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  #1  
Old 08-10-2012, 05:50 AM
noisycthulhu's Avatar
noisycthulhu noisycthulhu is offline
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Location: Texas
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Cool Don't Know What I'm Looking For in My Small Corner of the World

I'm 23
I'm Female
I am 'male minded'
(However I like having a vagina and boobs)
I love men
I love women
I'm curvy/chunky/etc
I don't know what I want

There are next to no options for someone like me who is interested in poly experiences here in Texas. I'm not sure what I want, but I do know that I love talking to people online, texting, pic messaging... but not just the same ol' "a/s/l send pic lookit mah dick"

That's so boring.

I want to be attracted to someone's brain, their personality, and then the sexy bits will be all the more exciting. I'm not for everyone, I am not the ideal of femme beauty, but there's got to be someone out there who shares this confusion and wants to connect, even just electronically.

So I'm an open book. I'm interested in nerd things, sexy things, funny things, and intelligent conversation. Discussions. Intellect. Being someone's friend first and foremost. Everything else can come naturally. No question is taboo and all will be answered. Ready.... GO.
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  #2  
Old 08-10-2012, 09:04 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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What does 'male minded' mean? I am sincerely curious.
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  #3  
Old 08-11-2012, 03:33 AM
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noisycthulhu noisycthulhu is offline
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Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
What does 'male minded' mean? I am sincerely curious.
lol I've been told every variation of this, and 'male minded' seem to encompass it all. I basically have more in common and similar thought patterns to males rather than females. Most people say I should have been a man and I've had the deepest friendships with men rather than women. It's not a negative thing - I enjoy my personality. But people get confused with my closeness to males and my sometimes brash attitude when it comes to humor, sex, and physical play. I wrestle :P I won't lie and say it isn't purely asexual, sometimes I just like being pinned down by a big guy.

Most people assume I'm a slightly more femme but still butch lesbian. I detest labels because it's rarely that simple. I love both genders, but I feel I would be the 'guy' in most relationships. I believe this is why my 'taste' in men are either very big manly lumberjack/Nordic God types or very lanky 'femme' type builds.

I don't make any sense.
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  #4  
Old 08-12-2012, 06:32 PM
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Setxfamily Setxfamily is offline
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Hello and welcome from the Houston area. What area do you reside in?
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  #5  
Old 08-12-2012, 07:39 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Location: Pennsyl-tucky
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noisycthulhu View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post:
What does 'male minded' mean? I am sincerely curious.
lol I've been told every variation of this, and 'male minded' seem to encompass it all. I basically have more in common and similar thought patterns to males rather than females. Most people say I should have been a man and I've had the deepest friendships with men rather than women. It's not a negative thing - I enjoy my personality. But people get confused with my closeness to males and my sometimes brash attitude when it comes to humor, sex, and physical play. I wrestle :P I won't lie and say it isn't purely asexual, sometimes I just like being pinned down by a big guy.

Most people assume I'm a slightly more femme but still butch lesbian. I detest labels because it's rarely that simple. I love both genders, but I feel I would be the 'guy' in most relationships. I believe this is why my 'taste' in men are either very big manly lumberjack/Nordic God types or very lanky 'femme' type builds.

I don't make any sense.
Actually, a lot of this makes perfect sense to me! But of course - a lot of what you are saying describes me as well.

I tend to feel more comfortable "hanging out" with men as "one of the boys" in general. My sense of humor and sexual aggressiveness can come across very masculine. I tend to have "bigger balls" than many when it comes to challenging authority. I tend to excel at interactions that involve intellectual debate, rational or logical thought, or practical solutions. I find myself avoiding topics involving emotions/romance/etc. After sex I tend to fall immediately asleep or am so energized I want to pop up and DO something (I only recognized that recently because Dude always wants to cuddle/talk after sex).

For me some of this may have been learned behavior - in college/grad school being 5'2", barely 100#, and looking very young for my age - when you are in a male dominated field, being able to take charge and not take shit from ANYONE is a useful skill (to this day my male boss of 13 years admits to my colleagues that he is a little bit afraid of me...which is just how I like it).

In my relations with women I tend to be drawn to very femme (but strong, independent) women. I definitely find myself taking on the "male" role there - protector, problem-solver, initiator of sex, etc. With men - I am attracted to big physically strong (but caring, thoughtful) alpha males who are my intellectual match.

