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Old 10-16-2010, 03:31 PM
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girlcaleb girlcaleb is offline
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So, I got dumped last night. I feel down and confused. My 2nd boyfriend decided that it was too much to handle. He told me that he could not share me and he would get himself into trouble if I ever came to visit him. He does not want to only spend a few days with me at a time and then "send me off to another man". I have known this guy for years (7). We have had some issues with this before so I'm not completely surprised. It's just a bummer. I thought he was actually getting used to the idea of me being poly. It seemed like he wanted to give it a try. I guess I was being selfish. He told me it would be best if I didn't contact him again. That's the part that really hurts. I know it's best for him. He's still very young. It hurts. I've spent years trying to show him how much he means to me. He just can't deal with any type open relationship. I'm just venting. If this post is in the wrong place I do apologize. I know it's silly to say it but I feel as if I'll never find a man that can handle me (and my boyfriend). Ah, heartbreak. No matter how many times I deal with it, it never gets easier.
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Old 10-16-2010, 03:33 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Originally Posted by girlcaleb View Post
.............. I know it's silly to say it but I feel as if I'll never find a man that can handle me (and my boyfriend). Ah, heartbreak. No matter how many times I deal with it, it never gets easier.
Hey Girl,

Consider that you may be fishing in the wrong stream ?

GS
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Old 10-16-2010, 03:36 PM
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girlcaleb girlcaleb is offline
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where should I fish?
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Old 10-16-2010, 03:39 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by girlcaleb View Post
where should I fish?
My initial thought, maybe find a poly stream

Sounds like you had a mono boyfriend who was honest about not being able to handle it.

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He told me it would be best if I didn't contact him again.
Give him (and you) time, if he was a friend he can be again. But breaking that lover bond takes some people time
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Old 10-16-2010, 03:50 PM
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girlcaleb girlcaleb is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
My initial thought, maybe find a poly stream

Sounds like you had a mono boyfriend who was honest about not being able to handle it.


You're right. He was honest. He told me from the start years ago that he didn't like the fact that I wanted more than one partner. So I can't be mad at him. I'm actually proud. He stood up and told me what I needed to hear. He's all grown up now. It's time for me to stop messing up his head and give him his space.

About the Poly stream , I have often wondered about looking online but it just doesn't feel the same. I feel as if I am cheating. I want to meet someone and have that magical feeling take over. Yes, I am a dreamer. I have met a good man online before. I still see him from time to time. Only problem is that he lives across the country. He is also not someone I want to count as "mine". we are just friends and we have sex. It works for the both of us.

What I really want is another man to share my life with, not just sex. I am sure I'm not the only girl on here that favors the idea of polyandry more than other types of relationships. It's just hard finding men that aren't put off by the idea. Funny note, the man that just dumped me was all for him, me, and another woman. Guys just make me go nuts when they bring this up. Is it just insecurity? I'm rambling now.

Last edited by girlcaleb; 10-16-2010 at 03:54 PM.
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Old 10-16-2010, 04:04 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by girlcaleb View Post
About the Poly stream , I have often wondered about looking online but it just doesn't feel the same. I feel as if I am cheating. I want to meet someone and have that magical feeling take over. Yes, I am a dreamer. I have met a good man online before. I still see him from time to time. Only problem is that he lives across the country. He is also not someone I want to count as "mine". we are just friends and we have sex. It works for the both of us.
Why do you have to find poly people online ...don't you live in a big city? Why not hit up a poly meetup.

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What I really want is another man to share my life with, not just sex. I am sure I'm not the only girl on here that favors the idea of polyandry more than other types of relationships. It's just hard finding men that aren't put off by the idea. Funny note, the man that just dumped me was all for him, me, and another woman. Guys just make me go nuts when they bring this up. Is it just insecurity? I'm rambling now.
Why is his enjoyment of polygamy any worse than your want of polyandy. Personally I would never enter into a polyandry agreement. And honestly reading on polyandry made me reconsider my polygamist ways. Its just to difficult to ask a person to 100% commit to you, but you aren't 100% invested in them.
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Old 10-16-2010, 04:54 PM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
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, I am sure I'm not the only girl on here that favors the idea of polyandry more than other types of relationships. .
Hi girlcaleb. I was interested that you favour the idea of polyandry. That is the first time I have heard anybody mention it on here apart from me.
I am in a polyandrous relationship. That is the model my wife identifies with and she thinks of me and her new guy as full husbands. He helps out looking after the kids. It works fine.
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  #8  
Old 10-16-2010, 06:42 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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But breaking that lover bond takes some people time
I wish there was a set amount of time given here. I'm dealin with a similar situation.
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