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  #1  
Old 07-11-2010, 10:00 PM
otter otter is offline
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Default Telling younger kids

So I have a 13 year old son with Asburgers and a 10 year old daughter. Over the last week I have been talking to them about how do they feel when they see Mom hugging Wolf. Both where ok with that so next we talked about kissing. So far so good. Then the big one. How do they feel if Mom has a Boyfriend who she loves.
Son : "Are you leaving Dad, no, ok then what ever. "

Daughter: " No he is mean ( he love to tease her and she gives as good as she gets) "

So we talk about how you can have more then one best friend. She understood then asked " are you going to marry him". " Well that's up to him and would not be any time soon am sure. If we did it would be a Pagan ceremony because its not legal " I said. She thinks for a bit. Then said " ok you can date him as long as if you marry I get to be a flower girl".

So have any of you told your kids and how did they handle it?
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Old 07-11-2010, 11:53 PM
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Hi there,

Not meaning to correct, just to make sure I am understanding properly. You meant your son has been diagnosed with Aspergers ?

He is able to relate emotionally what you explained to him about love, and having more then one love ?

ASD including Aspergers, can have kids all over the scale as you know, I am sure. It will all depend on his ability to process, and relate back to you his true feelings.

As for your question,...no, for us, we do not talk to our kids about our personal life at all. Same way we wouldn`t talk to them about our kink life, or what my husband and I, like to do privately.

When they ask about their own lives,(and future) we talk about the various options available. We can then talk about how some people love in multiple, some only love one other. We try to give them a open, non-biased approach to life.

Once my children are older, if they were to ask directly, we will not hide nor pretend. We are not ashamed, just private.

Sounds like your kids had a very natural talk with you,.that is a great start
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Old 07-12-2010, 01:23 AM
otter otter is offline
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Thank you. Yes my spelling is not the best and my Blackberry had no idea what I was try to say ;D

I would never talk about my kinks or sex life with my kids, but how else can you have a relationship with out your kids knowing something is up. He is not a person who I would sneak out to see and when he is around he is vary much part of our family. My kids have seen just about every walk of life when it comes to partners and when they ask I alway tell them if it works then should have every right to be happy.
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Old 07-12-2010, 03:38 AM
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My son asked me this weekend what is the big deal about poly. Poly this and poly that. Okay we were at poly camp, so there was a lot to take in. I told him that we have chosen to be okay with loving more than one person in a girlfiend boyfriend way. That isn't what other people think is the right the thing to do, but we do and because that is unusual we get together to support each other. I told him that its about Mono and Nerdist being mummies loves and his family. We all love each other extra specially much and that feels right to us. I let him know he can decide whatever he wants and we would love him regardless. Its about feeling good and right when you love someone or someones.
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Old 07-12-2010, 04:00 AM
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Ahhh Yes,.... Then I am not very useful as 'advice'.

I won`t ever be living with a secondary, so it works a little different for us.

Hopefully, some of the forum members who have 'been there, done that' will be able to help you.
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Old 07-12-2010, 05:27 AM
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I haven't told my kids yet, but will when the time arises. I usually let them ask questions, and answer at their level of understanding.
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