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Old 09-25-2012, 03:57 AM
Gingy Gingy is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2
Default Hi

Hey everyone, I'm Gingy.
I'm looking foreward to getting to know everyone here. After this introduction I intend to do a lot of lurking and learning, so I don't stuff my foot in my mouth too often, but I thought it would be polite to say hi.

My situation feels a bit complicated, so by the looks of things I cam the the right place My fiancee (straight male) and I (bisexual female) have had a somewhat open relationship for quite some time. It started with our first threesome and went from there. Since then I have been fine with him having sex with other women, and he has had long distance emotional relationships as well. I'm fine with that, if he's happy so am I. He also feels that it's fine for me to date, fool around with other women.
My complication is that I currently also have feelings for our male roommate. The three of us live together and function as a family. The guys are pretty much best friends, they spend their time off gaming and hanging out with each other, do each other favors, and are just generally good to each other.
I do the things my fiancee doesn't want to do with my room mate, we go for walks, and drink tea together etc. My fiancee says he is fine with us doing things together sexually, and my room mate only declined because he is a very shy person.
I find we're all very close emotionally, even without factoring sexuality into the relationship, so I don't want to do anything that would hurt that.
I guess I'm just not sure what to do about the fact that I have feelings for another guy, and I'm worried that although my fiancee is ok with me being sexually involved with other people, he would be hurt to learn I have feelings for our room mate.

So there you have it, my situation in a nutshell. My current plan of action is to just wait and see how everything goes.

It's a pleasure meeting you all.
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  #2  
Old 10-03-2012, 10:54 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 5,013
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Hi Gingy,

This is a very late welcome coming from me, but welcome. I haven't been signed on for awhile, but ... anywayz, I'm glad you're here.

Perhaps the way to do things with your roommate is to just take it slowly, a kiss here and there first, nothing big, and see how that goes. You did mention that your roommate is very shy.

As for your fiancÚ, perhaps the way to go is to just let him know you do have feelings for the roommate, before even that kiss here or there. This way your fiancÚ has time to process the information before anything happens.

As a rule, I recommend communicating with the others about what's going on with your feelings, sooner rather than later. But I know every situation is different, so you have to be the judge on your own situation.

Anyway, I hope your time spent on Polyamory.com is helpful to you. Glad to have you aboard.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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