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Old 05-10-2010, 03:23 AM
texaschick texaschick is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 12
Default Finally admitting it to myself

Hello there!

I'm a 40 year straight female. I have been in a very stable happy relationship for 20 years (married for 17 of those years) with a mono man. In the last year and a half I have been involved in a polyamorous relationship with a long term friend of mine and my husbands. This is all with my husband's knowledge and permission.

The first ten months of so I felt extremely guilty.I ran the full range of emotions. I had many days of self hatred and depression because of it. Why couldn't I give my friend up. What kind of wife am I. Why is my husband so understanding. Before doing internet research I had never even heard of polyamory. When I did hear about it, it's like a lightbulb went off. I was not a freak, not involved in something ultimately wrong. It's perfectly normal for some people. I can't tell you how much of a relief this was.

My friend & I live our own lives (he lives 70 miles away) and he has a girlfriend. However,we share a deep connection as friends & as lovers. This in no way harms my marriage or takes away from it. It actually makes me appreciate my husband more. My husband and I have discussed the poly angle in depth and he feels he is not, but he supports me in it. I have not fully discussed it with my friend, but we both acknowledge we are both poly. I have not 'came out' to our other friends because I feel there might be some judgement. However, in the mean time I'm extremely happy to know I have something that many people do not have the mindset to allow themselves to have.

Thanks for reading and for having this great community to share with.
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:04 AM
Moonglow Moonglow is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 151
Default Hello


Welcome here. I have joined not too long ago. I am in a similar relationship. I hope you find everyone here as supportive and helpful as I have. I too am struggling with some of the same challenges you have described. Welcome!

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Old 05-10-2010, 02:36 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 883
Default Welcome !

Welcome to the board. Sounds like you have a very special husband, and a very special friend.

Enjoy what feels right, and leave doubt in other, less capable hands !
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Old 05-10-2010, 04:31 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Welcome to the board
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Old 05-10-2010, 11:16 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

Welcome!!! It does feel good to finally accept and embrace the lifestyle which is so different from what we are taught!!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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Old 05-11-2010, 04:39 AM
LostNoMore LostNoMore is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 4

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