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Old 07-24-2012, 01:25 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Default Affection in front of metamours

In your relationships, how acceptable is it to show affection to a partner in front of that partner's other partner(s) (your metamour(s))? I got to thinking about this because of a post in which someone was talking about feeling sad when she saw her partner cuddling with his new partner (this was a vee, not a triad).

Personally, I have two partners (Gia and Davis) but only one metamour (Eric, Gia's husband), so this question pertains to me and Gia showing affection in front of Eric, or Eric and Gia showing affection in front on me. Although our relationship is emotionally a vee, we have threesomes from time to time (mmm), so in theory you'd think it'd be all cool to show all sorts of affection to each other whenever... certainly, when we're in sexy threesome mode we unabashedly show each other all sorts of affection, kissing, cuddling, etc.

However, thinking about it, I think that both Eric and I are much more reserved with Gia when the other is around versus how we might act alone. Like, if it's just me and her, I might randomly grab Gia and kiss and nuzzle her. I might even still do that with Eric elsewhere in the house, because if he passes through and sees it it's no big deal... but I wouldn't do it right in front of him except to say goodbye at the end of the night. Just seems rude. And as much as I wish it were otherwise, I DO feel some jealousy over the time that he and her get together (which she and I don't get much of lately), so I really appreciate the fact that they aren't usually overtly sexual or even particularly cuddly around me if I'm not going to be included. I would probably be much more chill and compersion-y about it if I had all the her-and-me time I could possibly want right now, but all three of us know quite clearly that that's not the case. :/ So, yeah, I appreciate their discretion all the more.

So, how do displays of affection in front of metamours factor into your relationships, if at all?
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Old 07-24-2012, 04:28 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Maca and I tend to be pretty affectionate, but GG and I are not (in front of Maca).

We're also a V.

I tend to be somewhat uncomfortable with anything beyond a hug or cuddle in front of either (with the other).

With one of his gf's Maca did anything and everything in front of me. But was awkward doing anything with me in front of her.

The 3 "almost" gf's which lasted under 3 months he tended to be very affectionate with them in front of me, but not vice versa.

Which is ironic-because in front of GG he tends to try to be very affectionate with me-but I don't allow it.
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:45 AM
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We are quite reserved as well. Kisses are OK, as long as they aren't of those kind that get you out of your clothing within some seconds. Cuddling is something we do all the time and not only restricted to the couples but everyone with everyone. (Yes, the two guys are cuddling each other Or to phrase it more precisely, Sward loves to cuddle Lin.) Holding hands, other signs of attachment and care are OK as well, none of us has a problem with that.

In my case it comes down to my personal taste. I don't like 'showing off' in a way. I am well aware of others around me and I have never been someone to display my affection in front of others. And it doesn't matter if those people are strangers, friends, family or my other partner, I am quite protective of those moments and want to enjoy them in private, just me and the partner I am experiencing them with.
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Old 07-24-2012, 06:49 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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I haven't been able to get them in a room together since we became a vee. However, we've all known each other about 9 years before we were a vee. When I was living with CBF, and FBF would come to visit us, I would often pet his hair (he has lovely long dirty blond hair) or hug on him or give scritchies. He doesn't tolerate overmuch touching so it was pretty limited. But CBF loves him too, and knew that he didn't have much touch in his life, and fully supported it. I honestly don't think that boy could be jealous if he wanted to.

I suspect FBF would be more uncomfortable watching me and CBF be affectionate. But finding out will have to wait. We were all supposed to go to the state fair today but CBF flaked on us.
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Old 07-24-2012, 09:19 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I don't think I'd be as affectionate in front of a metamour or another partner, but then again, I don't think I'd be as affectionate in front of anyone at all. There are some displays of affection that are a bit too intimate to happen in front of others.

Mind you, that's not my natural instinct, I'd just be affectionate everywhere, but I've learned to tame it as it made people uncomfortable (either the partner I was kissing/snuggling, etc, or people who were present).

Now I'm more reserved and although I don't have much experience with it, I assume I'd be similarly reserved in front of metamours or other partners, unless we were all comfortable with it and knew that.
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:49 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
I don't think I'd be as affectionate in front of a metamour or another partner, but then again, I don't think I'd be as affectionate in front of anyone at all. There are some displays of affection that are a bit too intimate to happen in front of others.

Mind you, that's not my natural instinct, I'd just be affectionate everywhere, but I've learned to tame it as it made people uncomfortable (either the partner I was kissing/snuggling, etc, or people who were present).

Now I'm more reserved and although I don't have much experience with it, I assume I'd be similarly reserved in front of metamours or other partners, unless we were all comfortable with it and knew that.
I'm giggling. The red-so me!!
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