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  #1  
Old 05-09-2010, 10:30 PM
surfer surfer is offline
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Default how often do you see your secondary partners?

I was talking to a friend about polyamory and he said "well it's not really a girlfriend if you only see her once a week" and I certainly don't agree with that, but I do think he has a point that in the mono world, girlfriend/boyfriend is someone you're seeing several times a week.

Are their poly folks who also see their non-live-in secondary partners ever few days? I have the feeling the more common scenario is seeing them every week or two, but wanted to get input from y'all.

(oh and if someone has already asked this, sorry and just point me to the thread, I couldn't find this question in the archives)
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Old 05-10-2010, 01:15 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by surfer View Post
I was talking to a friend about polyamory and he said "well it's not really a girlfriend if you only see her once a week" and I certainly don't agree with that, but I do think he has a point that in the mono world, girlfriend/boyfriend is someone you're seeing several times a week.

Are their poly folks who also see their non-live-in secondary partners ever few days? I have the feeling the more common scenario is seeing them every week or two, but wanted to get input from y'all.

(oh and if someone has already asked this, sorry and just point me to the thread, I couldn't find this question in the archives)
Everyday, almost without fail. We both need that.
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Old 05-10-2010, 08:02 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Everyday, almost without fail. We both need that.
Me too! But I think it is an average of more like once every two weeks. We speak and catch glimpses of eachother more often but alone time probably every two weeks. There have been stretches where it is once a week for a couple of hours but I would LOVE a guaranteed once a week and would be the happiest girl on Earth if it was even a few moments everyday! Workin' on it!
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Old 05-29-2010, 01:53 AM
angel2fire angel2fire is offline
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My secondary lives just over 100 miles away, so I don't see her that often (usually for around a week every few months.) But we talk almost everyday, for at least an hour or so!
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Old 05-29-2010, 11:21 AM
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Our relationship is pretty new, our friendship is pretty old. We've all been great friends for 7 years, but in the last three months, it's taken a turn and has entered a Polyarmous relationship. We have all "left" the swinging community, to become exclusive..just the four of us.
We have been averaging every other day in the least. Sometimes it's two days in a row, with one off. Seeing's how we all live next to each other, it has become pretty convienent to get together. Candi
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Old 05-11-2010, 08:13 AM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
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Everyday, almost without fail. We both need that.
Oh how this would be a dream for me. Every time I leave him, I feel a sense of sadness, not knowing when I'll see him again.

I'm so glad for you, Redpepper and Nerdist, Mono.

Christie
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Old 05-11-2010, 12:18 PM
EugenePoet EugenePoet is offline
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I see L one evening a week, and we talk on the phone almost every night. Interesting dilemma: loving L has showed me how little I was settling for in prior relationships, but by the same token she's raised the bar pretty high. Dunno that I'll find anyone like her with whom I could form a primary relationship. Certainly I'm done with forming relationships just to avoid being lonely -- that was my first marriage, thanks for all the fish but never again. ...um, sorry, just stuff that's on my mind. Not really germane.
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Old 05-10-2010, 01:53 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by surfer View Post
I was talking to a friend about polyamory and he said "well it's not really a girlfriend if you only see her once a week" and I certainly don't agree with that, but I do think he has a point that in the mono world, girlfriend/boyfriend is someone you're seeing several times a week.

Are their poly folks who also see their non-live-in secondary partners ever few days? I have the feeling the more common scenario is seeing them every week or two, but wanted to get input from y'all.

(oh and if someone has already asked this, sorry and just point me to the thread, I couldn't find this question in the archives)
This probably isn't going to be a useful answer at all. I would say enough to maintain a healthy relationship without taking away from other relationships. For me it varies with the week and with what else is going on in everyone's lives.

-Derby
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Old 05-10-2010, 02:08 AM
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rpcrazy rpcrazy is offline
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logically, that's how it would have to be, especially if it's a V without the top 2 connected. :/ only 18 hours in a work day, and weekends tend to go quick
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Old 05-10-2010, 02:29 AM
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foxflame88 foxflame88 is offline
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Every week, and spend 2-3 days each time. I live with my primary, so he gets me the rest of the week.
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