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  #1  
Old 10-11-2012, 11:54 PM
wokeupconfused wokeupconfused is offline
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Default Not sure if this is the place or not.....

So, my lady's 16 year old son was just diagnosed with a lymphoma cancer. She is falling apart, I am not sure if I can help her, since I just watched my mom die of lymphoma this last spring. It seems every time I try and be supportive, I make her cry.

She believes counseling is a waste of time.

HOW can anyone believe that a god is all loving and kind, then put cancer in a 16 year old boy... Let alone adults.... This all just confirms my thoughts on Christianity and organized religion as a whole...

I guess I needed a place to just say something. This was the place I came to, first. I want to scream curses at any and all entities that may be involved. I want to know WHY! I want to know what that young man did to deserve this???? I want answers to why I have had to watch not only my mom die of this horrible disease this last spring, but my dad waste away in front of my eyes almost 20 years ago. And now, I have to watch this young man fight for his very life, before he even gets to go to a Prom. I know life is not fair.. but hell, this kid has not even experienced life yet!!!!
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  #2  
Old 10-13-2012, 03:08 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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HUG.

Sigh.

There's sometimes just not enough words. There's always enough Heart -- give your people (and yourself) the Heart they might need at this challenging time.

Will send good thoughts/prayers your way. My deepest condolances.

Namaste,
GalaGirl
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  #3  
Old 10-15-2012, 02:37 PM
InquiringOne InquiringOne is offline
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Hi,

My condolences to you on your losses and this boy's battle. My sister died after a 5-year battle with cancer. She was only 19. Your feelings are entirely normal.

There's not much great advice as everyone needs to deal with these things at their own pace and in their own way. But I'll try to give a few things.

1) as far as taking care of yourself, just remember that if you have any feelings of guilt over their loss that the only person that is hurting is yourself. it won't bring them back. if you have anger at god, the universe, etc. that will eventually spill over to the people in your life. so while it's understandable to feel that an implicit promise of religion, that the good will be treated well, has been broken, the anger is not a solution to your grief.

2) in taking care of others, often the best thing you can do is to just listen, hold their hand, and be there to hug them when they need it. there are no words that make it better for them. you can only re-affirm your love and care for them which will eventually carry them through.

best of luck to you. and I hope he defies the odds.
IO
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  #4  
Old 10-16-2012, 11:01 PM
wokeupconfused wokeupconfused is offline
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Yes, I am angry. I can not seem to work that anger out of me, no matter how hard I work at it. I am angry to have to watch people I love, waste away to nothing, be in excruciating pain, and finally die a horrible death, that no one should have to bear witness to, or endure.

I am angry that some diety/entity/whatever the hell you want to call it, seems to enjoy watching people suffer. I am angry that due to profits for research facilities, the FDA is bribed into keeping alternative methods of curing cancer out of our country.

There is a reason there is no cure for cancer.. it is the billions of dollars that are made researching for the cure...

As for me helping others... I love her with all my heart. I will make sure she is taken care of, and will help with anything and everything I can. She will know I am the rock she can lean on, if it kills me.

Thanks for letting me vent...
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  #5  
Old 10-17-2012, 01:18 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Do you feel like your faith is being tested? You bring that up twice already.

I do not know your spiritual/religious beliefs/denominaton might be or where your faith development stage process is at. I do not want to intrude or assume at a fragile time in your life.

But I wanted to share that I do know the rage of that. I experienced that rage at the death of my grandfather. "Furious God would allow such a thing..." and well. All that stuff. It's powerful stuff to feel.

It marked the change from stage 3 to stage 4 for me in my faith development on the Fowler chart. (and I did not know what that even meant until much later! I would have felt SO much better at the time had someone gave me that chart -- so in case it could help, I give you the link. Maybe it doesn't help at all! )

But yes. BTDT. Both with crisis of faith and then enduring serious dx in loved ones and having to bear it.

Keep hanging in there. Shine on even though your inner light is dim or wobbly right now.

I do still see you. I cannot relieve you of your suffering but I can take on a bit of that burden -- to read and respond and thus let you know you do not suffer alone and unseen and unheard.

I see you.
I see you.
I see you.

*hug*

Namaste,
GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-17-2012 at 01:20 AM.
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  #6  
Old 10-17-2012, 04:18 AM
wokeupconfused wokeupconfused is offline
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I was raised in the Christian church, sent to Christian schools, etc...

I have, however, gone from there, to not believing in ANY organized religion, to not believing in Christianity, or a Christian god. I have always leaned more towards the Native American belief system. Not any one in particular, more of a hodge podge.

So, to answer you, no I do not feel my faith is being tested. I am not sure you could say I have a specific enough faith to be tested.

I will take a look at you link (thank you very much, I appreciate it), and see if it applies at all.

Yes, I feel like my light is very dim right now. Not shining through the thick fog at all. It has just been a very rough year and a half, and I would really like it to start swinging towards my favor for a change.

I had to call and file a complaint yesterday in response to how my lady was treated by a company. I had to call back and apologize, for how I sounded. I just went a bit to far.

Thank you so much for hearing me.... it is so hard to have family, but even though they listen to what you are saying, they do not hear.
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  #7  
Old 10-17-2012, 04:23 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Some days, its a minute or less at a time, not even able to manage one day at a time.

I am sorry for your loss and the ongoing traumatic pain and suffering.

There's so little to say, but I too am watching your thread, listening to your pain and hearing your anguish.
You aren't completely alone even if we remain unseen.
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"Love As Thou Wilt"
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