to me that you and I might not be on the same page about our relationship. You are really important to me and I need some clarity around this, so can we talk about it?"
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