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Old 07-06-2010, 04:54 PM
otter otter is offline
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Default surviving a long distance relationship

A little back ground. A man who I have been in love with for 15 years in now back in my life. Before now we never had a relationship just a couple 3 somes my Husband had set up over 9 years ago. This weekend with lots of fear I told him how I felt. He was vary open to my love and while he does not love me the same way in return, he does feel deeply for me. We rekindled a physical relationship and on Monday he went home 8 hours away.

Now here's my problem. He does not need me mooning over him daily. I am not a teenager I should be strong in knowing he does care for me and not need the constant reassurance. Its sounds good but he has been gone for less then 24 hours and I just want to call and talk to him so bad. He told me I can call him anytime. He has not put a limit on it. This is me trying to give him space so he can think about a lot of stuff that we talked about. He is also looking to move (down in his town). He really does not need me calling all the time.

Its not like I am alone. I have a amazing husband who is vary OK with this, almost more then I am. I am still after 15 years asking my self how this happened and why I can not be like so many others and be happy with just my husband.

Anyways, how do some of you guys handle long distance relationships? How do you handle not being able to reassure your self everything is ok?
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Old 07-06-2010, 05:01 PM
X-User1335 X-User1335 is offline
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The long distance thing is hard. We're going through that right now with our girlfriend.

You just always have to tell yourself that trust is the building blocks for a relationship........without it, the relationship won't ever work. So if something is bugging you, you just have to talk about it and get it out of your system. It typically ends up being something with no value to it at all anyway! LOL!

Long distance is hard, anyone who's ever done it knows how difficult it can be.

I don't really have any advice, just wanted to say that you're not alone!
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Old 07-06-2010, 05:06 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otter View Post
Anyways, how do some of you guys handle long distance relationships? How do you handle not being able to reassure your self everything is ok?
Trust in what your partner has told you

Also, contact even little bits helps. Keep in touch. Hopefully he will do the same. Figure out what you need to keep yourself re-assured

one thing I would recommend against, don't make set times for contact. Let it be fluid, if you have set times and something gets missed, you may feel hurt or resentful.
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Old 07-06-2010, 07:44 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I suggest that you do a search on LDR's on here. There have been some recent threads that might help.

I, personally would not put the time and effort in. They don't fulfill my needs even remotely. I just end up aching, lonelier and the NRE lasts way to long.

Really it sounds like any other new relationship to me. There are kinks to work out and NRE to go through just as anyone who lived close to you. Perhaps reading on here in terms of other related topics will help.
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Old 07-06-2010, 07:44 PM
otter otter is offline
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Thanks

You would think after talking to him and telling him how I felt and him accepting it and is willing to work something out I would not feel so insecure today. I just feel lost and not sure what to do next. There needs to be a self help book on this.
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Old 07-06-2010, 07:53 PM
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foxflame88 foxflame88 is offline
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Communication makes long distance easier for me... it isn't daily, but it is often. At random times... sometimes just a quick "I'm thinking of you" sometimes we talk for hours.

While I don't like the distance (neither does he), we are working on an eventual plan to be closer, without rushing into it.
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Old 07-06-2010, 08:09 PM
otter otter is offline
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There was talk about may be him moving up here in the next year or so. His family lives in the area so I am hope full, but not hanging my happiness on it.

If I had a choice I would not have a long distance relationship, but I have been in love with this guy for over 15 years. I am just happy I could now talk to him about it.

Sometime I wonder if what I am is poly? I have no wish or desire to go out and find any one else. I love my two guys and have no need to look else where. May be I am Bimono. .
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Old 07-06-2010, 08:12 PM
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Haha! Bimono! That's awesome!
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