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  #1  
Old 11-12-2012, 01:31 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Posts: 388
Default And boom goes the dynamite.

And everything has just exploded. One of the things I've probably not really mentioned in my blog is the fact of the matter that I not only love but am in love with everyone in my family.

For me when I fall in love with someone I want to be able to share everything with them and be with them fully. I love and care about them all equally and want romantic relationships/commitments with them all.

And outside of Woodsmith, none of them want that with me. I'm thinking I'm going to need to move out/cut off all ties (events, facebook, fetlife, text, calls) until I can finally stop being in love with them.

Loving them has been hurting me so badly because I've always kinda known that they don't have those feelings back but I'm devastated at the idea of leaving them.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
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  #2  
Old 11-12-2012, 01:46 AM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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Location: East Coast, U.S.
Posts: 356
Default

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Two years ago, I lost the five people closest to me all at once. (Not "lost" in the sense they died, but in the sense my relationships with them either ended or changed permanently for the worse). They weren't all my romantic loves (one of those people was my brother, with whom I had a severe falling out, unrelated to the other losses), but I understand how unbearable it is to lose so much all at once.

There was nothing I could do except take things one day at a time. Eventually I realized I had emerged from the pain. But it was a long, slow process.

Is your relationship with Woodsmith still strong?
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  #3  
Old 11-12-2012, 03:59 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 388
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Things with woodsmith and I are really good still. Still at a loss as to where to go now. Feels like my head and heart are breaking.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
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  #4  
Old 11-12-2012, 04:27 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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I am sorry you are hurting.

Galagirl
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  #5  
Old 11-12-2012, 10:43 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 279
Default

Bite the shield rim and continue forward.

Best any of us can do.
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=DISCLAIMER=
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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  #6  
Old 11-12-2012, 03:58 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 388
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I had a couple of long talks yesterday with both Lamian and Primal. Still completly up in the air as to where to go now.

I still don't know if I need to pull completely away from them all and deal with the pain of not having them in my life or try to muddle through this pain about the differences in the love/expectations of the relationships.

I'm just a complete and total mess.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
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  #7  
Old 11-13-2012, 04:31 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 388
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So fucking stressful. I feel myself closing up.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
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  #8  
Old 11-13-2012, 05:26 AM
pinkhop pinkhop is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
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I am a big fan of periods of cooling off when a relationship goes through a "transition". If you need time apart, or time of no physical contact then ask for it, and don't be worried about adjusting your needs as time goes on.
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