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Old 06-06-2010, 12:19 AM
TantricPassion TantricPassion is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Romania...the california in Oct
Posts: 1
Smile Mono to Poly?

Hello everyone,

I just made an account on this and I would like to share a little bit of my story as well as ask for some advice....so here goes nothing:

I was raised in a Christian household where issues regarding sex were either drilled into me as "sinful" or were simply not discussed. I followed this form of thinking and became very involved in my church and Christian club for two years in high school until I realized I started making God a sort of obsessive compulsive behavior...I needed approval for EVERYTHING. So then I eventually pull myself out of the church because of its (and my) own devastating effects to my social life and my well being (i stopped eating at times because i felt that 'God wanted me to').

I lived life angry, resentful...so on and so forth (I would be happy to explain this to anyone who wants to know, but in the interest of those who want to know my question....) until I packed up my bags, left my family and friends and moved to Romania with someone that I love dearly.

During this 2 year relationship we have had very little sex....so little that, despite conversations and promises of change, nothing happened. And I understand where she has come from in life and she has had things happened to her that I pray not another soul experiences, but in those 2 years (not including the first 2 months) I can count the amount of times we've had sex on my hands.....

So while I wasn't having my needs met I began thinking about what I want sexually speaking. It was a truly liberating experience for me because my upbringing didn't support such thoughts and until this point in my life I never gave it too much thought. In these thoughts I began to fantasize about other guys more frequently than I had before and I really wanted to just....explore. Men and women both together and separately. I was introduced the book "the ethical slut", which ive read on these forums that there are better books about the subject, but I didn't even know that this idea existed, much less be a means for which to live a happy life. Because of this and my newfound sexuality, I have found this site.

My girlfriend has decided now to leave Romania because apparently its hard to find a job here (go figure, right?)and had been offered one recently.I am staying because I have the opportunity to go to school here. Because of this, sad to say, but we both sort of felt like maybe this was the end....we had made no plans because we are in completely different parts of our lives currently (she is 8 years older than me).

I guess I came on here to ask about Polyamory....I want to meet people and have conversations with them and know their stories...I want to know where I can obtain information about polyamory.

I really blame my religious upbringing from keeping my blind for so long about this....but I am very thankful that I found this, if for nothing else the idea of polyamory has given me renewed sexuality to explore and find love in ways other than the tradition monogamy(because I've never understood that if most US marriage end in divorce, whats the point???....it has to be about love...not a piece of paper).

I suppose this is my long way of telling this community hello and I hope to learn and grow here with all of you.
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  #2  
Old 06-06-2010, 03:36 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,186
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Welcome aboard.

You'll find lots of personal stories on the boards and lots of links to other places where you can find information. You'll find mention of other books to check into. You'll also find that, usually, somebody will be happy to discuss most any issue or question you have.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 06-06-2010, 08:03 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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Lots to read.
If you start clicking on the threads you can find all sorts of info!

I suggest checking out the "happiness and success" thread on the "lifestories" section.
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