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Old 08-23-2012, 03:34 AM
Caesar Caesar is offline
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Hello everyone I am new to poly and I would like to get to know more about these type of relationships. I was in a relationship for 5 years and had the desire of including someone else in it but the female I was dealing with at the time thought I was crazy. I honestly think this is for me and would like to see what these types of relationships have to offer. I really look forward to meeting new people who share the same interests as me.
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Old 08-23-2012, 09:37 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hi and welcome!

Every relationship, whether polyamorous or monogamous, has its own unique qualities. It all depends on the people involved, what they are looking for, and are willing to create for themselves. Polyamory is simply the practice or desire to have multiple loving relationships -- there is no common "type" of relationship nor specific poly "lifetsyle" to adopt. So, what kinds of relationships do you want? How do you envision making that happen?

I suggest you do some reading around this forum, read some of the stories in our Blogs section, check out our Golden Nuggets forum, and perhaps pick up a book on poly - there is a thread with suggestions for reading material. Any specific questions, please feel free to ask!
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Old 08-23-2012, 11:45 AM
Caesar Caesar is offline
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I would like a relationship with another couple and there would be no jealousy what so ever involved. This is my first time, so I am very ignorant into the matter. I'm pretty much open for anything and I am really looking forward tot he experience.
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Old 08-23-2012, 01:41 PM
ThirdAlternative ThirdAlternative is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hi and welcome!

Every relationship, whether polyamorous or monogamous, has its own unique qualities. It all depends on the people involved, what they are looking for, and are willing to create for themselves. Polyamory is simply the practice or desire to have multiple loving relationships -- there is no common "type" of relationship nor specific poly "lifetsyle" to adopt. So, what kinds of relationships do you want? How do you envision making that happen?

I suggest you do some reading around this forum, read some of the stories in our Blogs section, check out our Golden Nuggets forum, and perhaps pick up a book on poly - there is a thread with suggestions for reading material. Any specific questions, please feel free to ask!
I wonder how many confuse polyamory with just being plain old sexually promiscuous and using "well I'm polyamorous" as an excuse? I've certainly encountered a few men who said they were poly and I told them clearly they were not, because it's more of a relationship than just having a booty-call friend. It's because you want to be around that other person , you care for them, etc... Suddenly they would say "oh, I guess I was confused, I"m not looking for a relationship'.

Although I'm new to this board, I'm not new to this lifestyle. I suggest reading "The Ethical Slut" by Easton and Hardy. There's lots of good information there. What I got out of it was that polyamory is a CONSENSUAL relationship, everyone knows....EVERYONE..At least everyone 'should' know, but we know that's not always the case.

Good luck to you!
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Old 08-23-2012, 01:46 PM
Caesar Caesar is offline
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If you don't mind me asking,how long have you been adapted to this lifestyle?
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Old 08-23-2012, 02:02 PM
ThirdAlternative ThirdAlternative is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caesar View Post
If you don't mind me asking,how long have you been adapted to this lifestyle?
As for me, it's been 5+ years for us. We started off monogamous, briefly tried the swinging bit (which was way to impersonal for us; we were tired of feeling 'used' and being seen as "fresh meat") and looked in to forming more fulfilling relationships with people.
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Old 08-23-2012, 10:23 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThirdAlternative View Post
I suggest reading "The Ethical Slut" by Easton and Hardy. There's lots of good information there.
A lot of poly people like that book, but I think just as many really hate it. Other popular books that get recommended quite a bit are Opening Up by Tristan Taormino and Polyamory in the 21st Century by Deborah Anapol.

Check out this thread: Book and Website Recommendations

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caesar View Post
If you don't mind me asking,how long have you been adapted to this lifestyle?
As I wrote previously, there actually is no such thing as a specific polyamorous lifestyle that people adopt. Poly is something you incorporate into your own lifestyle and make work in whatever way you want it. There are countless kinds of lifestyles that poly people live.
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Last edited by nycindie; 08-23-2012 at 10:52 PM.
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