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Old 05-10-2010, 03:23 AM
texaschick texaschick is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 12
Default Finally admitting it to myself

Hello there!

I'm a 40 year straight female. I have been in a very stable happy relationship for 20 years (married for 17 of those years) with a mono man. In the last year and a half I have been involved in a polyamorous relationship with a long term friend of mine and my husbands. This is all with my husband's knowledge and permission.

The first ten months of so I felt extremely guilty.I ran the full range of emotions. I had many days of self hatred and depression because of it. Why couldn't I give my friend up. What kind of wife am I. Why is my husband so understanding. Before doing internet research I had never even heard of polyamory. When I did hear about it, it's like a lightbulb went off. I was not a freak, not involved in something ultimately wrong. It's perfectly normal for some people. I can't tell you how much of a relief this was.

My friend & I live our own lives (he lives 70 miles away) and he has a girlfriend. However,we share a deep connection as friends & as lovers. This in no way harms my marriage or takes away from it. It actually makes me appreciate my husband more. My husband and I have discussed the poly angle in depth and he feels he is not, but he supports me in it. I have not fully discussed it with my friend, but we both acknowledge we are both poly. I have not 'came out' to our other friends because I feel there might be some judgement. However, in the mean time I'm extremely happy to know I have something that many people do not have the mindset to allow themselves to have.

Thanks for reading and for having this great community to share with.
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  #2  
Old 05-10-2010, 05:04 AM
Moonglow Moonglow is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 132
Default Hello

Hi,

Welcome here. I have joined not too long ago. I am in a similar relationship. I hope you find everyone here as supportive and helpful as I have. I too am struggling with some of the same challenges you have described. Welcome!

MG
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  #3  
Old 05-10-2010, 02:36 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 885
Default Welcome !

Welcome to the board. Sounds like you have a very special husband, and a very special friend.

Enjoy what feels right, and leave doubt in other, less capable hands !
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Old 05-10-2010, 04:31 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Welcome to the board
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Old 05-10-2010, 11:16 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
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Welcome!!! It does feel good to finally accept and embrace the lifestyle which is so different from what we are taught!!
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The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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Old 05-11-2010, 04:39 AM
LostNoMore LostNoMore is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
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