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  #1  
Old 08-20-2012, 08:55 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Default RainyGrlJenny's Story

So, I've decided to join y'all in the blogs The more I explore what it means to be poly, and to live poly, the more I feel an urge to get it out somewhere. This feels like a safe place to do that. The first couple posts will probably be backstory and cast of characters, and then hopefully relatively soon I can move into "real time."

I apologize in advance for my verbosity and sometimes scattered writing!
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35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #2  
Old 08-20-2012, 09:19 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Default Fly First

In 2006, I met a man on the internet. We were both AOL customers, and he had seen my profile and decided to send me an AIM message. We chatted for several days, and finally had a first date. We shared calzone and a long walk in the rain, but at the end of the date I wasn't sure I wanted to see him again. He was 10 years older than me, had a 1-year-old child, and was short - all completely opposite of what I thought my "type" was.

He continued to send me emails and messages, and it took about a month and a half before I agreed to set aside my prejudices and see him again. On our second date we were supposed to watch DVDs, but instead I gave him my virginity (at 27! It was about time!) and we've been inseparable since.

Fly's son was the product of a one-night-stand he had while in a 9-year relationship. When kiddo was 11 months old, Fly's baby mama told him to either be a real dad or to get out of kiddo's life completely. Fly decided to be a dad, and told his girlfriend and family about kiddo, and, as he tells me, the shit hit the fan. Both Fly and his girlfriend are involved in a sport that has a fairly small community, and so in the process of breaking up he lost a lot of friends who chose her side. It was a difficult time for him, and it took about 6 years for them to even speak civilly.

Due to this experience, Fly was very upfront with me that he did not want to be monogamous. In fact, he didn't even really want anything but a casual relationship. He felt that he had failed his girlfriend, and was adamant that he was not going to make promises he could not keep. I, on the other hand, was pretty naive, with all the pretty dreams of weddings and fairytales and was really apprehensive about entering into something with a man who was not going to be faithful to me. Imagine my surprise when, the first time he told me he'd slept with another woman, it didn't really bother me! When Fly heard this, his eyes darkened with arousal and appreciation, and I began to think there may be a way to make this work after all.

There have been rough times, crunchy conversations, and moments when we thought we couldn't fix the holes, but now we've been together 6 and a half years, and are strong in our love, commitment, and what we want our life to look and feel like. He's my heart and foundation.
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35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #3  
Old 08-20-2012, 09:41 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Default Exploring Me

Another reason Fly thought we shouldn't be monogamous was because I had never been with anyone else. In high school and college I was pretty involved with my church, and the few boyfriends I'd had were church kids too. Fly felt pretty strongly that I needed space to figure out who I am.

I've always been a strongly sexual person, indulging frequently in self-love and fascinated by how people relate to each other regarding sex and romance. With Fly's encouragement, my first steps were to seek information from classes, workshops, and group meetings. I became an enthusiastic shopper at the toy store (Babeland rocks!), and signed up for a membership at the local sex-positive community center. It was there I first heard about polyamory, and took a "Poly 101" workshop. I instantly felt a kinship towards the people who shared their experiences about how they built their families, how they structured their lives based on love instead of societal expectations. I wasn't ready to jump in the deep end, but polyamory simmered in the back of my mind for the next 4-5 years.

It was also about this time that I came to the firm conclusion that I am bisexual, at least sexually. I'd flirted with the idea for quite a while - there was a girl I was friends with in high school who was self-professed bi (now I think it was mostly for shock value), and I'd secretly had a bit of a hero crush on her. But for the first time, I'd begun to seriously consider dating and sleeping with a woman, and it felt erotic and appealing.

So, along with my Poly 101 and Art of the Blowjob classes, I took "Women Flirting with Women." My first impulse when confronted with new ideas is always to find a book or take a class, and it was no different with my sexuality.
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35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #4  
Old 08-20-2012, 10:10 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 174
Default A Jump Forward to Today

I was going to be all cool and chronological, but I'm squeeing with NRE, and I just have to write it out!

Fly really wanted to experience a FMF. We'd had MFM, and I'd been involved with a couple for a while, but this was something he'd never done. I'm not opposed to casual sex, although it's not something I'd seek out, so I agreed that if he found someone I could click with, I'd participate with him. He excitedly made profile for us on AFF, and came to me with a message from a woman he'd contacted there.

Initially, I did not find her appealing. She's 19 years older than me, her profile said nothing about her being attracted to women, and her picture was not particularly flattering. Despite my misgivings, however, I agreed to meet her.

As I opened the door and saw her on our doorstep for the very first time, there was this connection that I felt pulling in my gut. I had sex with her and Fly that night, and I felt so at home in her arms, her heart beating under my cheek, even her the scent of her skin made me feel safe. I've never been hit something so instant and overwhelming.

She's my Moonlight, and we talk and text for hours, have so much to tell and share with each other. When I'm with her, I feel adored and cherished, protected, and I have a need to take care of her. She's my first real romantic relationship with another woman, and it's the most amazing thing. We know how to touch each other, we have an empathy for each other that I've never experienced with a man, and I completely bubble over with joy, all the time now.

It also makes me smile to think how "poly" everything is. Fly has never been interested in anyone I've dated; in fact, he'd rather not know. He graciously agreed to meet Punk, and they've had polite conversation, but there's never been real compersion. He's happy when I'm happy, and sympathizes when Punk and I have rough times, but with Moonlight it's utterly different. Perhaps because it began with all 3 of us being sexually involved, but he's so thrilled for me to have found a girlfriend that I'm rapidly falling in love with, and content for she and I to have our own dyad that is emotionally and romantically tied. He and Moonlight have a lot in common and enjoy hanging out socially, and he and I have even discussed the possibility of inviting her on some of our long international trips we take every year. I love that they get along and even enjoy each other, and the delight Fly has for us is so strange and beautiful to me.

The three of us have hung out several times, and sex together 3 times, but tonight Moonlight and I get to have our first girls-only date and I'm absolutely beside myself. With Fly there, I stress a little bit that he's being left out, because she and I are so into each other, that it will be so exciting and freeing to just concentrate on being with her and interacting one-on-one. This is the first time I've felt like I've truly been going through NRE, and it's intoxicating!
__________________
35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #5  
Old 08-22-2012, 09:58 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 174
Default Bliss - a Night with Moonlight

Champagne, cheese and crackers, conversation.

Kisses, soft lips, gentle tongue, sweet breath.

Hands caressing my ass, breasts, cupping my cheeks, lifting my chin, stroking my hair.

Dark limbs twined with pale, yin and yang in the glow of a street light through the window.

Laughter, sighs, moans, whispers, secrets.

The taste of her in my mouth, the sound of her cries in my ears, the tremble of her muscles beneath my fingertips.

Peace, passion, vulnerability, safety, ecstasy, arousal, trust.

I think I'm well on my way to loving this woman.
__________________
35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #6  
Old 08-23-2012, 01:11 PM
Caesar Caesar is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8
Default

If you fall too deep, do you think you will still be able to look at your BF the same and have the same emotions for him as before?
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