interesting question about polyandry, primarily for females

[fireman29]

I was wondering about polyandry and also sexuality in general, and wanted female perpective on this. for the sake of the discussion, take a relationship involving one women and two males. For the women out there, in your perfect ideal world, would you want the guys to also have a relationship with each other, or date you separately? I know there are many factors at play, such as the orientation of the guys etc, but taking all other considerations out of it, how would you prefer it? would your preference be different if it was just a one night hookup with two guys? I am guessing there will be a great varety of thoughts on this. It is an interesting question to me, because it seems that in the mainstream world, two women together, in a threesome context or otherwise, are "hot" and two guys interacting sexually in any way is gross. Not sure why this double standard exists, but i believe it is because if women are turned on by two men interacting sexually, either in a threesome or just performing for her enjoyment, it seems as though they are objectifying those men like pieces of meat. I believe most of society, including alot of women, is conditioned to be uncomfortable with that. thoughts?

[Nudibranch]

Originally Posted by fireman29

In your perfect ideal world, would you want the guys to also have a relationship with each other, or date you separately? I know there are many factors at play, such as the orientation of the guys etc, but taking all other considerations out of it, how would you prefer it? would your preference be different if it was just a one night hookup with two guys?

Well, I'm bi and so is my husband/partner of 20+ years. So I have no problems nor fetishes around men being together...or not. It's about the people involved, not the configuration of genitals.

My husband and I are working out how to proceed with our third, who is a man who never considered an intimate or sexual relationship with a man, never mind a couple...but our polyrelationship has been growing simply and unfolding very naturally after a long acquaintance/friendship. It's a beautiful gift to receive from life.

For me, just having these two incredibly hot guys making me coffee in the morning--standing there in the kitchen, shirtless--makes me think I *must* have died and gone to heaven. To be squoze in between them as we watch a movie/pass the popcorn bowls, or nap, or whatever...it's amazing.

What is really interesting to me is that originally, I figured that if we ever added a third to our monogamous marriage (of over 10 years), it would be a guy for him. So I was amazed that our partner came in as my beloved first. Over time they are becoming closer physically, though it's not sexual at all. The interesting part? I find myself getting protective. Not quite jealous, but kind of keeping score. For instance, my husband will observe (neutrally and in trust/intimacy/updating) that he is feeling a bit left out...and I find myself quickly counter-observing that he has had way more time with the two of us, or our partner, than I've had alone with the latter. IOW, me saying to him, basically, "Back off a little."

If our partner ever developed a sexual attraction to my husband, I'm not sure how I'd react. At present the sexual thunderbolts and baby bunnies are all between our partner and me. But none of this is categorical. For me, it's a matter of what's best for everyone concerned. And now, I can't imagine life without our partner. There is a specific and particular balance for the three of us, out of our specific and particular personalities. And it doesn't hurt that we've all known each other for so long before this.

[AnnabelMore]

All other things being completely equal, I would much prefer the two men to be sexually and romantically involved with each other as well as me! The idea is both very hot and very sweet, and it would, as long as things were going smoothly, make it easier to determine things like who slept where (we could just all sleep together more often than not). That said, I would by no means expect or require them to be involved if it didn't come naturally to them.

[bigkellyna]

Originally Posted by Nudibranch

Well, I'm bi and so is my husband/partner of 20+ years. So I have no problems nor fetishes around men being together...or not. It's about the people involved, not the configuration of genitals.

My husband and I are working out how to proceed with our third, who is a man who never considered an intimate or sexual relationship with a man, never mind a couple...but our polyrelationship has been growing simply and unfolding very naturally after a long acquaintance/friendship. It's a beautiful gift to receive from life.

For me, just having these two incredibly hot guys making me coffee in the morning--standing there in the kitchen, shirtless--makes me think I *must* have died and gone to heaven. To be squoze in between them as we watch a movie/pass the popcorn bowls, or nap, or whatever...it's amazing.

What is really interesting to me is that originally, I figured that if we ever added a third to our monogamous marriage (of over 10 years), it would be a guy for him. So I was amazed that our partner came in as my beloved first. Over time they are becoming closer physically, though it's not sexual at all. The interesting part? I find myself getting protective. Not quite jealous, but kind of keeping score. For instance, my husband will observe (neutrally and in trust/intimacy/updating) that he is feeling a bit left out...and I find myself quickly counter-observing that he has had way more time with the two of us, or our partner, than I've had alone with the latter. IOW, me saying to him, basically, "Back off a little."

