Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-06-2012, 05:21 PM
castle33's Avatar
castle33 castle33 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 48
Default I don't want to stop myself...

I know I know I know. I found out that feelings are shared. I'm married and my husband and I are really serious about a couple we are great friends with. Things are great. The only problem is that since I'v actually found out that the "other" husband does indeed like me, I have been finding it hard to stop thinking about it. I spoke with my husband and we both agreed to one day sit and talk with the other man, but I am scared that I won't be able to control myself. I'm not talking sex or even kissing. I just crave his company. Being close to him relaxes me. It is hard to put into words but I am sure you guys know what I"m getting at.

I am not new to poly and I know that if I make one wrong move I could ruin things. I guess I just needed to vent. This couple is vanilla and they are slowly learning about themselves. They know how my husband and I live and they still care about us. The other husband is ready, sort of, to talk about things with my husband and I but the three of us know that his wife needs time... a lot of time. She is my best friend. I don't want to hurt anyone.

It feels good to get this out. Even if it's just here. I'm not going to let myself do anything stupid. I'm too strong for that. I just need a few "girl, you betta' watch yo' self" comments to slap me in the face and remind me that I can do this.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-06-2012, 05:35 PM
Passionate1 Passionate1 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 18
Default

Gurllll... you betta watch yo self!!!! =) hows that? You know that you only move as fast as the slowest person. And if you really care about both of these people as much as you say you do then this will be a rule you will have to holdfast to. I give your vanilla friends a lot of credit for exploring this at their own pace. Slow and steady wins the race... if his presence is that calming for you then awesome! Invite them both over for more dinners, drinks, and all around chats with clothes on and bask away in the calming energy he brings! =)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-06-2012, 08:55 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,224
Default

Enjoy the crush from a distance for now. Things worth waiting for are worth waiting for.

I actually have one of those -- a crush at a distance and I just enjoy it when around the person. Without person knowing I crush. *shrug* DH knows and enjoys teasing me about it, but I'm content to leave it be where it is for now.

Just because we crush doesn't mean we have to DO anything about it, you know?

Hang in there.

GG
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-06-2012, 10:30 PM
Carolina Carolina is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 9
Default

Sometimes you just need to get it out and gush a bit. ;-)
Sounds like you know what you'redoing and need to do. Obviously communication is key and making sure everyone is comfortable is most important. But enjoy your swoony feelings! And enjoy your the company of these friends and this fella's comforting vibe. Just be careful not to overwhelm the wifey. Take it slow and enjoy the process. :-)
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-07-2012, 01:09 PM
castle33's Avatar
castle33 castle33 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 48
Default

omg i just typed a long ass reply and lost it. boooo!

well, i'll keep it short. i'm being a good girl. i am so mad now that i lost all i was typing. oh well.

i talked to the hubby last night. so now all four people know that the feelings are there. but they don't know that i am the only one that knows how each one feels. all three have told me how they feel about it all. who likes who, how comfy they are with sex and whatnot, how they feel close to each other but still not willing to say anything for fear of rejection and just plain ole' tabooish stuff. i feel as if i am a card master at the blackjack table. all the players know the rules but no one is ready to show their hand.


i will be spending time at the other couple's house tomorrow. nothing fancy as uaual but i am looking forward to it. i will keep my hands to myself but my mind will be off leash

Last edited by castle33; 08-07-2012 at 02:48 PM. Reason: spelling
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-07-2012, 01:34 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,224
Default

Quote:
i will keep my hands to myself but my mind will be off leash
That's an amusing turn of phrase!

Hope things are going well then in your world.

GG
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
comfort relationships, love, married couples

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:58 AM.