I'm curious if you (like me) are your mother's firstborn child. Some of the "birth order" research points to a biological trend with regard to some of the tendencies noted. The first born child (of either gender) tends to be exposed to more testosterone in utero. In males this "boost" may be overshadowed by the cultural premium society gives the "first born male" (whether they are the first child or not). (Fair warning - birth order research is highly controvertial as there are MANY confounding factors...it just amuses me that me and my two younger sisters fit the profiles so closely.) MrS teases me about being my "father's oldest son" - I spent my childhood hunting, fishing, and fixing things with dad (I sometimes wonder if my father would have been such an awesome dad to his daughters if he had actually HAD a son? hmmm).

PS. Welcome to the forums and love the username.
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 08-12-2012 at 07:42 PM.
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  #6  
Old 08-12-2012, 08:50 PM
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Storm77 Storm77 is offline
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Well I can relate but from the opposite side.

Am male but always been the "nice guy" polite, at times shy when it comes to women, enjoy pampering and pleasing so a bit more submissive with my partner T. Due to health issues as a child and being part Native I'm stuck with a soft voice where people almost always think I'm a woman on the phone

I'm more emotional, sensitive, moody, quickly assume a counselor type to try and solve everyone's problems while mine often seem unimportant.

When it comes to sex, I also feel like I must be thinking more like a woman. I need to feel an emotional connection rather than just sex to get off, tend to really enjoy the submissive side. Very into the touching, kissing, cuddling... just pampering my partner.

Honestly only bi-curious or hetroflexable but otherwise not attracted to men for more than just sex so don't consider myself gay and being married to very a female wife kind of throws a wrench into that whole label anyways.

Overall I do joke, I'm more the female in our relationship and she's more the male. I'm usually the one saying "hon we need to talk... I feel..." or just over emotional over small stupid things I worry about. While she's a just calm go with the flow type.

At the risk of being smacked... Oooh maybe a spanking later
T can belch as loud as most guys and will give them a run for their money. When it comes to sex (LOL) I'm usually the one to wants to cuddle afterwards where she just wants to roll over and go to sleep. If she's still up afterwards she'll usually ask me to go make her a snack while she flips thru the channels on TV waiting, hehe.

Not sure how much of this makes sense or relates but that's pretty much me.

On the Poly side, it seems to suck big-time being a male. Contacting most women usually results like being told off that either Poly is disgusting! I'm just another male using it as an excuse to get in someones pants or the more polite response is "Your married!? Sorry not interested I have my own morals and values."

I hate the idea of being outright deceitful off the start but have been questioning how to change my profiles to not really say married but... still try to be honest. ie I live together, in an open relationship with my partner.
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  #7  
Old 08-14-2012, 11:02 PM
noisycthulhu's Avatar
noisycthulhu noisycthulhu is offline
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Location: Texas
Posts: 15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Setxfamily View Post
Hello and welcome from the Houston area. What area do you reside in?
Hello! I'm in the El Paso Borderland area Never been farther into Texas but heard awesome things about Houston ^_^

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
Actually, a lot of this makes perfect sense to me! But of course - a lot of what you are saying describes me as well.

I tend to feel more comfortable "hanging out" with men as "one of the boys" in general. My sense of humor and sexual aggressiveness can come across very masculine. I tend to have "bigger balls" than many when it comes to challenging authority. I tend to excel at interactions that involve intellectual debate, rational or logical thought, or practical solutions. I find myself avoiding topics involving emotions/romance/etc. After sex I tend to fall immediately asleep or am so energized I want to pop up and DO something (I only recognized that recently because Dude always wants to cuddle/talk after sex).

For me some of this may have been learned behavior - in college/grad school being 5'2", barely 100#, and looking very young for my age - when you are in a male dominated field, being able to take charge and not take shit from ANYONE is a useful skill (to this day my male boss of 13 years admits to my colleagues that he is a little bit afraid of me...which is just how I like it).

In my relations with women I tend to be drawn to very femme (but strong, independent) women. I definitely find myself taking on the "male" role there - protector, problem-solver, initiator of sex, etc. With men - I am attracted to big physically strong (but caring, thoughtful) alpha males who are my intellectual match.

