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Old 11-29-2012, 11:31 PM
Letitbe Letitbe is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
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Default Polyamory-friendly counselors

My husband and I live in a conservative area and are planning on going to couples counseling. Has anyone found it difficult to find a polyamory-friendly counselor in conservative areas?
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Old 11-30-2012, 12:27 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

A while ago nycindie put together an awesome post full of links to various resources, which includes looking for poly-friendly professionals. If you haven't seen it, that post is here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showp...6&postcount=19

I haven't looked for poly-friendly counselors yet, nor do I really live in a conservative area, but the way I look at it, if they haven't heard of poly and aren't willing to learn, you don't want to go to them anyway. Same for someone who has heard of poly but is judgmental of it. If they aren't willing to learn about new things and open their mind, or if they're going to let their own biases and prejudices interfere, they probably aren't a very good counselor. So in some ways, asking how they feel about poly during a phone interview could narrow down your options and make your selection easier!
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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Old 11-30-2012, 12:46 AM
Letitbe Letitbe is offline
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Posts: 34

Good advice. Thank you.
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Old 11-30-2012, 08:12 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Location: Canada
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When I first phoned my counsellor to ask about seeing someone, one of the first things she asked me is "Have you ever interviewed a counsellor before?"

The way she said it made it sound not only permissible, but expected.

So get out the phone book and start calling. You won't be charged for asking some basic questions to find out whether it's a good fit, and that can save you a lot of headache down the road.

Oddly enough, I haven't actually bothered asking my counsellor if she's poly friendly. She's definitely queer friendly (being as she's queer herself). But I wasn't going for relationship-related issues, so to me it wasn't really relevant. She's very good at focusing on the fact that my issues are my own, and not to be blamed on the people in my life.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 11-30-2012 at 08:14 AM.
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:27 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina
Posts: 239

Is there a poly group anywhere near you? Maybe some of the members can refer you.
Just Rob now. That's all. .

In North Carolina? Check out: facebook.com/ncPoly
In Raleigh/Durham? Check out www.meetup.com/TrianglePolyamory
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Old 12-01-2012, 12:40 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 278

This is usually my first stop when looking for something of that nature.

I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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Old 12-03-2012, 02:22 AM
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SisterLauren SisterLauren is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 9

+1 to another poster on shopping around!

i'm not in couples counseling but i do have a therapist, and she is very open to discussing my husbands.
Southern California Officiant
Contact me for your poly commitment ceremony, if you're ready to say, "I do, and I do, and I do." !
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