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View Poll Results: Is masturbation sex?
I'm a woman and I vote yes 28 24.14%
I'm a woman and I vote no 28 24.14%
I'm a man and I voted yes 16 13.79%
I'm a man and I vote no 25 21.55%
I'm gender-variant and I vote yes 1 0.86%
I'm gender-variant and I vote no 1 0.86%
Magical brownies 17 14.66%
Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 07-05-2010, 01:43 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Default Is masturbation sex?

I've been taking an informal poll of this irl and would like your thoughts. Please post why you voted yes or no.

Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 07-05-2010, 03:45 PM
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clairegoad clairegoad is offline
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Default To quote one of my favorite attorneys....

I could easily argue for either position..

Yes, it is sex... physically, touching & pleasuring one's self. Without it, life is less pleasant.

No, it isn't sex.. without a partner, I lose the feedback and challenges and differences, and excitement. There's no communication, no relationship, no interaction.

I've heard discussions in Conservative Christian Women's groups about whether masturbation is cheating. (I'll assume that discussion won't happen here.)

I remember a "shocking" women's magazine article that "revealed" that married men pleasured themselves. (Redbook? Ladies Home Journal?)
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Old 07-05-2010, 05:21 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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no...not for me...its relief...like peeing.

Putting my finger in my mouth isn't giving myself oral...

It probably can be...but it isn't for me. Sex includes another body in my world
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Old 07-05-2010, 06:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
no...not for me...its relief...like peeing.

Putting my finger in my mouth isn't giving myself oral...

It probably can be...but it isn't for me. Sex includes another body in my world
I couldn't say it any better than that.
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:23 PM
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Sexually stimulating oneself in my book is still sex, whether it is done for the pleasure or just for the release. The basic end result is still the same, orgasm.
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:26 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
Sexually stimulating oneself in my book is still sex, whether it is done for the pleasure or just for the release. The basic end result is still the same, orgasm.
Does cumming relate to orgasm to you everytime?...(honest question, not being sarcastic)
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Old 07-08-2010, 07:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
no...not for me...its relief...like peeing.

Putting my finger in my mouth isn't giving myself oral...

It probably can be...but it isn't for me. Sex includes another body in my world
This is probably the best explination for me as well.. Without the interaction of another person it is more of a bodily function (one of relief) than an act of sex.
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Old 07-08-2010, 08:12 PM
immaterial immaterial is offline
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This is a very interesting thread. I wish there were more responses. I really think it is a very odd topic. Where does sex begin? I've known folks who actually believe sucking cock is not sex. Anal penetration by a penis is not sex. Handjobs are not sex. Giving oneself a handjob is not sex. Etc.

Then there are those who seem to think these behaviors are sex, but they don't constitute a breaking of commitment.

I used to go to erotic massage places and get handjobs. I did this when I was in "committed monogamous relationships." I think part of my rationale was that it wasn't sex. How convenient! Really, it doesn't matter what label I put on a behavior. It's about open, honest, ethical communication.

Lots of trouble with one of my sig others started when she "caught" me masturbating. I thought she had left the house and I was getting off and she heard me. (I can be kind of loud). For her, it was real betrayal. For me, it was a source of deep resentment, a feeling I had no privacy in my own home. These sorts of collisions are the stuff of relationship catastrophe. She gets to feel betrayed by my autoerotic sex life and I get to feel pissed off at her for violating my privacy. Ugh.

If I look at porn and get turned on, is that betrayal? If I fuck someone else but think about you the entire time, dear, is that commitment? :-)

Immaterial
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Old 07-08-2010, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by immaterial View Post
This is a very interesting thread. I wish there were more responses. I really think it is a very odd topic. Where does sex begin? I've known folks who actually believe sucking cock is not sex. Anal penetration by a penis is not sex. Handjobs are not sex. Giving oneself a handjob is not sex. Etc.
I see this too, however usually from younger people. Sex for me is black and white simple. Masturbation is not, with a partner it is. I have gone weekends without intercourse but had lots of sex. intercourse is part of sex, but sex does not require intercourse. In my little world, it is simple.

The rest of your list gets into commitment which is different for every partnership.

Honestly, for me this is simply too, if you do something behind the back of your partner, that is sexual and you know it won't be an approved act, you are cheating. If you are with someone who views masturbation as cheating...then it is cheating. Do I agree, no, but you are in a partnership agreement with someone who is really strict sexually.

ps, you might want to start renegotiating QUICKLY if thats actually the case. :P
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Old 07-08-2010, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by immaterial View Post
This is a very interesting thread. I wish there were more responses.
Me too! Thank you for responding.

Quote:
I really think it is a very odd topic. Where does sex begin? I've known folks who actually believe sucking cock is not sex. Anal penetration by a penis is not sex. Handjobs are not sex. Giving oneself a handjob is not sex. Etc.
Maybe it goes back to Bill Clinton and all the abstinence sex ed classes?

Anything but full intercourse w your partner is not sex? and we'll then take advantage of that loophole?




Quote:
Then there are those who seem to think these behaviors are sex, but they don't constitute a breaking of commitment.

I used to go to erotic massage places and get handjobs. I did this when I was in "committed monogamous relationships." I think part of my rationale was that it wasn't sex. How convenient!
There's that loophole.
Quote:
Really, it doesn't matter what label I put on a behavior. It's about open, honest, ethical communication.

Lots of trouble with one of my sig others started when she "caught" me masturbating. I thought she had left the house and I was getting off and she heard me. (I can be kind of loud). For her, it was real betrayal. For me, it was a source of deep resentment, a feeling I had no privacy in my own home. These sorts of collisions are the stuff of relationship catastrophe. She gets to feel betrayed by my autoerotic sex life and I get to feel pissed off at her for violating my privacy. Ugh.
Oh man. I have to say, my ex-h and I had somewhat similar issues. Masturbation is shameful and shouldnt be necessary when youre in a relationship?

Bullshit, I say. Sometimes one just wants self pleasure and not the whole song and dance w a partner. No matter how good the sex is with them.

Quote:
If I look at porn and get turned on, is that betrayal?
Not in my book!

Quote:
If I fuck someone else but think about you the entire time, dear, is that commitment? :-)

Immaterial
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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