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Old 06-07-2010, 01:28 AM
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sage sage is offline
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Default Would you, should you

....take on a secondary whose partner doesn't know what he's up to?

Thoughts please
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Old 06-07-2010, 02:52 AM
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foxflame88 foxflame88 is offline
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If someone is left in the dark, that is CHEATING.
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. ~Woody Allen
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Old 06-07-2010, 03:04 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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How do you think that will play out when his partner finds out he's been cheating on her? Do you really want to be part of that?
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 06-07-2010, 04:03 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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I don't understand how you would ever build a level of trust with that person. If they can do it to someone else they can just as easily do it to you. All the things they are saying to you...you're different/special, I tell you everything etc. etc. they are probably saying to the person they are keeping in the dark.


Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
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Old 06-07-2010, 04:25 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I second the trust issues vote.

I'm the kind of person who believes each person is accountable for their own actions, so I don't worry so much about enabling someone to cheat. What I do worry about is being lied to.

If you know someone is going to be cheating, then there's no reason to believe they'll ever be open and honest with you.

So no, I wouldn't.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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Old 06-07-2010, 05:29 AM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
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To continue with the above notions, No, I would not. In fact I have had to recently deal with a guy who claims to want an open relationship with his wife but isn't ready to tell her or deal with the fallout or whatever other chickensh!t he can come up with. I had to go so far as to say that if we were ever to meet and "agree to have sex" I would have to meet her first. His response was, "but she's not bi". um...yeah. Neither am I. It's about respect and trust, I would want to show her that I respect her and was not trying to take her man away, and I don't trust him to tell me the truth. lol
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
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