I'm curious if you (like me) are your mother's firstborn child. Some of the "birth order" research points to a biological trend with regard to some of the tendencies noted. The first born child (of either gender) tends to be exposed to more testosterone in utero. In males this "boost" may be overshadowed by the cultural premium society gives the "first born male" (whether they are the first child or not). (Fair warning - birth order research is highly controvertial as there are MANY confounding factors...it just amuses me that me and my two younger sisters fit the profiles so closely.) MrS teases me about being my "father's oldest son" - I spent my childhood hunting, fishing, and fixing things with dad (I sometimes wonder if my father would have been such an awesome dad to his daughters if he had actually HAD a son? hmmm).

PS. Welcome to the forums and love the username.
Thanks for the welcome! My username is a favorite ^_^

Actually yes, I am my mother's firstborn. I did have a younger brother but he was born too premature so I'm technically the only one. I have theories on my level of testosterone and the effect it's had on my personality, but there's too many theories out there to narrow it down. So I just deal :P

I am atypical 'male' in that I'm very quiet and shy at first with people, but it doesn't take much for me to be 'myself', I guess. I don't have much aggression or hell even 'ambition' as someone who has more testosterone is 'supposed' to have, so Idk. Been a 'tomboy' all my life and have only within the last few years tried being more 'femme'.

What's funny is that as far as relationships, I've a total submissive ;P I have my opinions and am hardheaded but other activities... well...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm77 View Post
Well I can relate but from the opposite side.

Am male but always been the "nice guy" polite, at times shy when it comes to women, enjoy pampering and pleasing so a bit more submissive with my partner T. Due to health issues as a child and being part Native I'm stuck with a soft voice where people almost always think I'm a woman on the phone

I'm more emotional, sensitive, moody, quickly assume a counselor type to try and solve everyone's problems while mine often seem unimportant.

When it comes to sex, I also feel like I must be thinking more like a woman. I need to feel an emotional connection rather than just sex to get off, tend to really enjoy the submissive side. Very into the touching, kissing, cuddling... just pampering my partner.

Honestly only bi-curious or hetroflexable but otherwise not attracted to men for more than just sex so don't consider myself gay and being married to very a female wife kind of throws a wrench into that whole label anyways.

Overall I do joke, I'm more the female in our relationship and she's more the male. I'm usually the one saying "hon we need to talk... I feel..." or just over emotional over small stupid things I worry about. While she's a just calm go with the flow type.

At the risk of being smacked... Oooh maybe a spanking later
T can belch as loud as most guys and will give them a run for their money. When it comes to sex (LOL) I'm usually the one to wants to cuddle afterwards where she just wants to roll over and go to sleep. If she's still up afterwards she'll usually ask me to go make her a snack while she flips thru the channels on TV waiting, hehe.

Not sure how much of this makes sense or relates but that's pretty much me.

On the Poly side, it seems to suck big-time being a male. Contacting most women usually results like being told off that either Poly is disgusting! I'm just another male using it as an excuse to get in someones pants or the more polite response is "Your married!? Sorry not interested I have my own morals and values."

I hate the idea of being outright deceitful off the start but have been questioning how to change my profiles to not really say married but... still try to be honest. ie I live together, in an open relationship with my partner.
lol I feel ya... what's funny is that in sexy times I'm a total submissive, and I'm finding my mind needs to be more engaged than just my body... someone having a sexy mind + sexy body will be the devil, and I will be damned

People tend to think men get into poly situations just because 'oh they're men that's just what they do' but to be honest, a lot of people are at least curious about it. Everyone wants love and connection, right? There are many kinds of love and lots of ways to connect, why just limit yourself?

Oh, but wait... you have a dick, so you must just be a horndog XD I forgot that's how it works across the board...
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  #8  
Old 08-15-2012, 02:52 PM
scubadiver1 scubadiver1 is offline
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Hello

I am also interested to chat, discuss open relationships....i live in UK and looking to meet chat with new friends..who knows what things will develop

Regards

Charlie
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  #9  
Old 12-31-2012, 01:44 AM
CoupleInCA CoupleInCA is offline
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Thumbs up you sound like our cup of tea!

Whoa! I know you posted this thread a long time ago but are you still looking?
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