Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-18-2012, 07:40 PM
wetnips wetnips is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1
Default mom and step-daughter

I am so close to asking my wife if her daughter can poly-up. I don't see anything wrong with it cause we are not related, except by marriage.
What steps should I take to ease my wife into this?

Thank you all.
Old 09-18-2012, 08:23 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

I don't think "easing your wife into this" is the right frame of mind. I'll try to get past my gut reaction of "ew" and look at this logically:

-Does she (your step daughter) still live with you? If so, NO. Do not start a relationship with someone who depends on you for food, housing, etc.

-What is her age? What is your age? Has she had serious relationships before or would this be her first? If she is young, or a lot younger than you, or inexperienced, I would still say NO. Might be ageism, and I know some people make a significant age gap work, but you are already starting from an untenable position.

-Do you have any reason to think your step daughter would be interested in you that way? Or is this just your fantasy? And have you thought about how your wife would feel having to schedule her time with you based on your time with HER OWN DAUGHTER??

Ultimately, though you may only be related by marriage, this does not sound like a good idea to me. Past the gut reaction "ew" factor (which by the way makes you, with this being your only post thus far, seem hella creepy), because I'm trying to give you a thoughtful answer, is the belief that having relationships with people of the same family (mother/daughter, father/son, brothers, sisters, even cousins) is NOT a good idea. Poly is already difficult enough to manage in terms of time and communication- why add a whole other layer of complication to it by having a family relationship involved too??
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
Old 09-18-2012, 08:43 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I smell a troll.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Old 09-18-2012, 09:01 PM
polypenguin polypenguin is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 133

maybe i'm going out on a limb here, but a guy who calls himself "wet nips" and wants his step daughter (or wive's step daughter) seems just a little creepy.
Old 09-18-2012, 09:17 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

I tend to think you are right.. Thus-waiting and watching.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Old 09-19-2012, 12:05 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,643

Originally Posted by polypenguin View Post
maybe i'm going out on a limb here, but a guy who calls himself "wet nips" and wants his step daughter (or wive's step daughter) seems just a little creepy.
You just need to be more open-minded. You don't even KNOW the OP. How DARE you judge him like that.
Old 09-19-2012, 12:51 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,968

What does 'poly-up' mean?
Old 09-21-2012, 08:54 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187
Default Oh, hell, no!

No, folks, showing up here and advocating for incestuous pedophilia is not going to pass muster. No ifs, ands, or buts...I will toss your ass out the door.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 06:27 AM.