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  #1  
Old 07-03-2010, 08:27 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Default ...and we're on our way.

Hi everyone.

I just wanted to post that I had a great night with J last night. Kept within my boundaries, and am having fun exploring what could be the beginning of a real poly relationship.

I NEVER would have thought this sort of thing would have happened to me, or that I would even consider it.

Who knows what the future brings, but I am excited to have the chance to explore my self and my life in a different way. I have a wonderful BF, and a new interest that is completely open and unafraid of this dynamic.

Thank you for your support,
It was paramount to me getting here.
RS
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Old 07-04-2010, 04:46 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #3  
Old 07-04-2010, 05:28 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
Hi everyone.

I just wanted to post that I had a great night with J last night. Kept within my boundaries, and am having fun exploring what could be the beginning of a real poly relationship.

I NEVER would have thought this sort of thing would have happened to me, or that I would even consider it.

Who knows what the future brings, but I am excited to have the chance to explore my self and my life in a different way. I have a wonderful BF, and a new interest that is completely open and unafraid of this dynamic.

Thank you for your support,
It was paramount to me getting here.
RS
I'm happy for you my friend. I hope you are smiling this morning and everything is going great!
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Old 07-05-2010, 03:31 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Congrats
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  #5  
Old 07-16-2010, 05:35 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Default Man do I have some news...

So, Ouroboros is in Guatemala for the month. I called him up last night because I was in a club with some close friends of mine and a girlfriend expressed interest in playing with me.... I wanted to know what the boundaries were.

So - I totally had sex with a woman last night.

It felt so completely natural. Even she said "gender doesn't really matter, does it?"

Now, today, I feel like I have a lot to process.
1) Never done this before... the newness of that and all the societal ?s are filling my brain.
2) Wondering now why the boundaries are different for a girl than a guy? I hear about this all the time - how guys feel much less insecure about this arrangement.
3) also feeling strangely guilty about it... like I did something wrong.

I am not sure if I am bi - or if I was just having fun. Really feeling little need to define that at the moment, if ever.
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Old 07-16-2010, 08:34 PM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post

Now, today, I feel like I have a lot to process.
1) Never done this before... the newness of that and all the societal ?s are filling my brain.
2) Wondering now why the boundaries are different for a girl than a guy? I hear about this all the time - how guys feel much less insecure about this arrangement.
3) also feeling strangely guilty about it... like I did something wrong.

I am not sure if I am bi - or if I was just having fun. Really feeling little need to define that at the moment, if ever.
Go you! My feeling on what you are processing is that
1) that's gonna be for you to decide how to handle or not handle
2) My understanding is that most men don't feel another woman is a threat. They don't have to compete b/c the dynamic is different. Though Karma doesn't seem to care one way or another as long as I'm happy.
3)I totaly get that. A friend kissed me at a party several weeks ago (the non b/f of my blog) and while we've had Karma's permision for awhile, and it was only a few kisses with Karma there, and it was great, I still felt guilty. I can't explain why, but I did.

I've never slept with a woman. I want to. I've always wanted to. I've gone pretty far with my wife, but things just haven't worked out with anyone to go any further.

That being said I identify Bi to save explanation to society, but I'm not big on labels. I love people. I love people who care, I love intimacy. The female body is beautiful and unique to the power of a male body. The connection with a female is different than a male ( in my opinion). Basicaly, I'm me and I'm attracted to whomever I'm attracted to regardless of their sex.

I hope you find your answers, and I hope they bring you the enlightenment and peace mine brought me.
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  #7  
Old 07-19-2010, 12:44 AM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Um ARGH.

J, the guy I have been seeing every once in a while is in a situation that is driving me bonkers. In fact - I am a little pissed.

There is another woman, we'll call her H. She is obsessive... and I mean this for sure. She and J knew each other in Maine before he moved here (for like 6 days) and she moved here "chasing him". She forced herself into his home, saying she would stay for 2 weeks, stayed for 6.... she has become entirely dependent on him here. He found her an apartment, and she won't branch out and find her own friends and activities. Co dependence is oozing out of everywhere!

As soon as something happened between J and I, she FREAKED. Him and her were f*ing mostly out of convenience at the beginning, and he told her ( not because of me, prior to me) that he didn't want to date her, and they should date other people.

I come into the picture, and she becomes crazy.

Right now - even thought they are not dating - there is a "ban" on how J and I can interact. I have my own boundaries... I'm moving slow, and we have ONLY kissed.... totally PG. That is all that will happen regardless of him, OR her for a while.

This is TOTAL BULLSHIT.

Now - I would understand and be graceful if they were in a relationship, he wanted to date her and build a relationship, etc. etc. and I would not be so pissed off.

Right now, this chick owns his balls, and it is NOT attractive. If he doesn't make a move for his own free fucking will, I will make it for him, and be done with this.

Now, this is a total shame. We get a long great, really like each other, and find each other attractive. But I am not a puppet. She is not my master either. God damn.

Anyone ever experienced this before?
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  #8  
Old 08-02-2011, 06:44 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Default Open Relationship/Poly groups

After 2 years of Dating O, we are discovering a community of like-minded individuals in our small town. All the friends that doubted us are more comfortable, and even participate on occasion (lightly). This is AWESOME to me, because originally I banned friends from this, and now appreciate the honesty and trust in the occasional fun with someone you know.

Furthermore, one of my closest friends has opened up her relationship and is exploring polyamory (not just open relationships) with a long-distance bf. Something she said she would "never" do when I was talking to her about me. Now, everyone is stepping out of the wood-works, and we even have a nice little community that cropped up out of no where!

It is soooo nice to have this support network, to just be able to talk/not feel singled out and weird about talking about your SO's trysts with other people, no matter how small or big a deal they were. I think others are feeling the same.

Also, my close friend is so strong in all of this that I feel more comfortable and trusting in O. I realize that regardless of the shape of your relationship, it is so important to have others to bounce ideas off. This is probably why I've been quite absent from here. I'm happy, secure, and have my own little group of live people to hang out with and talk to. I can bring J to parties with all of my friends there (even though nothing is happening between us anymore, it was weird for a bit b/c everyone knew what I was doing). I am not ashamed, WHY WAS I?

There are no OSOs, who knows if there will be... but the exploration of all of this has been so incredibly rewarding in so many ways, I don't think it really matters.
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  #9  
Old 03-15-2012, 03:38 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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ENGAGED!

And with Profiles on OKC Our community of like-minded individuals is growing immensely here in my small town. It's kind've spectacular. What started with O and I scared, with no one to talk to (why I turned to this forum in the first place) has grown into acceptance and even comradery.

Also, I found a great rock band to play in, and just got back from a short tour and recording session.

Until next time,
RS
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  #10  
Old 03-16-2012, 03:46 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Awesomeness!

Congratulations on your engagement (and your comradery with others).

Thanks for the update.
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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