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  #1  
Old 10-05-2012, 10:26 PM
nurseypoo1 nurseypoo1 is offline
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Smile New to the scene--lots of adjustments. Advice?

Hi everyone! Been doing a LOT of investigating about open marriages and very recently opened mine. A number of reasons were involved in this decision. But we are what i believe to be a mono-poly couple. Its getting easier...but is still hard to deal with some of the feelings of jealousy and insecurity. My husband's "friend with benefits" is a very good friend of ours. Hubby and i have talked extensively about this lifestyle change...so communication is good. Trust and honesty are there completely. But sometimes i just cant get over the insecurities...one beong that i am not ready yet for there to be an "in love" type of involvement. Maybe one day but not yet.
I do not wish to be poly. Surprisingly, and im sure some will disagree... my husband DOES meet every one of my needs. Any advice on making this journey easier? Anything the books out there dont tell you...good or bad? Thanks all!! Glad to be here.
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Old 10-08-2012, 04:21 PM
nurseypoo1 nurseypoo1 is offline
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Anyone with mono-poly experience able to give any pointers or tips? I kept my original post shorter than i wanted so as not to bore anyone. Questions gladly answered! Thanx in advance.
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  #3  
Old 10-08-2012, 04:26 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Nurserypool,

Welcome! You are far from alone in being in a mono/poly relationship. Mono/poly comes up a lot here and many members are in that kind of relationship.

If you haven't already, search for threads tagged 'mono poly' or something similar. There is much to learn from previous threads. Also I believe there is Yahoo group on mono/poly that is active. You may find that useful too.
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Old 10-08-2012, 04:48 PM
nurseypoo1 nurseypoo1 is offline
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Thank u!! I try to get on and look around when i can but time isnt on my side. Lol.
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  #5  
Old 10-08-2012, 07:51 PM
Stevenjaguar Stevenjaguar is offline
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I can understand what you're going through. I'm in kind of a similar situation as my fiancee still sees her former lover that she's had on and off since high school, and whom she sees once or twice a month. Like your situation, the FWB is a very good friend of ours. I went into the relationship saying I was OK with that and being supportive of it, but it has taken me a long, long time to work out my innermost jealousy and insecurity about it. The truth is, that's who she is and I won't change it, and accepting it makes our relationship stronger. Doesn't make it any easier at times.

PM me if you would like to talk.
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:20 PM
nurseypoo1 nurseypoo1 is offline
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Thanx stevenjaguar. I read in something in another post and now i have to wonder. All of this was my idea for many of my own growth and maturity reasons. Plus im VERY reserved sexually and realized he was sexually attracted to her. I KNOW he luvs me and only me. For now. I have handled everything extremely well so far. But i wonder if im not simply ignoring the reality instead of truly dealing with it. I'm becoming confused.
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Old 11-11-2012, 06:27 PM
jennykeck jennykeck is offline
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Hello, All I am very open to fining happiness, and although I love love and attraction and sex, which will all be involved I am completely open to packaging. My dream would be to have a long term relation ship with a man and a woman who both are in love with me and each are also in love with each other we would all share our lives. BUT, how on earth do you get started?
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Old 11-11-2012, 08:38 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Try our Dating & Friendships subforum,
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  #9  
Old 11-12-2012, 03:12 PM
nurseypoo1 nurseypoo1 is offline
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Hubby and i talked extensively about his gf's admission of being in love with him. I asked him what he thought of it...did it change anything...etc. We definitely have to have our sit down with her very soon ( has been very difficult due to ability to be without kids on both ends). He said he noticed that since she told us this...she has changed. Before she would ask to go places with us or come over in case we had plans. Now she just comes over. And doesnt leave. Lol. She says shes going places with him instead of asking if he minds if she goes. She has become very jealous of his new female friend...telling him she doesnt like him going hunting with her...or hunting period. Very possessive and suddenly competitive. So we will see what happens. Not sure im liking this new side. Lol.
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Old 11-12-2012, 10:55 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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I guess GF and Hubby will have to work out the hunting issue between the two of them. GF will probably run into some difficulties if she can't adopt a poly mindset, but that's kind of for her to work out with herself.
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