If our partner ever developed a sexual attraction to my husband, I'm not sure how I'd react. At present the sexual thunderbolts and baby bunnies are all between our partner and me. But none of this is categorical. For me, it's a matter of what's best for everyone concerned. And now, I can't imagine life without our partner. There is a specific and particular balance for the three of us, out of our specific and particular personalities. And it doesn't hurt that we've all known each other for so long before this.

The three of you are very lucky and I admit to being envious... Believe me when i say that I am SO much on your side, it you can all make it happen then I have some hope...

[Arrowbound]

Originally Posted by fireman29

I was wondering about polyandry and also sexuality in general, and wanted female perpective on this. for the sake of the discussion, take a relationship involving one women and two males. For the women out there, in your perfect ideal world, would you want the guys to also have a relationship with each other, or date you separately?

They wouldn't have to be best friends, but if a friendship developed I certainly wouldn't stand in the way. A romantic relationship is unlikely since my SO, though pansexual, is specifically attracted to women and transwomen.

Originally Posted by fireman29

would your preference be different if it was just a one night hookup with two guys?

If that was the case, I wouldn't worry about them being civil or whatever. Completely different scenario.

Originally Posted by fireman29

I am guessing there will be a great varety of thoughts on this. It is an interesting question to me, because it seems that in the mainstream world, two women together, in a threesome context or otherwise, are "hot" and two guys interacting sexually in any way is gross. Not sure why this double standard exists, but i believe it is because if women are turned on by two men interacting sexually, either in a threesome or just performing for her enjoyment, it seems as though they are objectifying those men like pieces of meat. I believe most of society, including alot of women, is conditioned to be uncomfortable with that. thoughts?

I think so too. Personally though, I'm generally more intrigued and enthused when I see men together sexually or romantically, rather than turned on. I find it beautiful, like art. (Probably weird but whatever LOL) I have only been interested in viewing a man-to-man experience with regards to my ex. Outside of him it's never crossed my mind with anyone else.

[LovingRadiance]

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore

All other things being completely equal, I would much prefer the two men to be sexually and romantically involved with each other as well as me! The idea is both very hot and very sweet, and it would, as long as things were going smoothly, make it easier to determine things like who slept where (we could just all sleep together more often than not). That said, I would by no means expect or require them to be involved if it didn't come naturally to them.

The above would be my thought. I think it would be hot.
However, as I'm in love with two straight men, I'm happy with them just getting along and the three of us cohabiting with the kids.

[Tonberry]

As long as they get along and love each other, I don't really care if they also love each other romantically and/or have sex. I know the question is to pick one, but I don't think I can. It's kind of like asking me if I'd rather have a blond or brunette partner, I know some people care, but I really don't.
What I definitely wouldn't like is for one of them to be in love with the other, but it not being reciprocated.

So far, I've only ever been with straight guys, so the triad option hasn't actually been an option. I have to admit I would enjoy it happening just so I've experienced both, but you can't really force these things :P

[StarTeddy]

Originally Posted by Tonberry

As long as they get along and love each other, I don't really care if they also love each other romantically and/or have sex. I know the question is to pick one, but I don't think I can. It's kind of like asking me if I'd rather have a blond or brunette partner, I know some people care, but I really don't.
What I definitely wouldn't like is for one of them to be in love with the other, but it not being reciprocated.

So far, I've only ever been with straight guys, so the triad option hasn't actually been an option. I have to admit I would enjoy it happening just so I've experienced both, but you can't really force these things :P

This is more or less exactly what I was going to say. I'd always want them to be at least friends. If they were best friends, then that would ideal for me. But for lovers...I wouldn't be able to say.

[Mya]

This is a tricky one because on the other hand two men together is totally hot and I would love to see them loving each other, being affectionate and having sex. But then on the other hand, triads are something I've never really dreamed about. So I would have to decide which is more important to me.. If I could decide, I would actually prefer a situation where my male partner had a male partner but I would only be involved with one of them. That way I would get to see some affection between them, and the love, but not have to be in a triad.

[lovefromgirl]

Originally Posted by fireman29

For the women out there, in your perfect ideal world, would you want the guys to also have a relationship with each other, or date you separately?

Eh, whatever they liked. I mean, I wouldn't say no to joining a couple that registered high on the Kinsey, but I don't need that to be happy. Also, nope, their relationship is not my porn! There's porn for that.